[Zafar Iqbal]

I recently covered a wedding and had the worst experience ever:

Complete lack of respect - and I mean that literally.

Tons of people wanted to take their own photographs. Mostly cellphone users = they crowded up very close. Typical working space at key moments incl. group shots were 1-2 meters while rubbing elbows and shoulders.

No matter how few or many I tried to photograph, someone else always jumped in.. and one more.. and one more. This led to some mis-fires ie. not a single shot taken because the group was never finished before it dissolved itself (by added help from the by-standing cell-phone shooters, who naturally just clicked away no matter how the group looked - so much for me being there at the wedding).

I repeatedly expressed my worries and kindly asked people to respect what I was doing but to no vain. Instead some got angry with me and later deliberately walked past in front of the cam, while I was attempting group or couple shots.

I told all this to the person I was in contact with during the day, and he understood - he tried and tried but he too failed.

There was a videographer there as well and I had few words with him before guests started to arrive, to introduce myself, let him know how I prefer to work, and also to asked how he works, so I too could respect his ways as well. He seemed to get offended by it and assured me he had done tons and tons of weddings and is fully routined with working alongside with photographers. That's was a huge lie or his definition was entirely different. He completely ignored what I had wished for and when we did the formal group/family shots, *he* got angry with me.

For instance, I set up for *the* family shot. Shuffled people around so the group would look nicer. Moved trash away from the floor etc. etc. and when I stepped away to take a shot, the videographer tells *me* to step aside and in a nasty tone. Like hell I was going to make him ruin the shot I just set up for. I really felt like slapping him several times during the day.

And what did he do with every single group? Pan across all faces. Seriously? Why not just use a photo and zoom in on that and pan - it's almost as lifeless as whatever you are trying :/

When the couple arrived (each by them selfs and their own families), I had asked for few clean long-focal shots. I got none. The videographer was right up their faces all the way from car, entrance and to where they were supposed to sit.

I also told my contact person that I can't deliver what the couple is expecting. There were no point in trying, since there were so many issues. It wasn't hard working conditions. It was impossible working conditions.

Oh, and whenever I did get to photograph, the groups heads were turned all over the place - the hell they are since i have 100 cellphones besides me.

People just simply didn't get the single point that with so many cameras, non is ending up with anything good.

Oh and the place the reception was held at - I'm amazed by the lack of their lack of professionalism and service level. Music was playing all the time and often so loud that I couldn't hear my own thoughts, let alone communicate with whomever I was attempting to photograph. Communication developed into sign language. They also kicked the final guests (family members) out 1½h earlier than what the couple had booked for!

Most of the guest had already left by the end of the day and this was when I could shine. I now had peace and room to do *my* stuff and did some fancy shots with the couple. Ironically the remainder of the people loved them (why couldn't they figure this out early since i was *hired* for this, and give me the space I needed throughout the day?! :/ ). So much so that everyone wanted to have their turns, from young to old. Fine.. but then the place kicked us out. I had to pack my gear in complete darkness with only some light shining through the window. I asked the organizer to turn it back on - twice to make sure he heard me, and he did, but he asked me to move my stuff outside where there is light. I'm pretty sure I'm going to advice every single person I talk to from now on, not to use that place. Well done.

I was frustrated but had a smile on my face all day - because how I appear to be affects who I photograph. But both the videographer and the organizer at the places were idiots. The videographer started to yell at people at one point (yah, it was hard for him too, but don't yell, you moron).

I've had challenging weddings before, but this tops them all, combined, by far! I've had issues with multiple Uncle Bob types at the same wedding, but nothing that even comes close to this. Was the wedding *that* special? Not at all. What I experienced and witnessed was lack of civilized behavior from many many people, including professionals.

So yah, I'm pissed. I have some good shots, but I do not have "my kind of shots". The kind the couple hired me for. I feel bad about it on their behalf, but I do not for a second feel I failed anyone, which otherwise is something I can easily do.

What would you have done? I feel I tried everything I could - almost everything. One last option that I see would be to turn off the music, grab everyone attention by yelling, preferably using a mic, and telling people to shove their phones - in a kinder way. But I'm not too fond of that option and honestly, I don't think it would have helped.

