Hmmm... I dont think you should let yourself drown in sorrow anymore, and forget both friendships. Let me elaborate with a longggggg story
Like many of the people who have given advice here, I am first and foremost an IT. As you can see from people's experiences here, whatever work related freebies you may and will ever give, wont probably compare to an IT:
-Almost facts: Each one of my friend has at *least* 1 computer, and most of them will not know how to fix them.
- Another fact: A computer will break down. Its just a question of when.
- Worst: It is entirely possible to get a barely functioning computer fixed by an IT, and then ended up with a part that needed replacement because otherwise it wont work ever again. What was seemingly a little request for a favour to fix a still working PC, becomes a tangible cost (because say, they had a virus. The anti - virus you introduced killed the operating system. The computer is way too old for you to find the original drivers for its components. The CD was thrown away. Solution : get new parts with new drivers), and suddently friends may get upset because they believed *you* were responsible for making their computer not working anymore.
See its all problematic
. I refrain from telling people Im IT, unless there is a working possibility. Or I tell them that those are not the kind of IT things I do (true), or I tell them all the caveats of trying to fix a computer and how long it may take, or I tell them how to do it, and let them learn by experience.
With the neighbour, not much can be said about her or to her that hasnt been said, not worth your time being upset about.
With the dentist, I think I may be upset at you too, if I thought we were friends and you tried to charge me for a favour without telling me first. However, you apologized, refunded me, and then I would start thinking....
- We were friends for some years.
- She is in between jobs, I am making good money, what is 7 dollars compared to our friendship?
- In fact, if she is in such a need for money she had to charge me the price of a McDonalds meal for her 3 hour session, maybe i should look into whether she needs more help...you know, cuz i am her good friend. (Note: Do they really, fully understand your financial situation? Or have you been putting icing on the crumbling cake?)
The thing is, they dont seem to consider your position. Here you are, still thinking about your friendship when they should be doing the same. If they are such good friends, are you sure they are just not feeling awkward because the grandpa emailed you that nasty letter? If you are
absolutely certain that there is actual animosity here, then i would say the friendship wasnt worth it.
I am sorry it took years to find out, but as you said yourself, they have never skimmed on charging you for their services. Dentist gets paid by insurance : did he ever open early for you, etc?
Yes, you were mistaken for trying to charge a fee for a service you offered yourself, however, if they were really good friends, i think they would be just as pained as you are right now, and would not be upset over such a meager amount of money.
I would just make one more effort to make sure that there isnt any misunderstanding here, that there is actual animosity...and if there is, i would move on, because then it demonstrates to me that they obviously did not think your friendship is worth working out a resolution.