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11-30-2019, 07:53 PM - 5 Likes   #1801
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12-01-2019, 06:44 AM - 1 Like   #1802
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QuoteOriginally posted by ehrwien Quote
Everybody dies in the end?
Pretty much so. At the same time, dying more then once is a thought.
12-01-2019, 06:46 AM   #1803
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If we're only given one time to die, better get it right the first time.
12-01-2019, 08:26 AM   #1804
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Only two things are certain in life: death and taxes.

12-01-2019, 08:33 AM   #1805
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QuoteOriginally posted by bertwert Quote
Only two things are certain in life: death and taxes.
I was always told it was death and nurses!
12-01-2019, 09:30 AM - 4 Likes   #1806
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When I had my wisdom teeth removed, it was under a general anaesthetic, and when I came to, I looked around groggily and found a beautiful nurse holding my hand. I smiled at her woozily, and asked her to kiss me. Smiling, she refused -



Saying she wasn't even supposed to be in bed with me anyway.
12-02-2019, 05:22 AM - 2 Likes   #1807
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The medical intern was assigned to give immunization shots, watched carefully by an experienced physicians' assistant. He had given nine injections without a hitch when he noticed some fluid dripping from the tip of the next needle.
"Is there something wrong with this?" he asked his observer.
"No" came the response. "That's just the hypo ten ooze."


I do hope that elicits many groans.

12-02-2019, 11:21 AM - 1 Like   #1808
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
I do hope that elicits many groans.
I just spent at least 5 minutes typing out different answers, first wondering where the hypotenuse was, then thinking I got it, and now I'm just not sure anymore, so at the risk of ruining the joke by trying to dissect it, I will try exactly that in order to fully understand it:
The fluid dripping out of the needle will be accelerated by earth's gravitiy straight down to the floor, creating a right-angle triangle with its points being A) the tip of the needle, B) the spot where the fluid touches the floor and C) the point of the imaginary extended needle touching the floor, with AB and BC creating a right angle at point B, and the hypotenuse being AC, the needle and its imaginary extension. The joke only works with the response ending in ooze, but that is also where my confusion comes from, since I couple "ooze" with AB, the way the dripping fluid travels. But since AB is adjacent to the right angle, it can't be the hypotenuse at the same time.
Is that a little flaw in the joke or where did I go wrong?
I'm really sorry for all this.
12-02-2019, 11:27 AM   #1809
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
If we're only given one time to die, better get it right the first time.
Yeah, better not live with the consequences of a failed one.

12-02-2019, 11:27 AM   #1810
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QuoteOriginally posted by ehrwien Quote
I just spent at least 5 minutes typing out different answers, first wondering where the hypotenuse was, then thinking I got it, and now I'm just not sure anymore, so at the risk of ruining the joke by trying to dissect it, I will try exactly that in order to fully understand it:
The fluid dripping out of the needle will be accelerated by earth's gravitiy straight down to the floor, creating a right-angle triangle with its points being A) the tip of the needle, B) the spot where the fluid touches the floor and C) the point of the imaginary extended needle touching the floor, with AB and BC creating a right angle at point B, and the hypotenuse being AC, the needle and its imaginary extension. The joke only works with the response ending in ooze, but that is also where my confusion comes from, since I couple "ooze" with AB, the way the dripping fluid travels. But since AB is adjacent to the right angle, it can't be the hypotenuse at the same time.
Is that a little flaw in the joke or where did I go wrong?
I'm really sorry for all this.
I also spent a fair amount of time trying to decipher the joke, and couldn't find any logical hypotenuses...
I just put it down to a dysfunctional brain, on my behalf...
12-02-2019, 11:30 AM   #1811
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
The medical intern was assigned to give immunization shots, watched carefully by an experienced physicians' assistant. He had given nine injections without a hitch when he noticed some fluid dripping from the tip of the next needle.
"Is there something wrong with this?" he asked his observer.
"No" came the response. "That's just the hypo ten ooze."


I do hope that elicits many groans.
I thought this was a medical joke, not a geometry one. :groan:

12-02-2019, 11:32 AM   #1812
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QuoteOriginally posted by ehrwien Quote
I just spent at least 5 minutes typing out different answers, first wondering where the hypotenuse was, then thinking I got it, and now I'm just not sure anymore, so at the risk of ruining the joke by trying to dissect it, I will try exactly that in order to fully understand it:
The fluid dripping out of the needle will be accelerated by earth's gravitiy straight down to the floor, creating a right-angle triangle with its points being A) the tip of the needle, B) the spot where the fluid touches the floor and C) the point of the imaginary extended needle touching the floor, with AB and BC creating a right angle at point B, and the hypotenuse being AC, the needle and its imaginary extension. The joke only works with the response ending in ooze, but that is also where my confusion comes from, since I couple "ooze" with AB, the way the dripping fluid travels. But since AB is adjacent to the right angle, it can't be the hypotenuse at the same time.
Is that a little flaw in the joke or where did I go wrong?
I'm really sorry for all this.
Let's just call it one hell of a stretch of a joke. :groan:

12-02-2019, 01:37 PM - 6 Likes   #1813
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A certain Native American chief was concerned that none of his three wives were producing children, despite his valiant efforts. He consulted a Wise Woman, who gave him the following advice. She said that he should let his wives sleep on cured animal skins, from different non-American animals. He therefore procured these items, and let his wives choose which skin they wished to sleep upon.

Happily, in the fullness of time, all three of his wives gave birth to healthy babies. The wife who slept on the Tiger Skin had a girl, the wife who slept on the Lion Skin had a boy, and the wife who slept on a skin from the Hippopotamus surprised the chief by producing twins, a boy and a girl.

Intrigued, he again consulted the Wise Woman, who explained :






'The Squaw on the Hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the Squaws on the other two Hides'.
12-02-2019, 01:53 PM - 3 Likes   #1814
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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
12-02-2019, 02:25 PM - 6 Likes   #1815
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Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?To get to the other....err....umm....
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