Now I'm actually a bit calmer after having written all this

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Last edited by Zafar Iqbal; 11-04-2013 at 12:34 AM. Reason: typos and stuff

[Sandy Hancock]

You have cured me of any desire to shoot weddings professionally. Thank you.

[Zafar Iqbal]

The experience hasn't scared me off but it has made me think about a thing or two I should add to my business-terms. I don't know how practical it would be or if it will be be scaring potential clients away. It's a tricky business to do business :/

When a wedding is good, even slightly, it feels really good to cover it.

[Digitalis]

Well there is a good list of good reasons to never do weddings.

I myself will never stoop to that level, I have a rather cynical view of marriage - mainly because of the 60% divorce rate amongst my friends...I know one friend from university who was 21 and already divorcee.

I come from a family of photographers - so no one ever bothers to hire a photographer because my family are on top of things in that regard. Though, there was one wedding in my family where there was a hired photographer (the bride's mother insisted on this) I felt sorry for the poor guy, because he was in amongst a crowd using some very high end gear - my mothers Leia M9, My Leica S2 and Ebony 8X10, my sisters D3s and my older brothers 1DsMkIII. None of us did anything to get in the way of the paid photographer - as we have all worked in a commercial capacity as a photographer at some point in our lives (I'm the only one in my family that has done it on a permanent basis). But I'll remember his parting words when he left after the reception - it was definitely a more intimidating experience for him as he is used to family members only using entry level DSLR cameras, P&S cams and camera-phones at events like that.

One of my colleagues charges $9000 to do a wedding - he charges so much because he knows no-one will ever hire him to do it.

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Last edited by Digitalis; 11-04-2013 at 01:31 AM.

[Rupert]

I myself will never stoop to that level, I have a rather cynical view of marriage - mainly because of the 60% divorce rate amongst my friends...I know one friend from university who was 21 and already divorcee.

Got you there, it is a sad statistic. I think it is going on near 48 years with Mrs Rupert, and I won't lie, some of them were the worst years of my life, and hers too no doubt. It is often easier to give up than to keep going forward, and most take the path of least resistance, which is perfectly human. Some people should stay single, it makes sense....I know some and it works for them.

However, there is a certain joy and comfort in being with the same person all those years. You have a bond that is undeniable, all those memories, all those good times....and the bad seem to fade away. As I sit her laid up with a broken foot, mostly immobile, I am thankful to have the help and company of someone that has been on the same road I've been on and is there in my time of need.

Not sure what Mrs Rupert is thinking about it.......but I bet she has the same thoughts.
[IMG] [/IMG]

Anyhow, to the subject of weddings. I've done a few. Tough work even when all goes well. The last wedding I shot was 6 hours of hard work....I don't intend to ever shoot another one! I had no problem with the guests, the mother of the bride was emphatic that everyone cooperate with the photographer....or get out! That was her words! ....and they did...cooperate!
As an old plumber, shooting a wedding is like going under a house to repair broken sewer lines. You know you are going to get dirty, frustrated, and mumble more than a few curse words, you just don't know how dirty?

Regards!

[johnyates]

Complete lack of respect - and I mean that literally.

You need to seriously RAISE your prices. Because people equate value with price. And obviously your work had no value to them.

[kcmadr]

. . . I have a rather cynical view of marriage - mainly because of the 60% divorce rate . . .

Don't let statistics spoil what it should be. Remember that most people want the wedding, the party, the dress, the attention, the honeymoon. But what they don't want is the marriage.

[Canada_Rockies]

Mrs. Albert and I celebrated our 48th last July 24th. I think that many moderns don't appreciate that there can be rough spots on any road, and when they find one, they cannot handle it.

As to wedding photography, I have done a few. I won't be doing any more. The people who think they have the right with their P&S or iPhone over the photographer that the principals have paid for are simply rude boors. I've met them, and I don't want that frustration, thank you very much.

[NicoleC]

Where was the wedding planner in all this? I can't imagine a halfway competent wedding planner not being sure the photos had every chance possible to be good.

[hks_kansei]

You need to seriously RAISE your prices. Because people equate value with price. And obviously your work had no value to them.

