Life in the 21st Century - too bad it has to be this way.

Dewman · 07-20-2014, 11:42 AM - **5 Likes**

A couple of weeks ago, I heard a very familiar soft knock at my door. It was two of my little neighborhood friends, Angel and Lila.

Angel announced, "Hi Dewey, we thought we'd come over and visit for a while."

I was kinda' shocked by her words. It was very heart-warming to think that they thought enough of me to come and "visit," but I wasn't about to invite them into my home, unaccompanied. (I'm single and live alone) So, I told them I was pretty busy at the moment and perhaps my little dog, Buckwheat, and I would come out later, then we could visit. I would have loved to invite them inside and rounded up some cookies and a cold glass of milk, but in today's world, you just can't do such things. What a shame one has to be so standoffish and reserved, but such is life in the 21st century. Hell, I was even cautious NOT to take too many pictures of the little kids during the neighborhood 4th of July celebration for fear of being labeled as the lecherous old man down the street.

True to my word, an hour or so later, after seeing the two with their little red wagon, Buckwheat and I went outside and we visited for a while. They love my dog, and he, them. Seeing a great photo op, I had the two girls sit in their wagon and placed Buckwheat in between them and got a wonderful shot of the three of them. It was, as they say, "Suitable for framing." I went to both parents, who are good friends of mine, and told them of the photograph and I emailed it to both. They were very appreciative and thanked me.

I love children. Always have. Their innocence is wonderful and it's often a welcomed respite after dealing with ornery adults all day long. But, in today's society, you've got to be very cautious about your interaction with them. So, I'll just continue to be the kind, friendly WISE old man down the street and hopefully, some day they'll look back on their childhood and fondly remember me for the man I was.

Dewman
SW Idaho

Last edited by Dewman; 12-16-2014 at 01:22 AM.

foto guy · 07-20-2014, 08:30 PM

I hear ya. It's sad.

MD Optofonik · 07-20-2014, 09:56 PM

Yup. I remember as a little kid in the late 60's early 70's when strangers were strange and neighbors were neighborly.

That "whole village to raise a single child" mentality prevailed were I was. I lived in Miami when I was a little kid, in "Little Havana", and most of the neighbors were Cuban expats that had been welcomed by the U.S. after the revolution. They brought with them the idea that the neighborhood as a whole had a responsibility to watch out for the kids around them. It was not uncommon to be playing (we just played we didn't have "play dates") at a neighbor's and being invited to stay for dinner just because you were there (and it gave ' various rents some alone time when the kids weren't going to be home for dinner). I believe the term was "community".

johnyates · 07-20-2014, 10:21 PM

I'm thinking of Henri Cartier Bresson--so many of his iconic images are of children. Were he alive and photographing today he wouldn't dare attempt to make the kind of shots that made him famous else he be persecuted.

https://www.google.ca/search?q=henri+cartier+bresson+children&num=100&newwin...w=1277&bih=836

adwb · 07-20-2014, 11:42 PM

The other sad thing about this that it won't be that many years till we reach a point where no one remembers these times and the isolationist, constant fear, way of living is regarded by all as the norm and that's how it's always been.

reeftool · 07-21-2014, 07:46 AM - **1 Like**

Back in the days of my childhood, we left the house on summer mornings with the instructions to be home by dinner, which was 6:00 at our house. We played in the woods, swam at the beach, played baseball just about anywhere there was room. We also knew all the "old people" around and regularly made our rounds for the daily snacks. I had one elderly neighbor who was quite good at putting my bicycle back into working order. Nobody knew where we were but we never seemed to get away with anything either. The neighbors were our safety net, not people to be feared. Unfortunately, I think those days are gone. A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way.

cali92rs · 07-21-2014, 08:02 AM

Another interesting part of your story Dewey is that there were girls walking around the neighborhood instead of in front of a computer or on their phones.

