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02-12-2022, 01:39 AM - 4 Likes   #4726
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I like the one about Mullah Nasruddin who told the gathering of villagers:-
Nasruddin: I have seen the king, and he spoke to me!
Villagers: Ooooh!
Village idiot: What did he say??
Nasruddin: (whispers) Get out of the way!


02-12-2022, 10:05 AM - 5 Likes   #4727
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Me:
I don't believe I've played golf this badly before.

My caddie:
I didn't realize you had played golf before, Sir.
02-12-2022, 10:46 AM - 1 Like   #4728
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QuoteOriginally posted by robtcorl Quote
Me:
I don't believe I've played golf this badly before.

My caddie:
I didn't realize you had played golf before, Sir.
That describes my golf game, and why I gave it up.
02-12-2022, 10:48 AM - 2 Likes   #4729
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QuoteOriginally posted by Photos-by-Chas Quote
That describes my golf game, and why I gave it up.
“Golf.A good walk spoiled!”

02-12-2022, 10:52 AM - 2 Likes   #4730
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I think Robin Williams sums up golf quite well - look up the bit if you haven't seen it
02-12-2022, 10:54 AM - 4 Likes   #4731
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Baseball: Someone is trying to hit a ball that's moving at 90+ miles per hour and the onlookers are screaming their heads off.

Golf: Someone is trying to hit a ball that's completely stationary but everybody has to be absolutely silent.
02-12-2022, 03:11 PM - 8 Likes   #4732
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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.
“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”
“No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”

02-12-2022, 10:09 PM - 3 Likes   #4733
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02-13-2022, 09:05 AM - 2 Likes   #4734
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QuoteOriginally posted by robtcorl Quote
Me:
I don't believe I've played golf this badly before.

My caddie:
I didn't realize you had played golf before, Sir.
QuoteOriginally posted by Photos-by-Chas Quote
That describes my golf game, and why I gave it up.
QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
“Golf.A good walk spoiled!”
QuoteOriginally posted by bertwert Quote
I think Robin Williams sums up golf quite well - look up the bit if you haven't seen it
QuoteOriginally posted by Parallax Quote
Baseball: Someone is trying to hit a ball that's moving at 90+ miles per hour and the onlookers are screaming their heads off.

Golf: Someone is trying to hit a ball that's completely stationary but everybody has to be absolutely silent.
Golf is pasture pool.

A great way to spend the day with your best buddies, hacking about the pasture drinking beer.
02-14-2022, 03:37 AM   #4735
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joke

02-14-2022, 12:20 PM - 2 Likes   #4736
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QuoteOriginally posted by Racer X 69 Quote
Golf is pasture pool.

A great way to spend the day with your best buddies, hacking about the pasture drinking beer.
It's even better if you throw away the clubs, stop walking and drink beer.
02-14-2022, 03:59 PM   #4737
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QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
It's even better if you throw away the clubs, stop walking and drink beer.
Well, I suppose. Don't need a reason to drink beer.

But I rather enjoy the clubs and the walk, particularly on a nice day, although I have played when the greens and fairways were frozen. Backspin is pointless when the playing field is frozen. The ball keeps going.

But yeah, walking around a pasture, drinking beer, and smacking little white balls helps shed the aggression built up from a week in the Rat Race. Every swing is a swing at one of many Jackwads that challenged my resolve.

I always feel cleansed after a round of pasture pool. 9 holes is good, 18 even better.

Oh, and sometimes we have a Cuban. I prefer the Cohiba.
02-14-2022, 05:12 PM - 1 Like   #4738
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But see, if you walk around your pool table at home, there's no need to stray too far from the fridge or find the ball in the rough!
02-14-2022, 05:17 PM - 10 Likes   #4739
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Back to jokes....

As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, "Honey, I've got something to confess: I'm a golf nut, and every chance I get, I'll be playing golf!"

"Since we're being honest," replies the bride, "I have to tell you that I'm a hooker."

The groom replies, "That's okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight.”
02-14-2022, 06:59 PM - 1 Like   #4740
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QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
It's even better if you throw away the clubs, stop walking and drink beer.
I'm not much of a beer drinker so I get my fresh air and mental cleansing via "wind therapy" while riding my motorcycle.
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