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02-22-2021, 06:03 PM - 16 Likes   #3736
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Breaking news.
Man shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.
Surgeons revealed he is fully recovered.

02-23-2021, 02:54 PM - 11 Likes   #3737
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02-23-2021, 07:52 PM - 3 Likes   #3738
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There is no cure for stupidity.....

But we can check for it.
02-24-2021, 01:34 PM - 7 Likes   #3739
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From FB ... enough said

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02-25-2021, 05:40 AM - 9 Likes   #3740
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Got my wife some of that new Gorilla glue chapstick.

She's speechless.
02-25-2021, 10:01 PM - 7 Likes   #3741
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"A drunk man enters a church and begins to stumble from pew to pew as a priest at the back of the room observes and feels compassion for him.

The drunk finally makes it to the confessional box, enters and sits down. The priest sees this as his moment to help this poor lost soul and enters the confessional from the back. He sits and waits quietly for the man to pour out his sins.

There is silence for several minutes, so finally the priest coughs and says, "Son, can I help you?"

After a pause, the drunk says, "Yeah. You got any paper on your side?"
02-28-2021, 02:22 AM - 4 Likes   #3742
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A new challenge is sweeping through France!

" Join the three-day challenge without alcohol ... the 29th, 30th & 31st of February "
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Last edited by Jean Poitiers; 03-01-2021 at 10:44 AM.
03-01-2021, 07:17 AM - 9 Likes   #3743
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03-03-2021, 05:11 AM - 2 Likes   #3744
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The worms crawl in, and the worms crawl out
The ones that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in, and your teeth fall out
Your brains come trickling down your snout -



Be merry, my friends, be merry.
03-03-2021, 06:38 AM - 1 Like   #3745
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The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They turn your stomach a slimy green
and puffs come out like whipping cream

The worms seem to have their very own poetic fan club.
03-03-2021, 07:57 AM - 7 Likes   #3746
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May be previous posted...

Last edited by carabez; 03-03-2021 at 02:40 PM. Reason: Disapear from attachements
03-03-2021, 10:26 AM - 3 Likes   #3747
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FYI, V-A-V the comment by Betty White above concerning application of glue to your hair. Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit.

Two things come to mind:
1) if she had won the suit, cinder-block makers would need to apply a warning about not swimming while carrying their product.
2) It might have been safer if the glue company had put on the following warning: "Not for use by idiots."
03-04-2021, 05:23 AM   #3748
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit.
I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes.
Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair?
03-04-2021, 05:33 AM   #3749
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QuoteOriginally posted by robtcorl Quote
I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes.
Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair?
Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow
03-04-2021, 08:23 AM - 1 Like   #3750
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow
About the woman and McDonalds, part of what you said is a myth. I looked into it one day because I was board and curious.

The woman was with her grandson, her grand son was driving. This also happened in the 70's before cars had cup holders. They went through the drive through and she did place the cup of coffee between her legs. The boy turned into a parking space bumping the curb causing the lid to pop off and splash onto her. She was wearing cotton sweat pants and she could not unbuckle and get out of the car fast enough.

They went to the hospital and she ended up with 2ed and 3rd degree burns. She contacted that McD not the corporation and asked them to pay for the hospital bills and ,of course they refused. So she had to file a lawsuit.

During the investigation into the case, her lawyer found out that the health department had given that McD's several warnings about the temperature of the coffee. Apparently, the coffee is to be served between 160 and 170 degrees. That franchise was serving the coffee at 200+ degrees.

We all know, she won her case. This is where it gets funny. The original hospital bills she wanted the franchise to pay was less then $20,000. As I think about it, the bills might have been less then $10,000. In the end, that franchise had to pay the woman $700,000 dollars and all that franchise had to do was turn down the coffee machine which would have prevented all of this from happening.
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