yeatzee: to clarify your confusion (hopefuly): you don't control the aperture on any k lenses, at all,
not literally. what you do is set a "doorstop", to limit how much the aperture is allowed to close:
when the shutter engages, the aperture lever on the camera will move the lever on the lens, in
m mode, it will move it as much as it will go (controlled by the aperture ring, the "doorstop"), in
av mode, if the lens is a or "better" (the camera can tell), _and_ if the lens is not set to any
specific setting (so must be set to "A" on the smc-a lenses, again, the camera can tell), it will
move the aperture lever as much as it decides it wants to close the aperture (in the case of av,
as much as you decided, when setting the desired aperture). the only cameras who worked like
you expected in av with m lenses were those which came before the smc-a (and only knew to
close the aperture or not to close it, no actual control of the aperture lever, all or nothing, so to speak):
they would read the aperture you pre-selected on the lens mechanically (or do stop down metering,
i don't know if there was also this version, or all k-mount bodies were wide-open metered), chose
the shutter speed, or advise you via the meter, and when you tripped the shutter, just push the lever
on the lens as far as it would go; this made the old k bodies much simpler, from a mechanical
point of view (makes a lot of sense, imho), but the day came when you had to provide control of
the aperture on the body instead (technology...).
following the above, one might think there should be a way to fool the camera into treating an
m-lens as an a-lens, and there is (but with limitations). see here if curious:
https://www.pentaxforums.com/forums/do-yourself/73144-how-make-non-lens-work-like-lens.html
hope this didn't add to the confusion