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**WPRESTO** · 08-16-2022, 03:08 AM - **1 Like**

There's an old saying: Be nice to nerds - chances are you'll be working for one.

Unregistered User 8 · 08-22-2022, 06:05 AM - **7 Likes**

.....

**Photos-by-Chas** · 08-22-2022, 03:18 PM - **1 Like**

pjv, Now that is hilarious. Love it.

que es tu · 08-25-2022, 11:45 AM - **9 Likes**

Did you hear about the thief in Asheville, NC who is stealing the wheels off of cop cars? The police are working “tirelessly” to catch him!!!

Parallax · 08-28-2022, 09:25 AM - **12 Likes**

Why will Americans never switch to the metric system?

Because we won't accept a foreign ruler.

**richard0170** · 08-28-2022, 10:39 PM - **4 Likes**

Crossing the local bridge over the river whilst walking the dog early this morning, I noticed three egrets plying their trade in the margins.

"Hmmm..." I thought ....

"Egrets, I've seen a few,
But then again too few to mention..."

Parallax · 09-02-2022, 06:40 AM - **12 Likes**

After reading about all of the negative effects of drinking, and eating fried foods I've decided to make a serious lifestyle change,
As of today I quit reading.

bobD · 09-03-2022, 02:34 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

After reading about all of the negative effects of drinking, and eating fried foods I've decided to make a serious lifestyle change,
As of today I quit reading.

Sad to hear....that must curtail your activities on the forum

Though there are workarounds :-)

Hope this helps....

**clackers** · 09-06-2022, 05:04 PM - **8 Likes**

The old 'Police Academy' lectern setup ...

Parallax · 09-06-2022, 06:15 PM - **3 Likes**

That makes me think of the words of Popeye the Sailor. "Well blow me down!"

lesmore49 · 09-06-2022, 09:05 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Parallax

That makes me think of the words of Popeye the Sailor. "Well blow me down!"

Ahh yes.

I know what you mean, as I'm a ... student of history.

**WPRESTO** · 09-08-2022, 02:10 PM - **7 Likes**

From time to time I get a catalog that offers dozens of T-shirts with curious statements on them. Many fall into the category of insults, the kind of one-liners common on some insult-driven TV comedy shows. Here are some that caught my attention (re: these are billboarded on a T-shirt)

Ten reasons to procrastinate: 1)

If all is not lost, where is it?

I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter.

I recycle - I wore this shirt yesterday.

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

I'm morally flexible - - physically not so much.

I thought growing old would take much longer.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

I work for money. If you want loyalty, get a dog.

I practice sarcasm because killing people is illegal.

No need to vaccinate all your kids - only the ones you want to keep.

Someday when scientists locate the center of the Universe, many people will be disappointed that it isn't them.

I don't understand your specific type of crazy, but I admire your commitment to it.

I doubt the existence of skepticism

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.

If you boil a funny bone do you get laughing stock?

Earth without art is just "eh."

To the guy who discovered zero: Thanks for nothing.

I'm diagonally parked in a parallel Universe.

I'm not arguing with you. I'm explaining why I'm right

I think, therefore we have nothing in common.

If sarcasm burned calories I'd be skinny.

I'm starting to think that I'll never be old enough to know better.

AND one of my own

Cynicism is truth you recognize but don't want to acknowledge.

Parallax · 09-08-2022, 04:34 PM

LOL!

My favorite: Someday when scientists locate the center of the Universe, many people will be disappointed that it isn't them.

MarkJerling · 09-08-2022, 08:31 PM

Originally posted by WPRESTO

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

My favorite!

**WPRESTO** · 09-09-2022, 03:36 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

My favorite!

It is a minor truth that sticks in the mind of every college professor - - believe me.

