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01-09-2020, 04:17 PM - 2 Likes   #1996
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QuoteOriginally posted by BigDave Quote
So a mushroom decides to throw a party an invites all of his friends. No one shows up. In frustration he says, "Hey I can't understand why no one came! I'm a fungi!"


---------- Post added 01-09-20 at 05:22 PM ----------

Why did the photographer get arrested?
He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

01-09-2020, 05:36 PM - 11 Likes   #1997
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A graphic joke for ya:

01-09-2020, 05:53 PM - 2 Likes   #1998
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In honor of the 2000th post, here's to remembering some Y2K madness 20 years ago:

01-11-2020, 11:54 AM - 1 Like   #1999
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When you've done the best you can
But the muck has hit the fan
The day may not be a total loss :


The flying muck might hit the boss.

01-13-2020, 12:26 PM - 8 Likes   #2000
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01-13-2020, 01:11 PM - 2 Likes   #2001
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A few bumper stickers we would like to see, more to come.

Jesus loves you........but everyone else thinks your a jerk.

Impotence. Natures way of saying 'No hard feelings.'

Your proctologist called...they found your head.
01-13-2020, 01:25 PM - 11 Likes   #2002
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Original Poster
If a man says he's going to fix something, he will, and he doesn't need reminding every six months!
01-14-2020, 11:25 AM - 2 Likes   #2003
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I fill my day with living,
With sleep, I fill my night.
I live each day as if my last -




One day I'll get it right.

01-16-2020, 12:02 AM - 8 Likes   #2004
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A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

She worries he might be a 'player', but when they get back to his place, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with tons of teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the middle shelf, and huge bears along the top shelf.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. The passion builds, and he lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they make hot, steamy love. After an intense night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, and asks coyly, "How was it?"

The guy smiles at her and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

Last edited by clackers; 01-16-2020 at 06:21 PM.
01-16-2020, 08:45 AM - 3 Likes   #2005
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Photog joke maybe

Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film
01-16-2020, 08:47 AM   #2006
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QuoteOriginally posted by dipo 1 Quote
Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film
I've told this one before.


What college is named for the road it's on?
Tulane University
01-16-2020, 02:06 PM - 1 Like   #2007
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QuoteOriginally posted by dipo 1 Quote
Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film
Wasn't there a put down by one Hollywood actress to another way back when movies were young that went "She has a photographic memory, pity she never got it developed..."
01-16-2020, 11:51 PM   #2008
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Quote from Groucho (I think as Captain Spaulding) - 'The native girls were overexposed but under-developed'.
01-17-2020, 12:02 AM - 4 Likes   #2009
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If this has appeared before, apologies.

Friend of mine phoned the Police to report he had been the victim of Identity Theft. Police officer asked for details, saying 'Who's Calling ?'





My friend said 'I wish I knew.'
01-17-2020, 08:55 AM - 1 Like   #2010
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I came home one day to find all my stuff was replaced by an exact replica. I said to my roommate, can you believe this? All this stuff is an exact replica. He said......



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