[35mmfilmfan]

A friend of mine told me she had seen her dentist. I asked if she had bitten her optician.

[jeallen01]

Guess who I bumped into at the opticians today........everyone!

Took a "few moments" but I finally "got it"

[lesmore49]

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?




Because the “P” is silent.

[carabez]

Was it not the greeks who said that there were only seven basic stories, every story since then has been a variation on one of them.

I also read that the Greeks were the first to narrate on right-hand page of the book what happened to the protagonist and on left-hand page what the antagonists did to finally find themselves at the end of the story. Maybe It's a Myth

[SpecialK]

Because the “P” is silent.

Same as in swimming.

[robtcorl]

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am 73 years old and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line and start all over again,
Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

[Tonytee]

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am 73 years old and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line and start all over again,
Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

I am nearly your age and apparently I have not been around long enough, since I do not have the capacity to come up with such a brilliant move. Kudos to you, friend.

Bravo!

Tony

[WPRESTO]

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I am 73 years old and I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done, because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line and start all over again,
Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

On the other hand, being squelched she will be resentful, angry, vindictive. If you had just let your gesture go, perhaps she would have been contrite, felt guilty and paid it forward next time. As Snoopy observed, a kiss on the nose turns anger aside. (Snoopy pulled this on several characters)..

[robtcorl]

On the other hand, being squelched she will be resentful, angry, vindictive. If you had just let your gesture go, perhaps she would have been contrite, felt guilty and paid it forward next time.

Sorry, I thought everyone would know this is just a joke.
For those who know me well, know I'm much too kind to do something like this...............unless I get the chance.

[WPRESTO]

Sorry, I thought everyone would know this is just a joke.
For those who know me well, know I'm much too kind to do something like this...............unless I get the chance.

I should have known that your tongue was deep in your cheek, but then, I too have had comments meant to be a joke that were taken too seriously, much to my chagrin.

[Parallax]

On the other hand, being squelched she will be resentful, angry, vindictive. If you had just let your gesture go, perhaps she would have been contrite, felt guilty and paid it forward next time. As Snoopy observed, a kiss on the nose turns anger aside. (Snoopy pulled this on several characters)..

I should have known that your tongue was deep in your cheek, but then, I too have had comments meant to be a joke that were taken too seriously, much to my chagrin.

Perhaps you didn't notice the tread title?

[WPRESTO]

Perhaps you didn't notice the tread title?

Tread title? As the ox said, I guess the yoke is on me.

[lesmore49]

Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God. Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?” Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff. Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”

[Liney]

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?




Because the “P” is silent.

Reminds me of an old joke about a bunch of Aussie army blokes out in the middle of nowhere. One day a senior officer from HQ came to visit to see how conditions were and all that, and he brought with him his adjutant. (for those with no military background, an adjutant is a low ranking officer specifically sent along to keep the senior officers to schedule, carry the senior officers bags, and take notes).

Anywho, the senior officer wandered around the place asking questions and telling the chaps they were doing a wonderful job, and he finally got to the mess hall (well, mess tent. Actually it was a lean-to with a kitchen at one end and a couple of tables and benches). Some of the soldiers were eating lunch so the senior officer wandered across and asked how the food and general conditions were.

One scruffy little soldier stood up and said "Well sir, the grub ain't too bad but there are a few, well, "comforts" that we really miss that you could help us out with".

Senior officer looked attentive and asked for more details, and asked his adjutant to take notes. The soldier went on "Well, we're up here for six months at a time and we could do with some magazines or books to read". Senior officer turned to adjutant "write that down for me, reading material". The adjutant scribbled it down, and the soldier continued "and quite a few of us enjoy a fag or two during the day and in the evening". Senior officer nodded, turned to the adjutant and said "write that down, cigarette ration".

Senior officer then nodded to the soldier to continue, and the soldier, after looking to his mates for moral support said "Well sir, we appreciate that we are on active duty but after a hard days slog, we could really do with, well, a couple of cold ones. You know, a libation or two to allow us to unwind" The senior officer smiled to himself, turned to his adjutant and said "definitely write that down, cold refreshments".

The adjutant, who had been trying to follow the conversation and make notes, suddenly had a mental blank and asked "how do I spell that?" The soldier kindly assisted and answered "just write B.E.F.E.R".

The adjutant wrote this down, looked at it and exclaimed "But there is no 'F' in beer!" to which one of the other soldiers at the table muttered "jeez, that's what we've been trying to tell you......"

[lesmore49]

Reminds me of an old joke about a bunch of Aussie army blokes out in the middle of nowhere. One day a senior officer from HQ came to visit to see how conditions were and all that, and he brought with him his adjutant. (for those with no military background, an adjutant is a low ranking officer specifically sent along to keep the senior officers to schedule, carry the senior officers bags, and take notes).

Anywho, the senior officer wandered around the place asking questions and telling the chaps they were doing a wonderful job, and he finally got to the mess hall (well, mess tent. Actually it was a lean-to with a kitchen at one end and a couple of tables and benches). Some of the soldiers were eating lunch so the senior officer wandered across and asked how the food and general conditions were.

One scruffy little soldier stood up and said "Well sir, the grub ain't too bad but there are a few, well, "comforts" that we really miss that you could help us out with".

Senior officer looked attentive and asked for more details, and asked his adjutant to take notes. The soldier went on "Well, we're up here for six months at a time and we could do with some magazines or books to read". Senior officer turned to adjutant "write that down for me, reading material". The adjutant scribbled it down, and the soldier continued "and quite a few of us enjoy a fag or two during the day and in the evening". Senior officer nodded, turned to the adjutant and said "write that down, cigarette ration".

Senior officer then nodded to the soldier to continue, and the soldier, after looking to his mates for moral support said "Well sir, we appreciate that we are on active duty but after a hard days slog, we could really do with, well, a couple of cold ones. You know, a libation or two to allow us to unwind" The senior officer smiled to himself, turned to his adjutant and said "definitely write that down, cold refreshments".

The adjutant, who had been trying to follow the conversation and make notes, suddenly had a mental blank and asked "how do I spell that?" The soldier kindly assisted and answered "just write B.E.F.E.R".

The adjutant wrote this down, looked at it and exclaimed "But there is no 'F' in beer!" to which one of the other soldiers at the table muttered "jeez, that's what we've been trying to tell you......"

While I was reading this I was wondering where is it going...and like all good jokes the punch line caught me by surprise. Good one !