Thanks to some of the comments above, I had some clue what to talk about when I finally went into town yesterday & went to the photo lab.
Yes, they are printing from scans (NOT what the guy on the phone told me; "oh, it's all optical"
).
Yes, they've got some kind of super-contrast setting for crappy digicams.
So, I took some of the worst examples, theirs vs. a few that I scanned & printed with no adjustments from the negs.
I talked to 3 people, & they were all polite & receptive, which was a surprise. No one likes some nobody coming in off the street telling them their product is crap. But they listened, & explained pretty much what you guys said -- they have their contrast jacked up. "These should never have left the lab", said the general manager. They offered to redo them, but that would be at least half a dozen rolls. I'll settle for them doing a better job in future for the ridiculous price.
I always asked for my prints to be done "as is" -- straight from the negative, pretend it's a slide, don't "fix" it for me, if I messed up the exposure I want to see that. Apparently "as is" no longer works thanks to the equipment they have, & they
will have to adjust for me, or turn the contrast setting off. The girl who runs the printer said she would look at each one & try to do a better job with them. Unfortunately their machine is "down" or glitched or something, so they couldn't do anything right away anyway & will have to mail me the films when they're done. After the tech comes to look at it.
I still don't like this lab as an option because of the price but at least maybe they'll do a bit better job!
Anyway, wanted to thank those who posted things that helped me understand what was going on with my films.