The Joke Thread

Liney · 05-16-2023, 05:53 PM - **3 Likes**

Just remember, fried potatoes (Chips for the non-US) when fried in vegetable oil are considered a vegan meal option.

That's what I tell my wife when she asks what I had to lunch at work.

**ehrwien** · 05-22-2023, 09:02 AM - **5 Likes**

When you die, what is the last part of your body to stop working?

Your pupils. They dilate.

35mmfilmfan · 05-22-2023, 03:26 PM

Originally posted by ehrwien

When you die, what is the last part of your body to stop working?

Your pupils. They dilate.

In the UK, should you have had the misfortune to have been murdered, they dilate - they then dial 999.

(Borrowed from Mike Absolom)

**ehrwien** · 05-23-2023, 06:34 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

they then dial 999

Oh haven't you heard? There's a new number now:

You Tube

que es tu · 05-23-2023, 07:11 AM - **6 Likes**

Did you hear about the actor who fell through a trapdoor? It was just a stage he was going through!!

disconnekt · 05-23-2023, 02:14 PM - **4 Likes**

A friend got a horse recently. He named him mayo. And sometimes mayo neighs.

**clackers** · 05-25-2023, 08:34 PM - **9 Likes**

que es tu · 05-28-2023, 07:49 AM - **2 Likes**

Puns best read out loud:

I wrote a song about tortillas the other day! Well, actually it’s more of a RAP!!!

I’m an archeologist, my life is in RUINS!!

I told Samual to sing a song about an i-phone, then SAM SUNG!!!!!!

It’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow, I’m DREADIN’ it!!!

What is the wettest country? England, because of all the kings and queens who have REIGNED there!!!

35mmfilmfan · 05-29-2023, 01:19 AM - **2 Likes**

Eire is the richest country in the world.

Why ?

Because its capital is always Dublin

**clackers** · 06-01-2023, 04:42 PM - **8 Likes**

lesmore49 · 06-01-2023, 07:20 PM - **4 Likes**

I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20.

**WPRESTO** · 06-02-2023, 03:40 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by lesmore49

I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20.

And for a hearty meal, Dinty Moore beef stew on rice.

FYI and news to me:

Dinty Moore – That familiar name on canned beef stew was taken from a character in George McManus's 1913 cartoon strip Bringing Up Father, inspired by a real restaurateur, James Moore, who ran a bustling Irish tavern and restaurant in midtown Manhattan.

35mmfilmfan · 06-02-2023, 04:51 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by lesmore49

I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20.

You had lawn chairs ? What was wrong with beer crates (wooden, of course), pray ? And a table made from an upturned cable drum (which ran away twice when lugging it up the stairs to the top flat - pardon me, 'Penthouse Suite' (so named because most of the walls were covered with centre 'spreads' from the world-famous magazine !).

Funny how all that changed when I got married . . . .

texandrews · 06-02-2023, 06:30 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

You had lawn chairs ? What was wrong with beer crates (wooden, of course), pray ? And a table made from an upturned cable drum (which ran away twice when lugging it up the stairs to the top flat - pardon me, 'Penthouse Suite' (so named because most of the walls were covered with centre 'spreads' from the world-famous magazine !).

Funny how all that changed when I got married . . . .

So, she didn't like the crates and drum? Or that it was a walk-up?

lesmore49 · 06-02-2023, 07:33 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by WPRESTO

And for a hearty meal, Dinty Moore beef stew on rice.

FYI and news to me:

Dinty Moore – That familiar name on canned beef stew was taken from a character in George McManus's 1913 cartoon strip Bringing Up Father, inspired by a real restaurateur, James Moore, who ran a bustling Irish tavern and restaurant in midtown Manhattan.

Ahh yes...I remember Dinty Moore beef stew. Before we got married, my wife was aghast at my diet.

She has improved it immeasurably.

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05-16-2023, 05:53 PM - 3 Likes	#5386
Liney Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 1,237	Just remember, fried potatoes (Chips for the non-US) when fried in vegetable oil are considered a vegan meal option. That's what I tell my wife when she asks what I had to lunch at work.

