Win a Pentax Limited Lens: Raffle Now Live!

MarkJerling · 10-24-2019, 06:46 PM - **7 Likes**

There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.

Another Saturday night came around. At about 7 pm., there was a knock on the door. He answered and the young man said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. I'm taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?" The farmer thought he was a clever boy and wished them a good time.

A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second boy appeared and said, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. I'm taking her for spaghetti. I hope she's ready." He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes.

A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard. "Hi, I'm Chuck..."

MarkJerling · 10-24-2019, 06:48 PM - **6 Likes**

One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal barge goes down to speak to the slaves in the hold of his ship. "Men, I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is, the Queen will be joining us today for a trip up the Nile." The men cheered and rattled their chains.
"The bad news is, she wants to go water skiing."

Racer X 69 · 10-25-2019, 06:31 AM

Originally posted by timb64

My wife asked me for a match.I replied Your face,my ass!

That doesn't say much for your choice of woman as a partner . . . . .

timb64 · 10-25-2019, 11:20 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

That doesn't say much for your choice of woman as a partner . . . . .

.....her father owns a brewery,she’s a great cook and her hearts in the right place

Racer X 69 · 10-25-2019, 11:46 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by timb64

.....her father owns a brewery,she’s a great cook and her hearts in the right place

Reminds me of a joke from the "want ads".

Wanted: Good Woman: Must Be Able To Clean, Cook, Sew, Dig Worms And Clean Fish. Must Have Boat And Motor. Please Send Pictures Of Boat And Motor.

lesmore49 · 10-25-2019, 02:06 PM

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Reminds me of a joke from the "want ads".

Wanted: Good Woman: Must Be Able To Clean, Cook, Sew, Dig Worms And Clean Fish. Must Have Boat And Motor. Please Send Pictures Of Boat And Motor.

They had that 'advert' tacked on the fisherman's wall of fame at the fishing store I used to frequent. There were pics of guys holding their latest catch of the day, Pike, Pickerel (some areas call walleye), Channel Cat, etc...and this one advert. I thought it was funny....and among diehard fishermen....maybe not so far from the truth.

**Riggomatic** · 10-25-2019, 03:24 PM - **3 Likes**

What's green and has wheels?

Grass..... I lied about the wheels.

---------- Post added 10-25-19 at 06:25 PM ----------

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.

jack002 · 10-25-2019, 03:35 PM - **2 Likes**

I once broke up with the owner of a brewery, but I loved her still.

Racer X 69 · 10-25-2019, 05:02 PM - **4 Likes**

What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour?

................

........................................

..........................................................

............................................................................ A frog in a blender.

torashi · 10-25-2019, 05:45 PM - **6 Likes**

Originally posted by Riggomatic

What's green and has wheels?

Grass..... I lied about the wheels.

---------- Post added 10-25-19 at 06:25 PM ----------

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.

What's green and has teeth?

The rugby field.

**ehrwien** · 10-27-2019, 01:53 PM - **4 Likes**

Originally posted by Riggomatic

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea. What do you call it?

Originally posted by Riggomatic

A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.

Nice twist on a classic

Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks? Because with great power comes great response ability! Nah, just kidding... he found them on the web!

The wife and I decided we don't want children. We're telling them tomorrow.

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed for 75 cents a day. Which is nothing... compared to the cost of sending him there.

jack002 · 10-28-2019, 01:11 PM - **4 Likes**

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSH

DasKaltblut · 10-28-2019, 01:16 PM

This is still a joke?

Originally posted by Racer X 69

What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour?

................

........................................

..........................................................

............................................................................ A frog in a blender.

Racer X 69 · 10-28-2019, 01:27 PM

Originally posted by DasKaltblut

This is still a joke?

It was when my kid brother (10 years my junior) told it to me when he was in grade school.

**StiffLegged** · 10-28-2019, 02:19 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour?

........... A frog in a blender.

