talk to your kids

*graphicgr8s* · 10-28-2009, 09:43 PM

Parents, you need to talk to your kids. Get in their faces and find out what's going on in their lives.

Two weeks ago my friend's daughter had him pick her up. (she lives on her own) She was drunk. Normally when she's around him she calms down even when drunk. She went over to our other neighbors house at about 5 am. Any how the police were called and they (her dad and our neighbor) tried to Baker Act her. Cop said she didn't meet all the requirements. 3 days later she hung herself.

I beg you. Talk to your kids. Seems like many today find suicide the easy way out. She was a beautiful 24 year old girl.

*Ash* · 10-28-2009, 09:49 PM

I assume that Baker Act in the US is like the Mental Health Act in Aus, where police are mandated to bring a person at risk of harming themselves/others to a mental health facility for crisis management...

Certainly sad to hear. Although not all suicides are preventable, many in the tumultuous years of adolescence and early adulthood could do with a good sit down with their parents for a non-judgemental heart-to-heart.

There will be plenty of that in our family...

little laker · 10-28-2009, 09:54 PM

I'm sorry to hear that graphicgr8s,

And it isn't only parents that sould listen. Some of my friends children feel more comfortable talking to their parents friends, knowing that they won't get in trouble from them.

*graphicgr8s* · 10-28-2009, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Ash

I assume that Baker Act in the US is like the Mental Health Act in Aus, where police are mandated to bring a person at risk of harming themselves/others to a mental health facility for crisis management...

Certainly sad to hear. Although not all suicides are preventable, many in the tumultuous years of adolescence and early adulthood could do with a good sit down with their parents for a non-judgemental heart-to-heart.

There will be plenty of that in our family...

Same type of Act. And the same will happen in my home. She was my buddy's life. For a while I was concerned about him. 2 years ago he had an accident testing an ATV and lost use of his right arm. I found out about the suicide about 1 week after it happened so I went down and talked to him Monday. I will say since his accident I think Monday was the first time I've seen him smile while he was reminising

Stu I am going to make sure G4 feels good enough to talk to me about ANYTHING.

*Ratmagiclady* · 10-28-2009, 10:08 PM

OK, for this, catching the gist, I unignore.

I'm sorry it's too late.

'Getting in kids' faces' isn't, though, always the answer. Being someone that doesn't *have* to... Works better. If kids kill themselves, it's cause they feel there's no other way out. If they aren't talking to their parents, it ain't cause they're just bashful or something.

I mean, I dunno, maybe things are different now, but when I was a kid, it was always the ones who tried hardest to be 'normal' who accidentally took the wrong number of dozen sleeping pills or had gun-cleaning accidents. Guessing interrogation at some late date isn't the answer there.

(Btw, lame of me, debatewise, but I'm reignoring. I really don't care to go into it further with you. )

*res3567* · 10-28-2009, 11:38 PM

Oh my Lord!!!!

**Damn Brit** · 10-28-2009, 11:51 PM

Sorry to hear about that George, it hit's home when it's a friend and you have kids of your own.

The thing is not to leave it until it's too late. They have to grow up knowing they can talk to their parents.

*Ash* · 10-29-2009, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by Damn Brit

Sorry to hear about that George, it hit's home when it's a friend and you have kids of your own.

The thing is not to leave it until it's too late. They have to grow up knowing they can talk to their parents.

And feel free and comfortable to talk to them too.

My own dad assumed the position as the 'God of the household' and made sure we kids were clear about that, and when it came time for his 'deep and meaningfuls' he wished I would approach him as a friend rather than a father.

To date I have found it hard to reconcile these contradictions...

jct us101 · 10-29-2009, 12:31 AM

Being someone who has been down this path before, I can definitely relate. If I could change anything in my life, it would definitely be that.

*Bramela* · 10-29-2009, 02:45 AM

That is a very sad experience, I just pray that you can find the right words for your friend. It is not always that easy.

I feel that ( and I dont mean in this particular case) too many parents are so busy with earning, chasing promotions etc. etc. in order to pursue "things" they want, that time for the children is pushed down the list of priorities.

They need to know that Dad and Mum are there, and they need to have the confidence to bring ALL their problems etc out into the open.

Sounds easy, but then again it isn't always.

As a parent I have been through it all, particularly with 3 daughters,, I have many regrets but did get through it ........ sort of. Still have one relationship problem, but she was always the difficult one

flyer · 10-29-2009, 03:00 AM

I feel sorry for your friend's loss. I actually know what he is going through, and I wish I could forget about it"

I pray for him and his lost daughter.

*reeftool* · 10-29-2009, 08:47 AM

I'm always sad to hear a story like this. These things are preventable. If the girl was drinking that heavily all the time, that in itself should have been big warning sign that something was wrong. There were probably issues that went ignored for years.

*graphicgr8s* · 10-29-2009, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by reeftool

I'm always sad to hear a story like this. These things are preventable. If the girl was drinking that heavily all the time, that in itself should have been big warning sign that something was wrong. There were probably issues that went ignored for years.

No she wasn't drinking all the time. She had called up her Dad and asked him to go out with her. He's not a drinker so he declined. But he did go pick her up later and took her to his house.

Bruce, I found out about it a week after it happened. I saw him loading furniture into his shop but I thought he just had a girlfriend moving in. Wednesday when I saw a bunch of cars over I just figured he was having a BBQ with friends. Then I found out Saturday. Since he is a mechanic and his shop is at the house (he has a lift in his barn.) when his gate is closed I leave him alone. I also figured he needed time to grieve some. But I watched and saw lights going on and off. Monday he was out washing his race car so I went over and we had a good talk.

I think most of the problems were financial.

And thanks guys. He is a good friend. Do anything for you.

RML you can ignore me all you want. I didn't open this thread for debate. I want people, including myself when the time comes, to talk to our/my/your kids. Find out things before it's irreversible. And death IS irreversible.

There is a time and a place for debate. This isn't it.

Gooshin · 10-29-2009, 10:13 AM

you can have the best relationship with your parents and still feel really down

sometimes ones life is their own.

*Blue* · 10-29-2009, 01:36 PM

I agree with Gooshin. Sometimes people can have situations in their lives even with the best parents on the planet.