Artsy Fartsy Art-Speak Generator

casil403 · 06-28-2011, 08:02 PM

An integral part of being a respectable artist is to have your artist statement be so confusing that you can’t even decipher what it means. If coming up with one of these statements requires more time or brainpower than you have on hand, then check out Instant Artist Statement, an online generator that authors a perfect statement on your behalf for you to paste all over your website, exhibitions, and portfolios.

Instant artist statement: Arty Bollocks Generator

Here's what came up when I hit the button!

"Lisa's work explores the relationship between postmodern discourse and emotional memories.
With influences as diverse as Blake and John Cage, new tensions are generated from both explicit and implicit meanings.
Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the traditional understanding of the human condition. What starts out as hope soon becomes debased into a tragedy of power, leaving only a sense of chaos and the possibility of a new beginning.
As shifting forms become frozen through boundaried and personal practice, the viewer is left with an impression of the possibilities of our future."

**Dma110** · 06-28-2011, 08:19 PM

I like it. I like it.
I always wondered where some art critics got their comments. Now I know.
Thanks for finding and sharing.

Mike Cash · 06-29-2011, 02:14 AM

No, thanks. I get enough of that stuff just from around here....to the point that I have developed an aversion to using the terms "photography" or "photographer".

TaoMaas · 06-29-2011, 05:45 AM

"Art-speak"...I love it! That's exactly what I call this kind of gibberish. When your statement is better than your art, you've got a problem.

RioRico · 06-29-2011, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by TaoMaas

"Art-speak"...I love it! That's exactly what I call this kind of gibberish. When your statement is better than your art, you've got a problem.

And the art world is very problematic, has been ever since modernismo. It may take another century or so to shake out of it. Ah well, writing is easier than doing.

I read an intriguing analysis about visual arts vs music in the past century. Classical music mostly rejected modernism, and is now sequestered in subsidized cloisters. Pop music has no connexion, and thrives. Opposite, the visual art (painting-print-sculpture-etc) establishment tried to stay aloof, then happily found that modern and post-modern stuff sells, and now dominates both 'serious' and pop markets without corporate-govt-church subsidies. And literature seems to follow the musical model: serious work languishes in subsidized academic ghettos and pop trash sells gazillions.

Gobbledygook can be written about the products and processes of either model, but the 'serious' forms seem to generate more. Maybe buyers expect more for their money than just straightforward presentation. Maybe the SUBSIDIZERS expect their money to buy 'sophisticated' explanations. This language is taught, y'know. I just pulled out an old textbook, WRITING THEMES ABOUT LITERATURE which includes cinema analysis. Much there could be directly paraphrased to write artist statements. "What is the theme of my life? Explain it." Toss in some PoMo jargon and it's a sure grant-winner.

06-28-2011, 08:02 PM	#1
casil403 Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Calgary AB Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,170	Artsy Fartsy Art-Speak Generator An integral part of being a respectable artist is to have your artist statement be so confusing that you can’t even decipher what it means. If coming up with one of these statements requires more time or brainpower than you have on hand, then check out Instant Artist Statement, an online generator that authors a perfect statement on your behalf for you to paste all over your website, exhibitions, and portfolios. Instant artist statement: Arty Bollocks Generator Here's what came up when I hit the button! "Lisa's work explores the relationship between postmodern discourse and emotional memories. With influences as diverse as Blake and John Cage, new tensions are generated from both explicit and implicit meanings. Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the traditional understanding of the human condition. What starts out as hope soon becomes debased into a tragedy of power, leaving only a sense of chaos and the possibility of a new beginning. As shifting forms become frozen through boundaried and personal practice, the viewer is left with an impression of the possibilities of our future."

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06-28-2011, 08:19 PM	#2
Dma110 Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Gilbert Arizona Posts: 559	I like it. I like it. I always wondered where some art critics got their comments. Now I know. Thanks for finding and sharing.

06-29-2011, 02:14 AM	#3
Mike Cash Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Japan Photos: Gallery Posts: 6,950	No, thanks. I get enough of that stuff just from around here....to the point that I have developed an aversion to using the terms "photography" or "photographer".

06-29-2011, 05:45 AM	#4
TaoMaas Pentaxian Join Date: May 2007 Location: Oklahoma City Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 3,574	"Art-speak"...I love it! That's exactly what I call this kind of gibberish. When your statement is better than your art, you've got a problem.

06-29-2011, 09:54 AM	#5
RioRico Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Limbo, California Posts: 11,263	Originally posted by TaoMaas "Art-speak"...I love it! That's exactly what I call this kind of gibberish. When your statement is better than your art, you've got a problem. And the art world is very problematic, has been ever since modernismo. It may take another century or so to shake out of it. Ah well, writing is easier than doing. I read an intriguing analysis about visual arts vs music in the past century. Classical music mostly rejected modernism, and is now sequestered in subsidized cloisters. Pop music has no connexion, and thrives. Opposite, the visual art (painting-print-sculpture-etc) establishment tried to stay aloof, then happily found that modern and post-modern stuff sells, and now dominates both 'serious' and pop markets without corporate-govt-church subsidies. And literature seems to follow the musical model: serious work languishes in subsidized academic ghettos and pop trash sells gazillions. Gobbledygook can be written about the products and processes of either model, but the 'serious' forms seem to generate more. Maybe buyers expect more for their money than just straightforward presentation. Maybe the SUBSIDIZERS expect their money to buy 'sophisticated' explanations. This language is taught, y'know. I just pulled out an old textbook, WRITING THEMES ABOUT LITERATURE which includes cinema analysis. Much there could be directly paraphrased to write artist statements. "What is the theme of my life? Explain it." Toss in some PoMo jargon and it's a sure grant-winner.