I doubt that's the case, the issues sound like they were more with the guests and video guy than they were with the bride and groom.

I doubt the guests etc had any idea whether the photographer charges $50, or $50,000.

[jpzk]

To the OP: I feel for you, man !

I am not a pro, in all senses of the word, by a long shot, but I just can't imagine being in your shoes when this type of aggression takes place, especially when you are supposed to be "in command" for the photo shoot.
Maybe you're too polite ? Too nice ?

Anyway, it's a good thing to vent out the frustration and maybe that is what you neded to do ...

On another note: I was once "selected" by a member of my immediate family as their "official" wedding photographer .... never again !
I'll leave that for the pro's, like yourself.

Cheers, and get back to work !

JP

[johnyates]

I doubt the guests etc had any idea whether the photographer charges $50, or $50,000.

If it was my wedding, and I was paying big bux for photography, you can rest assured that my guests would be made aware that their cooperation was mandatory. I would actively protect my investment.

[Ash]

Sometimes a photographer has to exercise a level of polite assertiveness to get the job done. From the point of view of the client, it seemed clear that your work was not critically important to him/her. Most would agree that the photography is one thing that a family takes away from the day that they can remember for the rest of their lives. If even the client doesn't consider that, then your job is less pressured. Don't take it out on yourself or get upset about the results. If you were doing the job for you, then you're leaving yourself open for major disappointments once in a while. It's not for you, it's for them. You just have to do the best you can and I'd be surprised if a client with that attitude would get upset over the results or make you have to justify why the photos aren't what were expected. Move on from this experience knowing there will be clients like this in the future that you may have to deal with but next time you won't get upset about it yourself.

[Zafar Iqbal]

Where was the wedding planner in all this? I can't imagine a halfway competent wedding planner not being sure the photos had every chance possible to be good.

If by wedding planner you mean the friend or family member who was responsible for organizing and taking care of different things, then that was the guy I was in contact with. I'm fully convinced he did what he could. He had his share of frustrations over guests and the venue, such as none of the staff knew their own sound system (seriously?).

The venue has existed for some years. I had already heard about it (nothing good, nothing bad. Just heard about it. I had also been to a wedding there 3 years ago, as a guest). The first thing I noticed when I arrived was the table arrangement which was done as if no one had ever tried or thought about such matters before. I insisted they change it (ordinarily I do not interfere, but it was that bad) and both I and the wedding planner agreed later in the evening, that it was a very very good thing I had it changed.

The person in charge at the venue was a dick from the very first moment I met him. As with any person who might have an important role, I introduced myself to him as well. Asked for a safe place to have my gear - he didn't have any but suggested I put them next to where the buffet was going to be - riiiight, as If I'm going to do that. I later asked for a place to eat in private because I don't eat amongst guests, he didn't have any, though there were plenty of rooms not being used, even a room used by employees to chill. Asked for a chair and was again told he didn't have any and instead suggested I should take some random guests chair (what!?) but this was a lie because I saw a whole bunch stacked up in a room.

Another thing I forgot to mention was that the cake was rolled to deliberately interfere with what was going on, so the venue could speed up things. I had just started with family photos by then, had done some smaller ones and was about to set up for the big one. I was later told it was the venue guy who forced it out, because he wanted the program to move on. The program at that point was just the cake and nothing else - I now know he just wanted to get home earlier that day. It annoyed me, but more importantly, the guests/family members in the group were annoyed. They wanted me to keep shooting but I refused because of the lack of distance. the saddest part is that this was the only moment when most people actually called out for me, to take photos - except for the very end thing, which doesn't count IMO.

My contact, the wedding planner, even asked me on his own, if he should have them take it back to the kitchen again, but the damage was already done, people had gathered around it. The group shots I was trying to do were just about 3 meters from it, and there weren't any other good spots to do these shots at.

[tuco]

Weddings are a lot of work these days with lots of competition and clientele expecting a lot for a little. Why would anyone what to get into that business. I'd rather just go and take pictures for myself and give away a few selected ones to the bride and groom.

The last wedding I was at they just asked friends that they knew who had decent cameras to come and take pictures. No pressure for results and they just accepted whatever you were willing to give them. It was easy and fun. I had time to party with the bridesmaids too.