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09-13-2013, 07:23 PM   #16
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Not so unusual around my area to hear sir, so it is not unusual to see it here on PF occasionally. In Texas we use a lot of words that are not common elsewhere...even offensive in some places. If you were here and for some reason I needed to address you it might go like this......."Pardon me, Missy....." Not offensive here to a native, but might be to a foreigner.

You can always come visit the real Lounge here at PF. We don't go for sir or madam or other formalities, we do cuss a lot, drink even more, lie and cheat, steal liquor from the liquor cabinet when we can, and entertain ourselves with naked dancing girls every so often...when we can find some that will tolerate the cigar smoke.

Regards!

09-13-2013, 07:24 PM   #17
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QuoteOriginally posted by MetteHHH Quote
Maybe I'm just being overly Scandinavian here. Or overly female.

I just feel SO puzzled, when forum users in the threads I follow begin adressing each other "sir"! "Well put, sir" "A genuinely brilliant statement, sir" etc. I feel somehow transported to a lounge full of Victorian gentlemen. Is this an American trend in online communication? Is it just that I have frequented less high-society fora up until now?

Anyway, I wonder when someone will resort to calling ME "sir", since my gender might not be apparent to most foreigners based on my name...
I don't know about other posters... but some people do it in polite jest. Not 'mocking' in a bad way... but more like having fun in a polite way... kind of mockingly saying 'good day sir'....but imagine it being done in a fake British accent.

I wouldn't take it too seriously.

Also in the South where I am at (in rural Texas) you call everyone Sir (or Ma'am). It is THE respectful way to talk to people. Plain, simple, just do it. Buy a soda at the mini mart... the guy at the register rings up your stuff and you leave and say 'thank you sir'... at least I do... and most other people I know do as well.

It's not a bad thing at all. It's a mark of respect and kindness.

I personally think it's awesome that we have people on the forum from so many different places...and different cultures.
09-13-2013, 10:42 PM   #18
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QuoteOriginally posted by MetteHHH Quote
Maybe I'm just being overly Scandinavian here. Or overly female.

I just feel SO puzzled, when forum users in the threads I follow begin adressing each other "sir"! "Well put, sir" "A genuinely brilliant statement, sir" etc. I feel somehow transported to a lounge full of Victorian gentlemen. Is this an American trend in online communication? Is it just that I have frequented less high-society fora up until now?

Anyway, I wonder when someone will resort to calling ME "sir", since my gender might not be apparent to most foreigners based on my name...

Assumptions of gender and double-edged respect aside, ....if no one's pointed this out, in America there is a tradition of 'Sir' and 'Ma'am' as polite address for everyone that goes back a long ways, because we're all free people and citizens. (It's also why the formal title of our head of state is simply 'Mr. President' on George Washington's insistence. ) Despite the origins, it's more like how everyone in a free Japan is your-name-san. Even if that was once reserved for the equestirian class.


(Also Rupert and Alamo point out that Texans think they're the only ones who say 'Sir and Ma'am,' And also seem oblivious to the fact that 'Missy' is insulting, (A way of calling a female a child with implications of being spoiled: as in it's *condescending at best, * as in, 'Listen here, Missy.' ) and 'Miss' doesn't get flattering till you turn 40 or so. )

I should also add that as a police brat from the Northeast, prefacing something with 'Sir' or Ma'am' is also the etiquette if you happen to be carrying a badge or government job of *any* kind, (And this carries over to any public service job, even commercial, often) even if it's like, 'Sir, this is just for our safety, but I'm going to have to ask you to raise your hands slowly and ....yadda yadda.' It's courtesy and professionalism, and once, people realized this was about keeping this a Republic of equals, not some pretense. (That's why in America, the convention is often to say 'Sir or Ma'am' in particularly-contentious circumstances, since this supposedly is a reminder that we're all supposed to be the equals of any 'noble' in a free country. Few know this better than ol' punkers like me, too. )

Last edited by Ratmagiclady; 09-13-2013 at 11:11 PM.
09-13-2013, 11:00 PM   #19
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QuoteOriginally posted by MetteHHH Quote
Maybe I'm just being overly Scandinavian here. Or overly female.

I just feel SO puzzled, when forum users in the threads I follow begin adressing each other "sir"! "Well put, sir" "A genuinely brilliant statement, sir" etc. I feel somehow transported to a lounge full of Victorian gentlemen. Is this an American trend in online communication? Is it just that I have frequented less high-society fora up until now?

Anyway, I wonder when someone will resort to calling ME "sir", since my gender might not be apparent to most foreigners based on my name...
Your first post reminds me of certain students we have who address all teaching staff in email as "Dear respected sir", regardless of whether the addressee is masculine or feminine. That led me to come back with the line: "If you really respect sir you will bother to find out sir's correct title and name". For the record, I found "DRS" disrespectful, and I am male.

09-13-2013, 11:10 PM   #20
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QuoteOriginally posted by alamo5000 Quote
I don't know about other posters... but some people do it in polite jest. Not 'mocking' in a bad way... but more like having fun in a polite way... kind of mockingly saying 'good day sir'....but imagine it being done in a fake British accent.

I wouldn't take it too seriously.

Also in the South where I am at (in rural Texas) you call everyone Sir (or Ma'am). It is THE respectful way to talk to people. Plain, simple, just do it. Buy a soda at the mini mart... the guy at the register rings up your stuff and you leave and say 'thank you sir'... at least I do... and most other people I know do as well.

It's not a bad thing at all. It's a mark of respect and kindness.