Ironic that with all the ways we have for instant communication and staying in touch, it is actually making us as a society MORE socially inept.

adwb · 07-21-2014, 08:33 AM

What I don't understand is why there are ,if indeed there really are, so many weirdos about that to quote reeftool". A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way."

Are there really more nasty men about or are we just now better at finding and catching them?

Is it all the fault of the porn on the internet?

I sometimes wonder if it really is as bad or dangerous out there as it is made put to be?

I accept that inner cities with the drugs problems are not what they were but there always was in some areas of any city that were violent and full of drunks yet kids grew up there with out being constantly molested.

Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ?
Or
Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard?

As a 65 year photographer I too am painfully aware of not pointing a lens at a child and it continually makes me sad that so many happy moments are no longer captured and shared

cali92rs · 07-21-2014, 09:02 AM

Originally posted by adwb

Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ?
Or
Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard?

As a new parent of a 6 month old baby, I am not willing to find out which is true and will error on the side of caution when he is old enough to roam the neighborhood.

reeftool · 07-21-2014, 10:03 AM

Originally posted by adwb

What I don't understand is why there are ,if indeed there really are, so many weirdos about that to quote reeftool". A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way."

Are there really more nasty men about or are we just now better at finding and catching them?

Is it all the fault of the porn on the internet?

I sometimes wonder if it really is as bad or dangerous out there as it is made put to be?

I accept that inner cities with the drugs problems are not what they were but there always was in some areas of any city that were violent and full of drunks yet kids grew up there with out being constantly molested.

Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ?
Or
Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard?

As a 65 year photographer I too am painfully aware of not pointing a lens at a child and it continually makes me sad that so many happy moments are no longer captured and shared

I'm not really sure if it's true there are more whackos out there or just the perception that there is. Back in the 50's and 60's, a lot of things were covered up.

**ChrisPlatt** · 07-21-2014, 10:34 AM

World Becoming Less Violent: Despite Global Conflict, Statistics Show Violence In Steady Decline

Chris

condor27596 · 07-22-2014, 03:51 PM

Times changed.
I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends.

What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison.
I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now.

I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself
Will this send me to prison?
Will this effect my custody?

Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought.

reeftool · 07-22-2014, 06:03 PM

Originally posted by condor27596

Times changed.
I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends.

What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison.
I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now.

I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself
Will this send me to prison?
Will this effect my custody?

Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought.

You are right there. I read about parents getting in trouble just for leaving the kids alone in the house and I'm not talking about toddlers but early teens. I came home from school and did as I pleased until my folks came home at 6. They both worked. That is not tolerated today.

**monochrome** · 07-22-2014, 06:27 PM

Originally posted by condor27596

Times changed.
I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends.

What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison.
I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now.

I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself
Will this send me to prison?
Will this effect my custody?

Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought.

Can't find the link - read this Friday.

Some poor single mother in Indiana was just arrested for allowing her 11 year old daughter to go alone to the park to play. Nosy parent asked where her mother was. When the child said, "At home'" the busybody cell-phoned the Police.

Charged with child endangerment. Daughter is now 'in the system.'

MD Optofonik · 07-23-2014, 05:31 PM

Originally posted by condor27596

Times changed.
I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends.

What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison.
I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now.

I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself
Will this send me to prison?
Will this effect my custody?

Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought.

It's not "free range" but...