08-22-2022, 06:05 AM - 7 Likes	#4967
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	..... Attached Images

09-03-2022, 02:34 AM - 1 Like	#4973
bobD Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Waikikamukau Photos: Albums Posts: 1,248	Originally posted by Parallax After reading about all of the negative effects of drinking, and eating fried foods I've decided to make a serious lifestyle change, As of today I quit reading. Sad to hear....that must curtail your activities on the forum Though there are workarounds :-) Hope this helps.... Attached Images

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08-16-2022, 03:08 AM - 1 Like	#4966
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	There's an old saying: Be nice to nerds - chances are you'll be working for one.

08-22-2022, 03:18 PM - 1 Like	#4968
Photos-by-Chas Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Northwest Pennsylvania, USA Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,318	pjv, Now that is hilarious. Love it.

08-25-2022, 11:45 AM - 9 Likes	#4969
que es tu Pentaxian Join Date: Feb 2020 Location: Smoky Mountains, NC Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,605	Did you hear about the thief in Asheville, NC who is stealing the wheels off of cop cars? The police are working “tirelessly” to catch him!!!

08-28-2022, 09:25 AM - 12 Likes	#4970
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Why will Americans never switch to the metric system? Because we won't accept a foreign ruler.

08-28-2022, 10:39 PM - 4 Likes	#4971
richard0170 Site Supporter Join Date: Feb 2017 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 2,034	Crossing the local bridge over the river whilst walking the dog early this morning, I noticed three egrets plying their trade in the margins. "Hmmm..." I thought .... "Egrets, I've seen a few, But then again too few to mention..."

09-02-2022, 06:40 AM - 12 Likes	#4972
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	After reading about all of the negative effects of drinking, and eating fried foods I've decided to make a serious lifestyle change, As of today I quit reading.

09-06-2022, 05:04 PM - 8 Likes	#4974
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	The old 'Police Academy' lectern setup ...

09-06-2022, 06:15 PM - 3 Likes	#4975
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	That makes me think of the words of Popeye the Sailor. "Well blow me down!"

09-06-2022, 09:05 PM - 1 Like	#4976
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,350	Originally posted by Parallax That makes me think of the words of Popeye the Sailor. "Well blow me down!" Ahh yes. I know what you mean, as I'm a ... student of history.

09-08-2022, 02:10 PM - 7 Likes	#4977
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	From time to time I get a catalog that offers dozens of T-shirts with curious statements on them. Many fall into the category of insults, the kind of one-liners common on some insult-driven TV comedy shows. Here are some that caught my attention (re: these are billboarded on a T-shirt) Ten reasons to procrastinate: 1) If all is not lost, where is it? I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter. I recycle - I wore this shirt yesterday. A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom. I'm morally flexible - - physically not so much. I thought growing old would take much longer. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I work for money. If you want loyalty, get a dog. I practice sarcasm because killing people is illegal. No need to vaccinate all your kids - only the ones you want to keep. Someday when scientists locate the center of the Universe, many people will be disappointed that it isn't them. I don't understand your specific type of crazy, but I admire your commitment to it. I doubt the existence of skepticism Any book worth banning is a book worth reading. If you boil a funny bone do you get laughing stock? Earth without art is just "eh." To the guy who discovered zero: Thanks for nothing. I'm diagonally parked in a parallel Universe. I'm not arguing with you. I'm explaining why I'm right I think, therefore we have nothing in common. If sarcasm burned calories I'd be skinny. I'm starting to think that I'll never be old enough to know better. AND one of my own Cynicism is truth you recognize but don't want to acknowledge.

09-08-2022, 04:34 PM	#4978
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	LOL! My favorite: Someday when scientists locate the center of the Universe, many people will be disappointed that it isn't them.

09-08-2022, 08:31 PM	#4979
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	Originally posted by WPRESTO I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. My favorite!

09-09-2022, 03:36 AM - 1 Like	#4980
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	Originally posted by MarkJerling My favorite! It is a minor truth that sticks in the mind of every college professor - - believe me.

The Joke Thread

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