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04-15-2017, 08:19 AM - 1 Like   #451
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I met a man yesterday with one leg called Bert.

I don't know what his other leg was called.
Wert...?

04-15-2017, 10:28 AM - 1 Like   #452
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My wife found me in the kitchen naked holding a gun

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, shocked at my appearance.

"Quiet woman! I'm hunting decepticons!" I whispered back harshly.

She put her hands on her hips. "You've been sleep walking again! There are no such thing as decepticons!"

I blinked, realizing how stupid I looked.

"I guess you're right! Man I must look like and idiot!" I said.

She laughed.

I laughed.

The toaster laughed.

I shot the toaster.
04-15-2017, 12:16 PM   #453
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I met a man yesterday with one leg called Bert.

I don't know what his other leg was called.


This is the only time I am going to do this. Please don't take it the wrong way 35mmfilmfan.


The way that joke actually goes is;


I met a man the other day with a wooden leg called Bert. So I asked him, "What's the name of your other leg?"


Sorry.
04-15-2017, 03:09 PM - 1 Like   #454
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Also from an old New Yorker cartoon.

Two young women are chatting.
"And did you enjoy your honeymoon."
"Heavens yes. I met the most exciting young man."
After many years of marriage, an eighty year old couple decided to take separate vacations. After several days, the husband calls his wife and tells her, "I met a twenty year old woman and I'm having a great time!" The wife responds, "Yeah? Well I met a twenty year old man and I'm having more fun than your are!" The husband asks her, "What makes you so sure?" The wife replies, "Simple math. Twenty goes into eighty more times than eighty goes into twenty!"

04-15-2017, 04:06 PM - 1 Like   #455
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I met a man yesterday with one leg called Bert.

I don't know what his other leg was called.
Ernie.
04-16-2017, 11:25 PM   #456
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
I met a man yesterday with one leg called Bert.

I don't know what his other leg was called.
I enjoyed Mary Poppins too, well at least for the first couple of times.....
04-17-2017, 03:36 AM   #457
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Ok, let's make this one interactive :

Knock, knock
04-17-2017, 04:33 AM   #458
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QuoteOriginally posted by 35mmfilmfan Quote
Ok, let's make this one interactive :

Knock, knock
I'll bite


Who's there?

04-17-2017, 08:20 AM   #459
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Giraffe
04-17-2017, 10:31 AM   #460
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Giraffe who?
04-17-2017, 10:46 AM   #461
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We wait with baited breath.


******


Giraffic Park?

You bet giraffe?

What?
04-17-2017, 12:41 PM - 1 Like   #462
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It's a bit like the old joke.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.
04-17-2017, 01:12 PM   #463
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Worse than waiting to find out why a raven is like a writing desk.
04-17-2017, 01:55 PM - 3 Likes   #464
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The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

04-17-2017, 02:04 PM   #465
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Sorry for dleleay - been celelelebrating mu brithday !!! hic !!!!

Wait for it . . . . . .

Giraffe to ask silly questions, it's freezing out here !
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