Something's missing?

lammie200 · 03-24-2012, 06:42 PM

Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for Brain

Halliburton Performs Reconstruction of Former VP

FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant today, but former President George W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain, hospital officials confirmed.

As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice President, Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr. Cheney’s circulatory system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion.

The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure “extremely invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it.”

A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full recovery, but that he was “somewhat disoriented” coming out of anesthesia: “When we asked him who the President of the United States was, he said, ‘Is it still me?’”

Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice President’s hospital, hanging a “Mission Accomplished” banner in Mr. Cheney’s room hours before the operation was completed.

audiobomber · 03-24-2012, 09:25 PM

LOL! Some zingers in there.

**grhazelton** · 03-28-2012, 09:25 AM

I guess I hadn't realized that Cheney had ever had a heart.

03-24-2012, 06:42 PM	#1
lammie200 Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: San Francisco Photos: Albums Posts: 1,033	Something's missing? Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for Brain Halliburton Performs Reconstruction of Former VP FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant today, but former President George W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain, hospital officials confirmed. As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice President, Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr. Cheney’s circulatory system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion. The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure “extremely invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it.” A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full recovery, but that he was “somewhat disoriented” coming out of anesthesia: “When we asked him who the President of the United States was, he said, ‘Is it still me?’” Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice President’s hospital, hanging a “Mission Accomplished” banner in Mr. Cheney’s room hours before the operation was completed.

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03-24-2012, 09:25 PM	#2
audiobomber Veteran Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sudbury, Ontario Photos: Albums Posts: 6,806	LOL! Some zingers in there.

03-28-2012, 09:25 AM	#3
grhazelton Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jonesboro, GA Photos: Albums Posts: 1,972	I guess I hadn't realized that Cheney had ever had a heart.