A terrible new year

*Syb* · 01-09-2009, 06:41 AM

On january first, I got a phone call. My cellphone display said it was my best friend calling. So I answered cheerfully, wishing him all the best for the year that had just begun.

A woman's voice. "No, it is not him calling." I recognized the woman as one of his close friends. She said a few phrases that would destroy all my joy.

"Frodo has had a car accident with his girlfriend. They ended up with their car in the ice cold water besides their road. Both are in a coma now, and there is very little hope either will ever awake."

Frodo had been among my closest friends for the last fifteen years or so. We went a lot on photo-shooting-trips. His life hadn't been easy before, and our days were fun and relief in one.

I hardly heard the phrases, and an entire world fell apart. But before that could happen I realized I had to be there for his parents, brothers and sister who had to cope with this. I had to support them. His in-laws-to be.

A week passed. A dramatic week in which both lives were fought for in hospital, and then appeared to be impossible to save.

So now they're gone. Tomorrow he will be buried, she will be joining him next week.

And still I don't get it. Why? What happened? Is it really true? Is this friendship, this heart-felt part of mine, is it really over now? Is the loving memory all that remains?

Still waiting for the phone call to deny it.

There is at least one thing he taught me. Look up, the skies are great for photos! Look how man has changed the land. How nature and culture merge in the landscape!

He was no Pentaxian. But an inspiring photographer that will be missed a lot.

MRRiley · 01-09-2009, 06:45 AM

Sorry to hear that Syb. My heartfelt condolences to you and your friend's families.

*séamuis* · 01-09-2009, 07:08 AM

that is truly tragic Syb and my condolences go out to you, your friends and family. Im glad though that you remember your friend by his advice and looking up. that is the best thing you can do everyday of your life.

elkarrde · 01-09-2009, 07:26 AM

my condolences, that's terrible.

*benjikan* · 01-09-2009, 09:45 AM

Dear Syb;

There are no WORDS that can describe your profound grief. All would seem shallow... and justifiably so. In reading and experiencing your letter, I was struck by the shock of what you certainly felt by this untimely event.

It is another journey in your life experience.

Yours Sincerely
Ben

*daacon* · 01-09-2009, 09:57 AM

As has been said there are no words, and no reasons why. I am truly sorry for your loss.

*Igilligan* · 01-09-2009, 10:19 AM

Syb, I am so sorry to hear of your pain and loss... to lose such a close friend is one of the toughest things life throws at us. Reach out for support, you will need it. Walk slowly, and look up

navcom · 01-09-2009, 10:54 AM

My heart-felt condolences Syb. What a terrible loss. Each human life is precious and there is no easy way to ease the pain. Understand you are not alone. All of us at some point have or will be sharing your experience.

As the philosophers of old have said, death is as much a part of life as birth, just as pain is as much a part as joy. For some death comes early in life, for others later. It's not something we can control too well and it does not discriminate against the good or the bad.

And death will come "like a thief in the night" for most of us. What is most important is not the beginning or the end, but what happens in between. As individuals, we ultimately have no control over our beginning or our end. Accepting this, we can focus on what we can control...our individual life between the beginning and end by making the most of it and helping others to do the same. With this frame of mind, I believe it becomes a bit easier to overcome such a tragic loss and life change.

It doesn't make the pain go away. But in a way, the very fact that your pain exists is a sign that your friends were very much loved. I'm sure they knew that.

You are not alone. Lean on your relatives and friends. Console with those who've been there before, as well as those who are sharing your grief right now. You will get through it and I guarantee you will be a stronger person.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Syb.

JCSullivan · 01-09-2009, 11:05 AM

SYB, I know the feeling well. I know the pain when one looses a close and dear friend and sometimes worse than losing a lover or partner.

He will be with you everytime you look at the skies above and your friendship will continue for ever.

timbo13 · 01-09-2009, 11:36 AM

so sorry to hear of your loss, my deepest condolences.

Mile High · 01-09-2009, 11:56 AM

Hi Syb,
our thoughts are with you!

vievetrick · 01-09-2009, 12:00 PM

My thoughts will be with you and the families that have lost loved ones.

*sureshgvv* · 01-09-2009, 12:58 PM

Sorry to hear what happened, My heartfelt condolences!!!

dazman · 01-09-2009, 04:10 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, Syb. My condolences go out to you and the families.

*Mallee Boy* · 01-09-2009, 04:20 PM

Dear Syb,
Please accept our sincere condolences. Words seem so inconsequential at times like this but it is all we have to offer.

Grant, Anne & family.