[Parallax]

A bartender was in the process of constructing a perfect Old-fashioned when a Cocker Spaniel walked up to the bar.
'What can I do for ya?'
The Spaniel stared down the bar, inspecting the other patrons, and answered, 'Gimme a whiskey'.
The bartender pushed his just-made masterpiece towards the edge of the bar....'How bout an Old-fashioned?'
The Spaniel cocked his head and glared at the glass. 'I wanna a whiskey', he said. 'If I wanted anything else I woulda asked for it...Whiskey.'
The bar-keep pulled the drink away and poured two fingers of whiskey and placed it in front of the angry customer. 'Here ya go, buddy.'
'If I were yer buddy I woulda taken the Old-fashioned.'
The situation was becoming more tense as the seconds passed but the bartender was ready to defuse the tension: 'Isnt that your wife down there at the end of the bar? Next to the big guy in glasses?'
The Spaniel looked down the bar, then back at the bartender, then slid his whiskey glass away from him. 'Ill take a water. In a bowl.' And taking off his three-piece suit and hat, said in a dejected voice 'that aint my wife, that's my poodle'

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.


It was the lest I could do for him.

Okay, I get that one.

[Michael Piziak]

[slartibartfast01]

A bartender was in the process of constructing a perfect Old-fashioned when a Cocker Spaniel walked up to the bar.

'What can I do for ya?'

The Spaniel stared down the bar, inspecting the other patrons, and answered, 'Gimme a whiskey'.

The bartender pushed his just-made masterpiece towards the edge of the bar....'How bout an Old-fashioned?'

The Spaniel cocked his head and glared at the glass. 'I wanna a whiskey', he said. 'If I wanted anything else I woulda asked for it...Whiskey.'

The bar-keep pulled the drink away and poured two fingers of whiskey and placed it in front of the angry customer. 'Here ya go, buddy.'

'If I were yer buddy I woulda taken the Old-fashioned.'

The situation was becoming more tense as the seconds passed but the bartender was ready to defuse the tension: 'Isnt that your wife down there at the end of the bar? Next to the big guy in glasses?'

The Spaniel looked down the bar, then back at the bartender, then slid his whiskey glass away from him. 'Ill take a water. In a bowl.' And taking off his three-piece suit and hat, said in a dejected voice 'that aint my wife, that's my poodle'

Anybody?

[35mmfilmfan]

Anybody?

I think someone has invented the Zen joke !

Unless it is a shaggy dog story - in which case, where's Scooby ? Me, I always fancied Velma - what a doll.

[Michael Piziak]

[StiffLegged]

In that case, if a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

[Michael Piziak]

[Michael Piziak]

[Michael Piziak]

[Riggomatic]

What time of day is the best time.....


6:30...hands down

[ehrwien]

What time of day is the best time.....
6:30...hands down

Well, actually... the hour hand will be pointing exactly downwards only at 6:00. So half an hour later, it will have moved on from that position 15° when the minute hand is pointing exactly downwards. I think however that 6:30 at least minimizes the sum of the absolute deviations of both hands from pointing exactly down, so I'll give you a pass on that one.. for now if we don't count the absolute values of the deviations however, say we want to balance the hands, the equilibrium will be reached somewhere between 6:25 and 6:26?

[RobA_Oz]

Well, actually... the hour hand will be pointing exactly downwards only at 6:00. So half an hour later, it will have moved on from that position 15° when the minute hand is pointing exactly downwards. I think however that 6:30 at least minimizes the sum of the absolute deviations of both hands from pointing exactly down, so I'll give you a pass on that one.. for now if we don't count the absolute values of the deviations however, say we want to balance the hands, the equilibrium will be reached somewhere between 6:25 and 6:26?

There’s something both comforting and unsettling about finding another human being who thinks like me.

[timb64]

Well, actually... the hour hand will be pointing exactly downwards only at 6:00. So half an hour later, it will have moved on from that position 15° when the minute hand is pointing exactly downwards. I think however that 6:30 at least minimizes the sum of the absolute deviations of both hands from pointing exactly down, so I'll give you a pass on that one.. for now if we don't count the absolute values of the deviations however, say we want to balance the hands, the equilibrium will be reached somewhere between 6:25 and 6:26?

[Riggomatic]

Well, actually... the hour hand will be pointing exactly downwards only at 6:00. So half an hour later, it will have moved on from that position 15° when the minute hand is pointing exactly downwards. I think however that 6:30 at least minimizes the sum of the absolute deviations of both hands from pointing exactly down, so I'll give you a pass on that one.. for now if we don't count the absolute values of the deviations however, say we want to balance the hands, the equilibrium will be reached somewhere between 6:25 and 6:26?

Wow, that's a lot of analysis for a Laffy Taffy joke .

[RobA_Oz]

Hey! We’re not all spotty Herberts with poor dress sense.