Forgot Password
Pentax Camera Forums Home
 

Reply
Show Printable Version Search this Thread
02-12-2017, 08:53 PM   #361
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
RichardS's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Nelson Bay, NSW, Australia
Posts: 2,388
QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
The preceding post is very familiar to me. Remember it from way back. And I went through development of "THE PLAN" at least three times, and each time the product was, IMHO a pile of ..... Once the entire faculty was engaged in writing a new "mission statement," which for reasons obscure to us was vital to do. Used up meetings for about five months as a recall. Then a few years later a new administration came in and changed it, without consulting the faculty at all. AND DO NOT get me onto the subject of a "strategic plan."
At one stage in my career, I developed IT Strategic Plans. One was for a state government health dept. The steering committee had a representative from every hospital in the state, from 800 bed city hospitals to 4 bed bush nursing homes. There were over 50 of them.

The meetings were a joke.

02-13-2017, 05:51 AM   #362
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
WPRESTO's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 36,795
One thing exasperated me beyond endurance during writing of the so-called "strategic plan." A former member of the business school was brought in, passing herself off as an expert on strategic plans. But she knew diddly squat, FAR less than I did. The resulting pile had no goals, no objectives, no assigned action plans, no deadlines, no procedure for review. Nothing. BUT, the president sold it to the board of trustees, who knew diddly squat, and he subsequently used it to justify whatever he decided to do, so hopelessly vague, garbled, and meaningless were virtually every sentence in it.
02-16-2017, 07:41 PM   #363
Resident Bagpiper
Loyal Site Supporter
bertwert's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Golden, BC
Photos: Albums
Posts: 10,235
Original Poster
James and John were asked, on a grammar test, that for a particular sentence which of the following was correct: "had" or "had had".

James, while John had had “had,” had had “had had;” “had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.
02-17-2017, 12:28 AM - 3 Likes   #364
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter




Join Date: Jul 2012
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 7,973
True story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol officer: ????

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 East at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a concealed carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something ... body language, or the way she said it ... made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.

Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.

She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a damn thing!"

02-17-2017, 01:48 AM   #365
Pentaxian
SpecialK's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: So California
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 15,564
I can't post one of my favorite jokes here...it has a (required) 4-letter word, and implied national slur (but you can adapt it to any country you like :-)
02-17-2017, 03:46 AM - 1 Like   #366
pjv
Otis Memorial Pentaxian
Loyal Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
pjv's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 5,836
So Grandad walked into the room with his tackle out, smothered in boot polish.
Bless him, he must have misheard when we told him to turn his clock back.
02-17-2017, 05:08 AM - 1 Like   #367
Veteran Member
35mmfilmfan's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Norfolk, UK
Posts: 643
I have been told this is a sexist joke :
Two persons with naturally yellow hair were walking through the forest when they came upon some tracks. One said 'These are deer tracks'. The other responded 'No, these are the tracks of a cow'. 'Deer'. 'Cow'. 'Deer'. 'Cow'.
This went on for five minutes, until the train hit them.
02-18-2017, 03:45 PM   #368
Pentaxian
Liney's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 419
I can't remember if I have posted this here, but it's worth the five minutes typing. Warning - contains an inferred reference to female genitalia, if that doesn't get your attention nothing will....

The owner of a high street shop comes to work one morning and while unlocking the front door notices that there is a crack in the plate glass window. Fully aware of the fact that a broken window is expensive, he contacts a local glazing company to come and see what they can do. The company send around one of their most experienced glaziers to have a look, and as the store is relatively quiet the owner assigns one of the young female assistants to help the glazier with anything he needs.

The glazier looks at the crack, thinks for a short while, then reaches into the toolbox for a drill. Carefully assessing the line of the crack, the glazier selects a point close to the end of the crack and drills a small hole.

The young shop assistant has watched all this with interest, and asks the glazier "why did you drill the hole there?" The glazier explains that the crack will continue in the direction it is currently traveling, but when it reaches the hole the crack will stop and not go any further.

