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12-30-2020, 04:50 PM - 6 Likes   #3586
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Did you know that actor Raymond Burr had a younger brother who lived in Oregon?
He was a lumberjack for Weyerhaeuser. His name was Tim, Tim Burr..

12-31-2020, 12:54 AM - 3 Likes   #3587
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A wealthy man in Monte Carlo has squandered all his fortune into roulette. He left the casino and walked sadly along the road. And suddenly an inner voice says to him:

"All is not lost yet, not all ... You have left your deceased mother's ring on your hand. Come back and play again."

The man returned, entered the hall and an inner voice told him:

- "Put it on black." The man took off the ring and put it on black. The roulette spun. Dropped red. And an inner voice said:

- "Oh my God, how wrong I was!"

Last edited by Martin Stu; 01-01-2021 at 12:38 PM.
12-31-2020, 08:20 AM - 10 Likes   #3588
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My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
12-31-2020, 08:45 AM - 3 Likes   #3589
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Russian cyberfarm on Mars


01-01-2021, 01:56 AM - 2 Likes   #3590
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I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.
01-01-2021, 05:46 AM - 4 Likes   #3591
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just accidentally dropped a Vivitar 283 down the loo -






Talk about a flash in the pan.
01-01-2021, 07:06 AM - 15 Likes   #3592
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Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t
the correct response.

01-01-2021, 04:18 PM - 10 Likes   #3593
bxf
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Auld lang syne
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01-02-2021, 04:18 AM   #3594
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QuoteOriginally posted by bxf Quote
Auld lang syne
Spot-on timing for that post.
01-02-2021, 07:24 AM - 8 Likes   #3595
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From the other side of the pond ...

Alien 1: " What are they celebrating? "

Alien 2: " Their planet made an orbit around the sun. "

Alien 1: " I said that they were very stupid. "
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01-02-2021, 03:53 PM - 3 Likes   #3596
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Spot-on timing for that post.
Allan Sherman :

'I know a man, his name is Lang,
He has a Neon sign -
Now Mr. Lang is very old,
So they call it 'Old Lang's Sign'.'

Or The Who :

'Meet the New Year -
Same as the Old Year'.
01-03-2021, 04:55 AM - 3 Likes   #3597
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The kid Indian asks his mother:

- Why is my sister called Rising Sun?

- Because she was conceived at dawn.

- Why is the youngest named Blue Flower?

- Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers.
Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions!
01-03-2021, 07:40 AM - 12 Likes   #3598
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" Remember to update your money today "
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01-03-2021, 08:50 AM - 2 Likes   #3599
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QuoteOriginally posted by Martin Stu Quote
The kid Indian asks his mother:

- Why is my sister called Rising Sun?

- Because she was conceived at dawn.

- Why is the youngest named Blue Flower?

- Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers.
Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions!
This joke works so much better when it isnít quite so forum friendly.
01-03-2021, 11:07 AM - 1 Like   #3600
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QuoteOriginally posted by steamloco76 Quote
This joke works so much better when it isnít quite so forum friendly.
Careful - or the next bucket of water will be for you !
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