BBC News - 'Junk' playground The Land, Wrexham inspires US guests

07-20-2014, 11:42 AM - 5 Likes	#1
Dewman Veteran Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Idaho Posts: 5,492	Life in the 21st Century - too bad it has to be this way. A couple of weeks ago, I heard a very familiar soft knock at my door. It was two of my little neighborhood friends, Angel and Lila. Angel announced, "Hi Dewey, we thought we'd come over and visit for a while." I was kinda' shocked by her words. It was very heart-warming to think that they thought enough of me to come and "visit," but I wasn't about to invite them into my home, unaccompanied. (I'm single and live alone) So, I told them I was pretty busy at the moment and perhaps my little dog, Buckwheat, and I would come out later, then we could visit. I would have loved to invite them inside and rounded up some cookies and a cold glass of milk, but in today's world, you just can't do such things. What a shame one has to be so standoffish and reserved, but such is life in the 21st century. Hell, I was even cautious NOT to take too many pictures of the little kids during the neighborhood 4th of July celebration for fear of being labeled as the lecherous old man down the street. True to my word, an hour or so later, after seeing the two with their little red wagon, Buckwheat and I went outside and we visited for a while. They love my dog, and he, them. Seeing a great photo op, I had the two girls sit in their wagon and placed Buckwheat in between them and got a wonderful shot of the three of them. It was, as they say, "Suitable for framing." I went to both parents, who are good friends of mine, and told them of the photograph and I emailed it to both. They were very appreciative and thanked me. I love children. Always have. Their innocence is wonderful and it's often a welcomed respite after dealing with ornery adults all day long. But, in today's society, you've got to be very cautious about your interaction with them. So, I'll just continue to be the kind, friendly WISE old man down the street and hopefully, some day they'll look back on their childhood and fondly remember me for the man I was. Dewman SW Idaho Last edited by Dewman; 12-16-2014 at 01:22 AM.

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07-20-2014, 08:30 PM	#2
foto guy Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Vernon, Connecticut Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 292	I hear ya. It's sad.

07-20-2014, 09:56 PM	#3
MD Optofonik Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: California Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 962	Yup. I remember as a little kid in the late 60's early 70's when strangers were strange and neighbors were neighborly. That "whole village to raise a single child" mentality prevailed were I was. I lived in Miami when I was a little kid, in "Little Havana", and most of the neighbors were Cuban expats that had been welcomed by the U.S. after the revolution. They brought with them the idea that the neighborhood as a whole had a responsibility to watch out for the kids around them. It was not uncommon to be playing (we just played we didn't have "play dates") at a neighbor's and being invited to stay for dinner just because you were there (and it gave ' various rents some alone time when the kids weren't going to be home for dinner). I believe the term was "community".

07-20-2014, 10:21 PM	#4
johnyates Pentaxian Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Saskatoon, SK Photos: Albums Posts: 1,345	I'm thinking of Henri Cartier Bresson--so many of his iconic images are of children. Were he alive and photographing today he wouldn't dare attempt to make the kind of shots that made him famous else he be persecuted. https://www.google.ca/search?q=henri+cartier+bresson+children&num=100&newwin...w=1277&bih=836

07-20-2014, 11:42 PM	#5
adwb Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Bristol UK Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,636	The other sad thing about this that it won't be that many years till we reach a point where no one remembers these times and the isolationist, constant fear, way of living is regarded by all as the norm and that's how it's always been.

07-21-2014, 07:46 AM - 1 Like	#6
reeftool Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Upstate New York Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 9,555	Back in the days of my childhood, we left the house on summer mornings with the instructions to be home by dinner, which was 6:00 at our house. We played in the woods, swam at the beach, played baseball just about anywhere there was room. We also knew all the "old people" around and regularly made our rounds for the daily snacks. I had one elderly neighbor who was quite good at putting my bicycle back into working order. Nobody knew where we were but we never seemed to get away with anything either. The neighbors were our safety net, not people to be feared. Unfortunately, I think those days are gone. A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way.

07-21-2014, 08:02 AM	#7
cali92rs Veteran Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 3,354	Another interesting part of your story Dewey is that there were girls walking around the neighborhood instead of in front of a computer or on their phones. Ironic that with all the ways we have for instant communication and staying in touch, it is actually making us as a society MORE socially inept.

