My great great grandfather on my father's side is buried near here, he fought for the North out of Missouri, and when the war was over they came to Texas with one former slave that was his best friend, and had long been emancipated.
On my Mom's side they were mostly in the Confederacy, although being Irish, they were not much better off back then than slaves.
My Great Great Grandfather is buried in a small cemetery with over a dozen Confederate veterans...he is the only Union veteran there. I've heard all the family stories, and there was little or no friction between any of the veterans after the war...not here at least. My Grandfather was a rancher and highly respected by his friends of any persuasion, and so was his former Black slave. More than likely they had all had enough of war and dying..
As I read those old letters from a soldier on my Mom's side of the family, the horrific cost of the war makes it easy to see why few wanted to continue it forward. The reenactments we see today, and the historical slant of glorious victories and triumphant battles hide the reality that was. Same with most wars. Only those that served can relive the true horror, and unfortunately, far too many of our veterans do just that.
There are better ways, but mankind has yet to find them.
Regards!