The Joke Thread

35mmfilmfan · 01-16-2021, 03:14 AM - **6 Likes**

As age encroaches, three things tend to happen. Your hearing deteriorates (according to SWMBO), your memory deteriorates -

And I can't recall the third at the moment, I'll get back to you.

35mmfilmfan · 01-16-2021, 03:23 AM - **7 Likes**

I always get worried when I see a woman using an Apple computer.

I remember what happened the last time when a woman got her hands on an apple . . .

robtcorl · 01-16-2021, 05:53 AM - **19 Likes**

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Martin Stu · 01-16-2021, 09:49 AM - **1 Like**

Previously, I was actively involved in tennis, football, hockey, chess, and also excellently drove cars and piloted a helicopter... But everything ended up with a broken computer.

timb64 · 01-16-2021, 11:40 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Martin Stu

Previously, I was actively involved in tennis, football, hockey, chess, and also excellently drove cars and piloted a helicopter... But everything ended up with a broken computer.

At least it ended your career as a violent drug-dealing gangster!

SimonC · 01-16-2021, 02:40 PM - **8 Likes**

My New Year’s resolution was to get in shape.

I chose round.

35mmfilmfan · 01-16-2021, 04:05 PM - **7 Likes**

Last year, my New Year's Resolution was to wake up alive at least once a day, and I managed it every day.

In fact, on some days, I woke up three or four times.

SimonC · 01-17-2021, 01:39 PM - **3 Likes**

I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting!

35mmfilmfan · 01-17-2021, 02:26 PM - **6 Likes**

If I put an APSC lens on a FF body, is it suitable for Crop Circles ?

jeallen01 · 01-17-2021, 02:50 PM - **5 Likes**

Originally posted by SimonC

I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting!

Somewhat "off the point" but, a couple of months ago, I saw a "War Factories" programme on one of the SKY Documentary channels that explained that, until the early/middle of WWII, all ship hulls were put together with rivets, but a US entrepreneur told their government that "he" could build them much faster using different methods in order to be able to send urgently-needed war supplies to the UK - so "he" went against "history" and set up a huge new shipyard to build them with hulls that were welded together instead of riveting (which was very labour/time-intensive).

"Everyone else" said that "it couldn't be done" - but that's the way that the "Liberty Ships" were built in record time, and in very large numbers, and so the rest is "history" (except that, after the war, that shipyard soon became disused, and has stayed that way to this day).

**BigDave** · 01-17-2021, 10:10 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by SimonC

I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together.It was riveting!

I bet you were also welded to you seat!

Racer X 69 · 01-18-2021, 09:14 AM

Originally posted by SimonC

I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting!

Actually, ships are welded together these days.

Airplanes, on the other hand, are assembled with tens of thousands of rivets and permanent straight shank fasteners (read titanium bolts).

lesmore49 · 01-18-2021, 02:28 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by jeallen01

Somewhat "off the point" but, a couple of months ago, I saw a "War Factories" programme on one of the SKY Documentary channels that explained that, until the early/middle of WWII, all ship hulls were put together with rivets, but a US entrepreneur told their government that "he" could build them much faster using different methods in order to be able to send urgently-needed war supplies to the UK - so "he" went against "history" and set up a huge new shipyard to build them with hulls that were welded together instead of riveting (which was very labour/time-intensive).

"Everyone else" said that "it couldn't be done" - but that's the way that the "Liberty Ships" were built in record time, and in very large numbers, and so the rest is "history" (except that, after the war, that shipyard soon became disused, and has stayed that way to this day).

As it happens, I just watched a 1940's movie over the weekend, name of Action in the North Atlantic, which was about supply ship convoys bringing equipment, food, supplies, etc. from Canada and the USA to Russia, Britain, etc. during WW2. Starred Humphrey Bogart and Raymond Massey and it is a movie, I recommend watching for those interested in this type of film.

It tells the story of the journey of a Liberty ship from Halifax, Canada to Murmansk , Russia.

Action in the North Atlantic - Wikipedia

**BigDave** · 01-18-2021, 08:55 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by lesmore49

Action in the North Atlantic - Wikipedia

You must have been watching the same time I was! Good movie actually.

lesmore49 · 01-18-2021, 10:07 PM

Originally posted by BigDave

You must have been watching the same time I was! Good movie actually.

I bet I was ! TCM just a few days ago.