The young assistant looked puzzled for a moment, then her face suddenly lit up "I get it now, I always wondered what my belly button was for...."

02-18-2017, 06:47 PM   #369
Moderator
Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
MarkJerling's Avatar

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 10,143
QuoteOriginally posted by Tonytee Quote
True story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol officer: ????

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 East at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a concealed carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something ... body language, or the way she said it ... made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.

Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.

She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a damn thing!"
I'm still laughing Tony! Nice one.
02-18-2017, 09:32 PM   #370
Pentaxian
p38arover's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Western Sydney, Australia
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 3,085
QuoteOriginally posted by SpecialK Quote
I can't post one of my favorite jokes here...it has a (required) 4-letter word, and implied national slur (but you can adapt it to any country you like :-)
Send it to me by PM.

---------- Post added 19th Feb 2017 at 15:34 ----------

QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I have been told this is a sexist joke :
Two persons with naturally yellow hair were walking through the forest when they came upon some tracks. One said 'These are deer tracks'. The other responded 'No, these are the tracks of a cow'. 'Deer'. 'Cow'. 'Deer'. 'Cow'.
This went on for five minutes, until the train hit them.
Hmm, the only sexist bits are the references to a deer and a cow - both of which are female. Shame on you!
02-18-2017, 10:43 PM - 1 Like   #371
Pentaxian
SpecialK's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: So California
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 15,564
QuoteOriginally posted by p38arover Quote
Send it to me by PM. [COLOR="Silver"]
On the way. I quickly wrote it up again because I could not find it in my old PM's :-) . It might benefit from a little polishing.
02-19-2017, 01:40 AM   #372
Pentaxian
p38arover's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Western Sydney, Australia
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 3,085
Got it.
02-19-2017, 01:46 AM - 1 Like   #373
Pentaxian




Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wangaratta, Victoria
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 4,497
I never remember jokes, and my wife only remembers one.
This is it;

What do you call a blind deer? No idea.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea.
What do you call a blind deer, with no legs and is on fire? Still flaming no idea.
02-19-2017, 01:53 AM   #374
Moderator
Site Supporter
Loyal Site Supporter
MarkJerling's Avatar

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand
Photos: Gallery | Albums
Posts: 10,143
QuoteOriginally posted by SpecialK Quote
On the way. I quickly wrote it up again because I could not find it in my old PM's :-) . It might benefit from a little polishing.
Feel free to PM me too.
02-19-2017, 02:02 AM   #375
Pentaxian
SpecialK's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: So California
Photos: Gallery
Posts: 15,564
QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
Feel free to PM me too.
Heads up :-)
Reply

Bookmarks
  • Submit Thread to Facebook Facebook
  • Submit Thread to Twitter Twitter
  • Submit Thread to Digg Digg
Tags - Make this thread easier to find by adding keywords to it!
antonio, baby, church, coffin, community, course, crowd, dad, doctor, drop, friend, front, god, hands, house, jeff, joker, land, mouth, navy, notice, poland, post, redneck, son, spade, sun, window, woman, world
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Where is the annual Pentax FF April fool joke? LFLee Pentax Full Frame 27 04-04-2014 03:48 AM
Misc Batman : The Killing Joke 6BQ5 Post Your Photos! 7 02-24-2014 01:58 PM
Joke Thread! Gooshin General Talk 327 10-23-2012 08:59 PM
Political Joke Thread Parallax General Talk 42 04-20-2012 06:42 AM



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:34 PM. | See also: NikonForums.com, CanonForums.com part of our network of photo forums!
  • Red (Default)
  • Green
  • Gray
  • Dark
  • Dark Yellow
  • Dark Blue
  • Old Red
  • Old Green
  • Old Gray
  • Dial-Up Style
Hello! It's great to see you back on the forum! Have you considered joining the community?
register
Creating a FREE ACCOUNT takes under a minute, removes ads, and lets you post! [Dismiss]
Top