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04-19-2021, 05:53 AM - 6 Likes   #3856
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One for the birders :

What do you get if you cross a Goose and an Eagle ?







Google (tm)

04-19-2021, 06:11 AM   #3857
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
What do you get if you cross a Goose and an Eagle ?
it is better to cross a goose with apples
04-20-2021, 08:02 AM - 10 Likes   #3858
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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
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It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Last edited by luftfluss; 04-20-2021 at 08:21 AM. Reason: Tweak by Tim ;-)
04-20-2021, 10:35 AM - 7 Likes   #3859
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Original Poster


04-20-2021, 11:10 PM - 13 Likes   #3860
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"The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He should have his cabinet put together by the end of the week."
04-21-2021, 01:03 AM - 7 Likes   #3861
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
"The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He should have his cabinet put together by the end of the week."
He'll probably have the odd screw loose when he's finished
04-21-2021, 04:36 AM - 10 Likes   #3862
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04-21-2021, 06:03 AM - 2 Likes   #3863
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- The food here is just awful.
- Don't tell me. And the portions are so small.

04-23-2021, 11:36 AM - 6 Likes   #3864
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Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"
04-24-2021, 05:11 AM - 2 Likes   #3865
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In the course of many years of research, it turned out that mathematicians do not get fat. They become rounded.
04-24-2021, 11:32 PM - 2 Likes   #3866
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Photographers are very mean. First, they frame you, then they shoot you, then hang you on the wall.
04-25-2021, 07:05 AM - 2 Likes   #3867
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The train rushes along the border of one of the largest ranches in Texas. One of the passengers looks at a huge herd grazing along the road. When the train finally passed the ranch grounds, he turned to his neighbor and remarked:
- A decent herd. 11 thousand 429 heads.

The neighbor stared at him in surprise:
- Itís just incomprehensible, I am the owner of this ranch, and the figure you give is absolutely accurate. But how did you manage to count them when the train is moving at 60 miles per hour ?!

- Oh, if you use my system, it's not difficult at all. I count my legs first, and then divide by four.
04-25-2021, 06:55 PM   #3868
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QuoteOriginally posted by Martin Stu Quote
The train rushes along the border of one of the largest ranches in Texas. One of the passengers looks at a huge herd grazing along the road. When the train finally passed the ranch grounds, he turned to his neighbor and remarked:- A decent herd. 11 thousand 429 heads.The neighbor stared at him in surprise:- It’s just incomprehensible, I am the owner of this ranch, and the figure you give is absolutely accurate. But how did you manage to count them when the train is moving at 60 miles per hour ?!- Oh, if you use my system, it's not difficult at all. I count my legs first, and then divide by four.
I usually get most of the jokes posted her but this one I'm missing something.
04-26-2021, 01:52 AM - 1 Like   #3869
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QuoteOriginally posted by fuzzyphotos Quote
I usually get most of the jokes posted her but this one I'm missing something.
I think it's a typo - he counts the legs on the cattle, then divides by four.
04-26-2021, 04:59 AM   #3870
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I think it's a typo - he counts the legs on the cattle, then divides by four.
Of course!
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