The way I heard it was :- What goes from green to red at the flick of a switch?

but that was a long, long time ago.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Where is the annual Pentax FF April fool joke?	LFLee	Pentax Full Frame	27	04-04-2014 03:48 AM
Misc Batman : The Killing Joke	6BQ5	Post Your Photos!	7	02-24-2014 01:58 PM
Joke Thread!	Gooshin	General Talk	327	10-23-2012 08:59 PM
Political Joke Thread	Parallax	General Talk	42	04-20-2012 06:42 AM

10-24-2019, 06:46 PM - 7 Likes	#1621
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them. Another Saturday night came around. At about 7 pm., there was a knock on the door. He answered and the young man said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. I'm taking her to the show. Is she ready to go?" The farmer thought he was a clever boy and wished them a good time. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second boy appeared and said, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty. I'm taking her for spaghetti. I hope she's ready." He thought that he must know Joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes. A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard. "Hi, I'm Chuck..."

10-24-2019, 06:48 PM - 6 Likes	#1622
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal barge goes down to speak to the slaves in the hold of his ship. "Men, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, the Queen will be joining us today for a trip up the Nile." The men cheered and rattled their chains. "The bad news is, she wants to go water skiing."

10-25-2019, 06:31 AM	#1623
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,077	Originally posted by timb64 My wife asked me for a match.I replied Your face,my ass! That doesn't say much for your choice of woman as a partner . . . . .

10-25-2019, 11:20 AM - 3 Likes	#1624
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,514	Originally posted by Racer X 69 That doesn't say much for your choice of woman as a partner . . . . . .....her father owns a brewery,she’s a great cook and her hearts in the right place

10-25-2019, 11:46 AM - 3 Likes	#1625
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,077	Originally posted by timb64 .....her father owns a brewery,she’s a great cook and her hearts in the right place Reminds me of a joke from the "want ads". Wanted: Good Woman: Must Be Able To Clean, Cook, Sew, Dig Worms And Clean Fish. Must Have Boat And Motor. Please Send Pictures Of Boat And Motor.

10-25-2019, 02:06 PM	#1626
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,350	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Reminds me of a joke from the "want ads". Wanted: Good Woman: Must Be Able To Clean, Cook, Sew, Dig Worms And Clean Fish. Must Have Boat And Motor. Please Send Pictures Of Boat And Motor. They had that 'advert' tacked on the fisherman's wall of fame at the fishing store I used to frequent. There were pics of guys holding their latest catch of the day, Pike, Pickerel (some areas call walleye), Channel Cat, etc...and this one advert. I thought it was funny....and among diehard fishermen....maybe not so far from the truth.

10-25-2019, 03:24 PM - 3 Likes	#1627
Riggomatic Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Auburn, Indiana Photos: Albums Posts: 3,886	What's green and has wheels? Grass..... I lied about the wheels. ---------- Post added 10-25-19 at 06:25 PM ---------- What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.

10-25-2019, 03:35 PM - 2 Likes	#1628
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	I once broke up with the owner of a brewery, but I loved her still.

10-25-2019, 05:02 PM - 4 Likes	#1629
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,077	What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour? ................ ........................................ .......................................................... ............................................................................ A frog in a blender.

10-25-2019, 05:45 PM - 6 Likes	#1630
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by Riggomatic What's green and has wheels? Grass..... I lied about the wheels. ---------- Post added 10-25-19 at 06:25 PM ---------- What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species. What's green and has teeth? The rugby field.

10-27-2019, 01:53 PM - 4 Likes	#1631
ehrwien Site Supporter Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 2,784	Originally posted by Riggomatic What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call it? Originally posted by Riggomatic A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species. Nice twist on a classic Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks? Because with great power comes great response ability! Nah, just kidding... he found them on the web! The wife and I decided we don't want children. We're telling them tomorrow. I've got a kid in Africa that I feed for 75 cents a day. Which is nothing... compared to the cost of sending him there.

10-28-2019, 01:11 PM - 4 Likes	#1632
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSH

10-28-2019, 01:16 PM	#1633
DasKaltblut New Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 13	This is still a joke? Originally posted by Racer X 69 What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour? ................ ........................................ .......................................................... ............................................................................ A frog in a blender.

10-28-2019, 01:27 PM	#1634
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,077	Originally posted by DasKaltblut This is still a joke? It was when my kid brother (10 years my junior) told it to me when he was in grade school.

10-28-2019, 02:19 PM - 1 Like	#1635
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,639	Originally posted by Racer X 69 What's green and red and goes 200 miles an hour? ........... A frog in a blender. The way I heard it was :- What goes from green to red at the flick of a switch? but that was a long, long time ago.

The Joke Thread

Win a Pentax Limited Lens: Raffle Now Live!