I personally think it's awesome that we have people on the forum from so many different places...and different cultures.
English is curious:
We call an ordinary man "sir" as a mark of respect, but if we called a knight of the realm "sir" rather than properly as "sir Richard" it would be rude. Similarly, Englishmen will call their boss "Guv" to the bosses face (See the show "The Bill") but if I called the governor "Guv" it would be considered the height of disrespect.

And that is before we get onto the nomeclature of toilets which is contrary to other usages. See the paradox: who would want a "disabled toilet", as in one we had made to not work?

And men use "male toilets" and women use "female toilets" but in every other usage such as "male thread" and "female thread" the thing named "male" complements the "female" of its partnering entity. So for consistency of language men should use the "female toilet" and women the "male toilet". and that would confuse poor foreigners learning English even more than they already are and would be harder than for me to know in NZ not to use the toilet with "wahine" on the door.
09-14-2013, 12:32 AM   #21
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Aprepo nothing in this thread I once saw a sign on a door in a hospital in South Africa which said " Do not use . Ths door is a figment of your imagination"

It did not say it read !
09-14-2013, 04:34 AM   #22
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QuoteOriginally posted by ivanvernon Quote
If an occasional incongruity of gender and title is of concern, you might consider informing others of your gender to assure that none of us fail to address you in an appropriate manner, or perhaps indicate in your Signature that you are of female gender.
QuoteOriginally posted by tclausen Quote
In fairness, the gender of the OP /is/ fairly unambiguous from her nick/handle.....
But my dear sirs! I am not in the least concerned, I was just puzzled by the unfamiliarity of the address outside(very) formal circles!

Anyway, I love cultural diversity, and I love experiencing it - travelling or surfing. I've been called "Duck" in the UK and taken no offence what so ever. I'm hard to offend in general, I just found it funny!

And as for the ambiguity of my nick/handle, as I said I was raised by long-haired hippies of indeterminate gender, so I'm conditioned I suppose!

I like the tone here in PF, actually. And I appreciate your politeness, gentle mockery and humour.


Last edited by MetteHHH; 09-14-2013 at 04:35 AM. Reason: More typos!
09-14-2013, 05:54 AM   #23
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QuoteOriginally posted by MetteHHH Quote
But my dear sirs! I am not in the least concerned, I was just puzzled by the unfamiliarity of the address outside(very) formal circles!

Anyway, I love cultural diversity, and I love experiencing it - travelling or surfing. I've been called "Duck" in the UK and taken no offence what so ever. I'm hard to offend in general, I just found it funny!

And as for the ambiguity of my nick/handle, as I said I was raised by long-haired hippies of indeterminate gender, so I'm conditioned I suppose!

I like the tone here in PF, actually. And I appreciate your politeness, gentle mockery and humour.
So, from where in Denmark did you hail? "Long-haired hippies of indeterminate gender" makes me think either Tvind or Christiania....
09-14-2013, 08:52 AM   #24
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Alright, I grew up in the country side, in a rather traditional village in Jutland, and my parents actually cut their hair... I just wanted to stress the environmental difference - and hey, some of my primary school teachers DID fit the description. Anyways, my grand mother lived within smell-the-weed range of the Frøstrup camp (although, admittedly, she did not approve much) :-)
09-14-2013, 09:21 AM   #25
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This has to be a first - someone complaining about too much politeness on an internet forum.

Mostly, it's a way to add emphasis that one likes something someone said or wrote about. Its not irony (what a buzz kill) usually.

09-14-2013, 11:29 AM - 1 Like   #26
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(OK, let's see what I have learned then. I'll give it my best shot!)

Your attention please, good sirs and/or Madames/Madams/Ma'ams!

Dear, esteemed fellow board residents of most respected genders, ages and nationalities!

If I have in any way indicated that your most commendable conduct and praiseworthy politeness was, in any way what so ever, offensive to me, I do beg of you to forgive my lack of eloquence!
I hope that heaven holds forgiveness for such rudeness and lack of proper upbringing! It is with humble and heartfelt respect and admiration that I strive to learn from your most estimated mastery of etiquette. I began this thread out of bemusement and curiousity, and did not imagine that it would be taken as a complaint, or any indication of having taken offence. Please bear with me, since I am but a foreigner from a far, cold and uncouth country.

Your humble servant, today and always,
Mette


Last edited by MetteHHH; 09-14-2013 at 11:31 AM. Reason: even more typos!
09-14-2013, 11:47 AM   #27
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Me thinks this Mette doth protest to much, but her eloquence and verbosity is to be applauded,

Verily Madam your very presence here doth lend a pleasant air to our discourse.
09-14-2013, 11:48 AM   #28
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09-14-2013, 12:37 PM   #29
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Beautifully worded Mette, in a most classical way.

Down here in Australia it's ; "G'day, mate!" "How ya goin' mate." or "How's things, ya old bludger." and many more connotations along the same line.
09-14-2013, 01:31 PM   #30
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QuoteOriginally posted by Ratmagiclady Quote
(Also Rupert and Alamo point out that Texans think they're the only ones who say 'Sir and Ma'am,' And also seem oblivious to the fact that 'Missy' is insulting, (A way of calling a female a child with implications of being spoiled: as in it's *condescending at best, * as in, 'Listen here, Missy.' ) and 'Miss' doesn't get flattering till you turn 40 or so.
May be?....but just yesterday I delivered a few boxes of fine chocolate, something I am known around here for doing quite often, to a couple of middle age women that run the Beauty Shop next to my old studio. I do point out that they are lying about their ages, can't be a day over 29.....

"Looky here Missy, looks like you have a box of chocolates!"

Never have had a complaint, maybe it all depends on the context of the greeting...... you think Ratlady?

Regards!

BTW- They are pretty spoiled, and I did the spoiling! A years worth of chocolate on every Tuesday and Thursday will do that!
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