07-21-2014, 08:33 AM	#8
adwb Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Bristol UK Photos: Gallery Posts: 1,636	What I don't understand is why there are ,if indeed there really are, so many weirdos about that to quote reeftool". A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way." Are there really more nasty men about or are we just now better at finding and catching them? Is it all the fault of the porn on the internet? I sometimes wonder if it really is as bad or dangerous out there as it is made put to be? I accept that inner cities with the drugs problems are not what they were but there always was in some areas of any city that were violent and full of drunks yet kids grew up there with out being constantly molested. Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ? Or Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard? As a 65 year photographer I too am painfully aware of not pointing a lens at a child and it continually makes me sad that so many happy moments are no longer captured and shared

07-21-2014, 09:02 AM	#9
cali92rs Veteran Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 3,354	Originally posted by adwb Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ? Or Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard? As a new parent of a 6 month old baby, I am not willing to find out which is true and will error on the side of caution when he is old enough to roam the neighborhood.

07-21-2014, 10:03 AM	#10
reeftool Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Upstate New York Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 9,555	Originally posted by adwb What I don't understand is why there are ,if indeed there really are, so many weirdos about that to quote reeftool". A good parent today teaches their kids to be wary and suspicious and to trust nobody. It's sad but it also has to be that way." Are there really more nasty men about or are we just now better at finding and catching them? Is it all the fault of the porn on the internet? I sometimes wonder if it really is as bad or dangerous out there as it is made put to be? I accept that inner cities with the drugs problems are not what they were but there always was in some areas of any city that were violent and full of drunks yet kids grew up there with out being constantly molested. Rural areas and small towns were completely different and a lot safer, but are we now saying that something has so corrupted society so badly that in every small town there will be a child molester ? Or Have parents been conditioned into a form of paranoia about their children's safety when playing anywhere out side of the back yard? As a 65 year photographer I too am painfully aware of not pointing a lens at a child and it continually makes me sad that so many happy moments are no longer captured and shared I'm not really sure if it's true there are more whackos out there or just the perception that there is. Back in the 50's and 60's, a lot of things were covered up.

07-21-2014, 10:34 AM	#11
ChrisPlatt Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Rockaway Beach NYC Posts: 7,696	World Becoming Less Violent: Despite Global Conflict, Statistics Show Violence In Steady Decline Chris

07-22-2014, 03:51 PM	#12
condor27596 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Raleigh, NC, USA Posts: 870	Times changed. I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends. What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison. I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now. I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself Will this send me to prison? Will this effect my custody? Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought.

07-22-2014, 06:03 PM	#13
reeftool Pentaxian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Upstate New York Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 9,555	Originally posted by condor27596 Times changed. I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends. What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison. I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now. I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself Will this send me to prison? Will this effect my custody? Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought. You are right there. I read about parents getting in trouble just for leaving the kids alone in the house and I'm not talking about toddlers but early teens. I came home from school and did as I pleased until my folks came home at 6. They both worked. That is not tolerated today.

07-22-2014, 06:27 PM	#14
monochrome Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Working From Home Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 26,276	Originally posted by condor27596 Times changed. I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends. What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison. I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now. I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself Will this send me to prison? Will this effect my custody? Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought. Can't find the link - read this Friday. Some poor single mother in Indiana was just arrested for allowing her 11 year old daughter to go alone to the park to play. Nosy parent asked where her mother was. When the child said, "At home'" the busybody cell-phoned the Police. Charged with child endangerment. Daughter is now 'in the system.'

07-23-2014, 05:31 PM	#15
MD Optofonik Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: California Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 962	Originally posted by condor27596 Times changed. I rode my bike or walked 1.05 miles to school 1-5. After doing my chores which included hoeing a 2 acre garden a mile away I disappeared until well after dark with my friends. What changed? Well first, if you are a parent and something happens to your child there is a good chance YOU will go to prison. I think also we became a more transitory society. I lived in the same place grades 1-12. That is hard to do now. I don't have all the answers. But I can say when I make a decision, I ask myself Will this send me to prison? Will this effect my custody? Kids can't free range anymore. It is the parents that will go to prison. <-- my main thought. It's not "free range" but... BBC News - 'Junk' playground The Land, Wrexham inspires US guests