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12-09-2007, 04:06 PM   #1
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A joke I have to share

I don't mean to disrespect anyone, but thought this was funny.



A cowboy in Montana got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy said, "Having some problem with circle flies there, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies."

So the cowboy says, "Well, circle flies are common on ranches. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"

The cowboy says, "No, Sir. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."

The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing." and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the cowboy says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

12-09-2007, 04:11 PM   #2
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well done I have not heard that before and doubt there is any situation I could actually use that line with my outside voice
12-09-2007, 04:11 PM   #3
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Good one!
12-09-2007, 04:15 PM   #4
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The joke was a good one Stu! And Dave made me laugh just as much!!!

12-10-2007, 12:08 AM   #5
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That is indeed pretty funny, Stu. I wonder if I could get away with saying that the next time I'm stopped for a traffic ticket. Anyone want to place odds on the results?

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12-10-2007, 12:29 AM   #6
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I'm glad that everyone's enjoying it

I haven't been pulled over in over 10 years, and if this run keeps up I'll be too old to remember this joke
12-10-2007, 02:06 AM   #7
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The punch line was unexpected. Anyway, it's been a long time since I was last pulled over as well, even ignoring the time I've spent in Europe. However, there was a period in Washington State when I was getting tickets about once a week. Of course, I owned a fast looking car at the time (hood scoop, jack up rear, wide tires, side exhaust, etc). Interestingly, switching to a conservative van immediately ended the tickets even though I drove just as fast (none in the months afterwards).

When I later purchased a motorcycle, I was pulled over the very first time I left the driveway after coming home from the dealer, less than a block from the house. That officer ultimately did not write a ticket (a warning instead), but several others did follow in the months afterwards.

Here in Europe, I've only had one ticket (traffic camera) many years ago for being in the middle of an intersection while stuck in a traffic jam after the light changed. Thankfully (since I like to drive relatively fast), speeding tickets are rare here anyway.

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12-10-2007, 03:08 AM   #8
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But you're in Germany so you guys don't have any Speed Limits

I was stopped a few week ago, but not for speeding. It was just a routine trafic control so I decided not to insult the officer to get a ticket

12-10-2007, 04:31 AM   #9
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Actually, there are speed limits -- even on the autobahn, depending on the location. I think there are more now than when I lived there. I left in 1986, but had the opportunity last November to go back for 3 weeks. It was very exciting (and scary) to basically drive flat out. You were limited only by your horsepower and your nerve.
12-10-2007, 10:11 AM   #10
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When I rode sport bikes I only got 2 tickets, and one of the officers just liked pulling over anything that looked fast. I was going 5km under the limit in a rain storm.

It wasn't hard to win that one in court.

I'd love to drive the German autobahn in a FAST car some day, but don't know when I'll make it there.
12-10-2007, 10:33 AM   #11
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QuoteOriginally posted by Cloudy Wizzard Quote
But you're in Germany so you guys don't have any Speed Limits

Tom is correct in saying there are speed limits. Autobahns nearly always have speed limits near larger towns and cities, for example. There are also recommended speed limits elsewhere (typically 120kph/75mph), exceeding which could invalidate your auto insurance (you're on your own if you have an accident).

There are also speed limits based on the design and maintenance of your vehicle. In other words, you cannot race around in a beatup, poorly maintained, old jalopy, nor go faster than the intended design of your vehicle, tires, brakes, and so on.

There are also speed limits on how slowly you can drive on the autobahn, especially in the faster lanes. With many vehicles approaching speeds of 100mph or quicker in the fast lanes, slower vehicles are a real danger to safe traffic flow.

Trucks and vehicles pulling trailers have lower speed limits on the autobahn, and often restrictions on which lanes they can use. Drivers are also required to slow down in bad weather. And finally, there are clearly speed limits for lessor roads and within towns or cities.

I have a BMW sedan and typically drive at 120-130kph/75-80mph with the majority of traffic on the autobahn, but have exceeded that many times when in a hurry or have greater distances to cover. Nothing like crusing on the autobahn at 90-100mph on a summer evening with the air conditioning on or windows down with a good tune playing on the stereo. The few times I've taken the Peugeot scooter on the autobahn, it was driven at speeds around 105-110kph/65-70mph. The very fastest I've ever driven on the autobahn was a touch over 135mph with a BMW R100RT motorcycle owned several years ago.

stewart


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Last edited by stewart_photo; 01-27-2008 at 08:32 PM. Reason: belated spelling correction
12-10-2007, 12:31 PM   #12
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In the late 60's when I-80 was just getting completed across Wyoming - there was a story floating around about a sm*rt-as* in a Ferrari running over 100mph form West to East. The speed limit back in those days way 85mph and gas was 36 cents a gallon. (just for perspective). Well the story goes that this guy was pulled over and written up, he proceeded to "get back up to speed" and was clocked over 100 again. Well, he was outrunning the Ford LTD's used by the state patrol so they set up a road block in the middle of nowhere.
When the cops asked him to get out of the car - he "in his sm*rt-as*" way refused. Well the cops yanked him out from the car and arrested him for several things, the car was towed (or picked up with a fork lift - depending on the story) and impounded in some yard - miles from the interstate in a one horse town - which is where the guy was put up in the local one cell jail. During his meeting with the judge, three days later, he asked how the cops were able to get around his car - and the judge said "You can not out run Motorolla".

As for me I drive a 95 Eagle Talon TSI AWD (210 hp intercooled turbo, 5 speed manual etc.). Never been pulled over, the fastest I have been was 115mph (legally in Montanna before they put speed limits on). Freaked the wife out, so I slowed to 90mph in the corners I slowed to 80mph - It is a big state, but it goes by fast.

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12-11-2007, 01:35 AM   #13
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QuoteOriginally posted by stewart_photo Quote
Tom is correct in saying there are speed limits. Autobahns nearly always have speed limits near larger towns and cities, for example. There are also recommended speed limits elsewhere (typically 120kph/75mph), exceeding which could invalidate your auto insurance (you're on your own if you have an accident).
I knew, I was just trying to be funny

I didn't know about that insurance thing though and I wonder if many people do.
12-11-2007, 04:39 AM   #14
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QuoteOriginally posted by Cloudy Wizzard Quote
I knew, I was just trying to be funny

I didn't know about the insurance thing though and I wonder if many people do.
Actually, I did not know about the insurance thing either. I don't recall this being in effect when I lived in Germany (1976-1979 and 1983-1986). I worked for the US Army, but my vehicles were insured with a German company. A couple of the good things about driving there were that you stayed the he** out of the fast lanes unless you are passing someone, and once you did pass, you immediately moved back to the right hand lane. You might get run over if you didn't. Also, big trucks (think 18-wheelers) were not allowed on the autobahn from 6 pm Friday evening until 6 am Monday morning (think these times are right), because of all the weekend travel. We should think about this in the US.
12-11-2007, 08:12 AM   #15
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This thread has been offically Hi-Jacked It is a really funny joke
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