01-16-2021, 02:40 PM - 8 Likes	#3666
SimonC Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Trearddur Bay, Isle of Anglesey Posts: 466	My New Year’s resolution was to get in shape. I chose round. Last edited by SimonC; 01-16-2021 at 02:41 PM. Reason: Typo

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01-16-2021, 03:14 AM - 6 Likes	#3661
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	As age encroaches, three things tend to happen. Your hearing deteriorates (according to SWMBO), your memory deteriorates - And I can't recall the third at the moment, I'll get back to you.

01-16-2021, 03:23 AM - 7 Likes	#3662
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	I always get worried when I see a woman using an Apple computer. I remember what happened the last time when a woman got her hands on an apple . . .

01-16-2021, 05:53 AM - 19 Likes	#3663
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

01-16-2021, 09:49 AM - 1 Like	#3664
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	Previously, I was actively involved in tennis, football, hockey, chess, and also excellently drove cars and piloted a helicopter... But everything ended up with a broken computer.

01-16-2021, 11:40 AM - 1 Like	#3665
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by Martin Stu Previously, I was actively involved in tennis, football, hockey, chess, and also excellently drove cars and piloted a helicopter... But everything ended up with a broken computer. At least it ended your career as a violent drug-dealing gangster!

01-16-2021, 04:05 PM - 7 Likes	#3667
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Last year, my New Year's Resolution was to wake up alive at least once a day, and I managed it every day. In fact, on some days, I woke up three or four times.

01-17-2021, 01:39 PM - 3 Likes	#3668
SimonC Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Trearddur Bay, Isle of Anglesey Posts: 466	I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting!

01-17-2021, 02:26 PM - 6 Likes	#3669
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	If I put an APSC lens on a FF body, is it suitable for Crop Circles ?

01-17-2021, 02:50 PM - 5 Likes	#3670
jeallen01 Pentaxian Join Date: May 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,697	Originally posted by SimonC I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting! Somewhat "off the point" but, a couple of months ago, I saw a "War Factories" programme on one of the SKY Documentary channels that explained that, until the early/middle of WWII, all ship hulls were put together with rivets, but a US entrepreneur told their government that "he" could build them much faster using different methods in order to be able to send urgently-needed war supplies to the UK - so "he" went against "history" and set up a huge new shipyard to build them with hulls that were welded together instead of riveting (which was very labour/time-intensive). "Everyone else" said that "it couldn't be done" - but that's the way that the "Liberty Ships" were built in record time, and in very large numbers, and so the rest is "history" (except that, after the war, that shipyard soon became disused, and has stayed that way to this day).

01-17-2021, 10:10 PM - 2 Likes	#3671
BigDave Site Supporter Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Hudson Valley, NY Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 2,626	Originally posted by SimonC I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together.It was riveting! I bet you were also welded to you seat!

01-18-2021, 09:14 AM	#3672
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,068	Originally posted by SimonC I watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting! Actually, ships are welded together these days. Airplanes, on the other hand, are assembled with tens of thousands of rivets and permanent straight shank fasteners (read titanium bolts).

01-18-2021, 02:28 PM - 1 Like	#3673
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,344	Originally posted by jeallen01 Somewhat "off the point" but, a couple of months ago, I saw a "War Factories" programme on one of the SKY Documentary channels that explained that, until the early/middle of WWII, all ship hulls were put together with rivets, but a US entrepreneur told their government that "he" could build them much faster using different methods in order to be able to send urgently-needed war supplies to the UK - so "he" went against "history" and set up a huge new shipyard to build them with hulls that were welded together instead of riveting (which was very labour/time-intensive). "Everyone else" said that "it couldn't be done" - but that's the way that the "Liberty Ships" were built in record time, and in very large numbers, and so the rest is "history" (except that, after the war, that shipyard soon became disused, and has stayed that way to this day). As it happens, I just watched a 1940's movie over the weekend, name of Action in the North Atlantic, which was about supply ship convoys bringing equipment, food, supplies, etc. from Canada and the USA to Russia, Britain, etc. during WW2. Starred Humphrey Bogart and Raymond Massey and it is a movie, I recommend watching for those interested in this type of film. It tells the story of the journey of a Liberty ship from Halifax, Canada to Murmansk , Russia. Action in the North Atlantic - Wikipedia

01-18-2021, 08:55 PM - 1 Like	#3674
BigDave Site Supporter Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Hudson Valley, NY Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 2,626	Originally posted by lesmore49 Action in the North Atlantic - Wikipedia You must have been watching the same time I was! Good movie actually.

01-18-2021, 10:07 PM	#3675
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,344	Originally posted by BigDave You must have been watching the same time I was! Good movie actually. I bet I was ! TCM just a few days ago.