05-22-2023, 09:02 AM - 5 Likes	#5387
ehrwien Site Supporter Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 2,780	When you die, what is the last part of your body to stop working? Your pupils. They dilate.

05-22-2023, 03:26 PM	#5388
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,312	Originally posted by ehrwien When you die, what is the last part of your body to stop working? Your pupils. They dilate. In the UK, should you have had the misfortune to have been murdered, they dilate - they then dial 999. (Borrowed from Mike Absolom)

05-23-2023, 07:11 AM - 6 Likes	#5390
que es tu Pentaxian Join Date: Feb 2020 Location: Smoky Mountains, NC Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,602	Did you hear about the actor who fell through a trapdoor? It was just a stage he was going through!!

05-23-2023, 02:14 PM - 4 Likes	#5391
disconnekt Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: SoCal/I.E. Photos: Albums Posts: 1,699	A friend got a horse recently. He named him mayo. And sometimes mayo neighs.

05-25-2023, 08:34 PM - 9 Likes	#5392
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397

05-28-2023, 07:49 AM - 2 Likes	#5393
que es tu Pentaxian Join Date: Feb 2020 Location: Smoky Mountains, NC Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 1,602	Puns best read out loud: I wrote a song about tortillas the other day! Well, actually it’s more of a RAP!!! I’m an archeologist, my life is in RUINS!! I told Samual to sing a song about an i-phone, then SAM SUNG!!!!!! It’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow, I’m DREADIN’ it!!! What is the wettest country? England, because of all the kings and queens who have REIGNED there!!!

05-29-2023, 01:19 AM - 2 Likes	#5394
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,312	Eire is the richest country in the world. Why ? Because its capital is always Dublin

06-01-2023, 04:42 PM - 8 Likes	#5395
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397

06-01-2023, 07:20 PM - 4 Likes	#5396
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,325	I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20.

06-02-2023, 03:40 AM - 3 Likes	#5397
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,084	Originally posted by lesmore49 I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20. And for a hearty meal, Dinty Moore beef stew on rice. FYI and news to me: Dinty Moore – That familiar name on canned beef stew was taken from a character in George McManus's 1913 cartoon strip Bringing Up Father, inspired by a real restaurateur, James Moore, who ran a bustling Irish tavern and restaurant in midtown Manhattan.

06-02-2023, 04:51 AM - 3 Likes	#5398
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,312	Originally posted by lesmore49 I remember those days....1" X 6" boards, some cinder blocks...and voila...you have yourself a bookshelf....to put right by the two lawn chairs in your living room, in your small apartment. Think I was 20. You had lawn chairs ? What was wrong with beer crates (wooden, of course), pray ? And a table made from an upturned cable drum (which ran away twice when lugging it up the stairs to the top flat - pardon me, 'Penthouse Suite' (so named because most of the walls were covered with centre 'spreads' from the world-famous magazine !). Funny how all that changed when I got married . . . .

06-02-2023, 06:30 AM - 3 Likes	#5399
texandrews Moderator Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Baltimore Photos: Albums Posts: 3,390	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan You had lawn chairs ? What was wrong with beer crates (wooden, of course), pray ? And a table made from an upturned cable drum (which ran away twice when lugging it up the stairs to the top flat - pardon me, 'Penthouse Suite' (so named because most of the walls were covered with centre 'spreads' from the world-famous magazine !). Funny how all that changed when I got married . . . . So, she didn't like the crates and drum? Or that it was a walk-up?

06-02-2023, 07:33 AM - 1 Like	#5400
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,325	Originally posted by WPRESTO And for a hearty meal, Dinty Moore beef stew on rice. FYI and news to me: Dinty Moore – That familiar name on canned beef stew was taken from a character in George McManus's 1913 cartoon strip Bringing Up Father, inspired by a real restaurateur, James Moore, who ran a bustling Irish tavern and restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Ahh yes...I remember Dinty Moore beef stew. Before we got married, my wife was aghast at my diet. She has improved it immeasurably.

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