[daacon]

In the middle and worst part of winter there have been several posts by us Canadians and some of our northern US counterparts whining about the weather of late. I have supplied below a reference chart for those that may not be familiar with effect temperature has on us.


50°F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.

40°F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.

35°F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.

32°F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

20°F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.

15°F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.

0°F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

-10°F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.

-20°F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.

-40°F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.

-60°F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.

-80°F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-100°F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173°F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-297°F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460°F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500°F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

[Peter Zack]

Guess we'll never see -500!! That's fun Dave. Duplo is reading this and wondering what all the fuss is about. He's been shooting on the glacier for a couple of months now.

[Lowell Goudge]

Dave

First of all, I have to say as a Canadian, I am disappointed that you are not yet working in metric. It's been the official standard now for more than 30 years, and while those south of the 49th parallel still don't get it the rest of the world does.

from a scientific point of view, you should at least state that 0F is the coldest temperature of a saline solution, just to be consistent, since you do state water freezes at 32F.

You also missed another serious point, specifically 39F (the optimum serving temperature of beer)

As for the leafs, I was at their game saturday against buffalo, and if that is any indication, I think the real problem with the leafs is global warming, because with the present trend hell will never freeze over.

[daacon]

Dave

First of all, I have to say as a Canadian, I am disappointed that you are not yet working in metric. It's been the official standard now for more than 30 years, and while those south of the 49th parallel still don't get it the rest of the world does.
.

I apologize I am fluent in both having lived through the conversion period. I just pilfered this from the web obviously a US web site. About the only imperial calculation I still use is MPG the liters/100km just does not do it for me. I do prefer my weight in kg!

from a scientific point of view, you should at least state that 0F is the coldest temperature of a saline solution, just to be consistent, since you do state water freezes at 32F.
.

Again did not validate content just pilfered

You also missed another serious point, specifically 39F (the optimum serving temperature of beer)
.

That is a gross unforgivable omission on my part thanks for the update !

As for the leafs, I was at their game saturday against buffalo, and if that is any indication, I think the real problem with the leafs is global warming, because with the present trend hell will never freeze over.

Yeah the Oilers are doing sooooooo much better

[little laker]

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and touques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh." The devil is a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The other people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats and grilling sausage. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice." The devil is absolutely furious; finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens, but now they are jumping up and down, screaming and cheering. The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is it with you two???" The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

[m8o]

Daacon, lol! But regarding your last item @ -500, I guess you didn't read Dante's Inferno. The inner most circle of hell is already frozen over.

[Bramela]

Very interesting Dave.
Coming from "Down Under" the temperatures you mention are something I can't even relate to. 40degF is about our lowest where I am (7degC) and that is considered very cold.
If I experienced some of your weather I reckon I would be a basket case.
Watched the Packer/Giants game and noted a wind chill factor of -24deg !!!!!
Unbelievable.
I think I will go on just enjoying my sun/warm(average 70-85F at the moment). (sorry about that)

[Lowell Goudge]

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and touques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh." The devil is a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The other people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats and grilling sausage. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice." The devil is absolutely furious; finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens, but now they are jumping up and down, screaming and cheering. The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is it with you two???" The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

for all those who hope and pray that hell will soon freeze over, based upon what I saw saturday, it won't happen any time soon,

Maybe for all those outside North America, who may not know what the Stanley cup looks like. Someone could post a photo. It might also be good for us Torontonians since 1/2 the population are too young and were born after toronto last won and as a result have never seen it, and the the other 1/2 are too old and have forgotten what it looked like

[Lowell Goudge]

Very interesting Dave.
Coming from "Down Under" the temperatures you mention are something I can't even relate to. 40degF is about our lowest where I am (7degC) and that is considered very cold.
If I experienced some of your weather I reckon I would be a basket case.
Watched the Packer/Giants game and noted a wind chill factor of -24deg !!!!!
Unbelievable.
I think I will go on just enjoying my sun/warm(average 70-85F at the moment). (sorry about that)

Bruce

Maybe you can shed some light on a similar theme from down under. I appreciate you might not understand anything in degC with a - sign in front of it, but I'm sure you have similar list of key temperatures

[Jodokast96]

Maybe for all those outside North America, who may not know what the Stanley cup looks like. Someone could post a photo. It might also be good for us Torontonians since 1/2 the population are too young and were born after toronto last won and as a result have never seen it, and the the other 1/2 are too old and have forgotten what it looked like

Well, here's a link to a photo at any rate. http://endofbench.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/stanley_cup.jpg

[daacon]

And here is of a picture of the last time Hell froze over and the Leaf's held the Holy Grail

Stu Nice joke
Bruce I have not really experienced -500 but I have been in -53 degrees Celsius in the days I was a rig pig (Might have been colder that was a low as the thermometer went)

[Photo Tramp]

Well at least if they don't win the Stanley Cup, they still have a great sense of humor. And how dare you miss the temp at which beer is served. (you call yourself a Canadian)

Stu, I think the devil needs to become a Canadian.

[NaClH2O]

Thanks Dave, I needed to be reminded that it's colder other places! BTW I went to forestry school up in the Adirondaks of northern NY. There was a saying in Wanankena NY where the school was:
"Wanakena has two seasons...Winter and the 4th of July!"
I've never seen -53 (either C or F) but I have seen -35F which is about -38C.

NaCl(the fun starts when the snow finally melts...in April...and you finally find all the beer you stashed out in the snow drift just outside the kitchen door)H2O

[Bramela]

Hi Lowell Goudge, as you say a 'Down Under" slant on this theme.
(No where near as original as Dave's, but just to give an idea.)
Further south in Aus (Tas/Vic) members may disagree a little.

OdegC Aussies shiver uncontrollably. Cant believe it can get this cold

5degC Only the zealous outdoors type remain active. Year round swimmers continue
anyway!

15DegC Beach swimming for the hardy. Still some use of heater/AirCon

20DegC Normal winter. Short sleeves and shorts become the regular winter garb.

25DegC Great. Swimming and all outdoor activties in full swing.

30DegC Toss another shrimp on the barbie

35degC Consider switching on the Aircon. A few cold drinks

40degC Definitely have a swim/switch on AAirCon/No shirt/Stay out of sun middle of day.

40+degC Swelter/collapse in a lather of sweat/ drink anything constantly/ run up a
huge power bill with use of AirCon/Keep ceiling fan on in bedroom all night.

I haven't mention beer drinking because in Aus the weather and temp bears no influence on that. Its a year round activity.

[hooppjs]

Hi Lowell Goudge, as you say a 'Down Under" slant on this theme.
(No where near as original as Dave's, but just to give an idea.)
Further south in Aus (Tas/Vic) members may disagree a little.

OdegC Aussies shiver uncontrollably. Cant believe it can get this cold

5degC Only the zealous outdoors type remain active. Year round swimmers continue
anyway!

15DegC Beach swimming for the hardy. Still some use of heater/AirCon

20DegC Normal winter. Short sleeves and shorts become the regular winter garb.

25DegC Great. Swimming and all outdoor activties in full swing.

30DegC Toss another shrimp on the barbie

35degC Consider switching on the Aircon. A few cold drinks

40degC Definitely have a swim/switch on AAirCon/No shirt/Stay out of sun middle of day.

40+degC Swelter/collapse in a lather of sweat/ drink anything constantly/ run up a
huge power bill with use of AirCon/Keep ceiling fan on in bedroom all night.

I haven't mention beer drinking because in Aus the weather and temp bears no influence on that. Its a year round activity.

HI Bruce,
You forgot that somewhere between 24c and 28c, seasoned Darwinites reach for their jumpers!

Peter