[Parallax]

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."

And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father’s time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.

Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there.

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash

[AggieDad]

My Dad was an Aggie, and Corp of Cadet graduate...so is my youngest son. Both were Army retirees, My Dad a Bird Col.....my son a Lt Col. My Dad was a WWII veteran, my son a Gulf War and Afghanistan veteran.

The best one of course is "What do you call an Aggie a year after graduation?" The Boss! ...and that's no joke!
Regards!

A colonel for a dad, and a colonel for a son, and you play with squirrels?

Coming from Philly, I obviously had "no dog in the fight" when it came to whether or not my daughter chose a (or any) Texas school for her college. She was a Merit Scholar and pretty much could have gone to any school in the country. I learned that Merit Scholars were courted by everyone because the number of "Merits" on campus was a recruiting tool. Why she chose A&M over everyplace else in the country is still a bit of a mystery to me, but she is a lot smarter than her dad and definitely made the right choice. Her experiences there were fantastic. Obviously my AggieDad screen name tells you I was more than pleased with her choice. As far as the "What do you call an Aggie a year after graduation?", nothing could be more true.

To keep this post germane to the thread, I'll leave you with one last Aggie joke.

The Aggies star wide receiver was home for the holidays and while he was walking around the neighbor he came across a home on fire. The fire department was not yet there, but a large crowd was gathered and looking at the second story window. There a woman was at the window with a small child in her arms, and she was screaming, "Save my baby! Save my baby!"

The Aggie, known as "Hands" to all his fans, rushed over and yelled, "I'll save the baby!" He looked up at the window and told the woman to drop the baby and he would catch it. He said, "I don't drop passes, and I won't drop your baby."

The crowd was cheering and encouraging the woman with shouts of, "Drop the baby!" Hands will save your baby!"

The woman had no other choice as the flames were getting closer. She dropped the child and the Aggie drew a bead on it. The baby fell into his hands and he softly cradled it to his chest. The baby was safe.

The crowd went wild. "The baby is safe!" "Hands saved the baby!" "Hands is a hero!"

Hands heard the cheers, did a little victory dance, shouted, "Awright!", and spiked the kid.

---------- Post added 05-06-16 at 11:13 AM ----------

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."

And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father’s time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.

Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there.

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash

Parallax I love this!

I will send this to my attorney daughter and tell her I will not accept checks, credit cards or PayPal. I want cash only.

[Rupert]

Some funny stuff here!

A colonel for a dad, and a colonel for a son, and you play with squirrels?

Yep, and I'm not even an Aggie! Strict discipline was never for me. However, I am my Mom's favorite son....her only son.
She owns 100% royalty on 5 high producing gas wells....so I was smart enough to keep her from ever wanting any more boys....and I did a damn good job of it!

Love the jokes here, they brighten the day!

Regards!

[Tonytee]

I wonder if anybody has heard about the new Polish Navy. Well, the new Polish Navy how has glass bottom boats. That is so they can see the Old Polish Navy. )))

Tonytee

---------- Post added 05-06-16 at 12:49 PM ----------

During the 1950s and 1960s there was what was once known as, "The Race for Space." The United States was the first nation to put a man on the moon. Then the Soviet Union as well as other nations. Well the country of Poland decided they were going to do what is known as, "One upmanship" so they announced to the world that they were going to land a man on the sun.
Of course the entire world was flabbergasted at the idea and was told that no one could land a man on the sun because it was too hot. Then Poland announced, "Well, of course we know that, what do you think we are? Idiots? They further announced that, "We are going to go at night." Geeez, I love that joke.

Tonytee

[Riggomatic]

What’s green, fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree...........


A pool table.

[MarkJerling]

How do you get an elephant into a Mini?


Open the door.


How do you get 2 elephants into a Mini?



Open both doors.



How do you get four elephants into a Mini?



Two in the front. Two in the back.



How do you know if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?



Footprints in the butter.



How do you know if there's four elephants in your refrigerator?



There's a Mini parked out front.

[timb64]

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: "I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."

And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father’s time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.

Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there.

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash

Lawyer jokes,one of the last socially acceptable forms of prejudice.If you or a loved one are a lawyer,substitute "politician" for lawyer.If you're a politician with a legal background,tough you had it coming!

Two lawyers are in line at the bank when it's raided.As the robbers walk down the line relieving the customers of their cash and valuables one lawyer turns to the other and says "Hey Fred, here's that $100 I owe you".

What do you call a cruise liner full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A start!

How do you stop a lawyer drowning?
Take your foot off his neck!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a sack of manure?
The sack!

[Parallax]

Lawyer jokes,one of the last socially acceptable forms of prejudice.If you or a loved one are a lawyer,substitute "politician" for lawyer.If you're a politician with a legal background,tough you had it coming!

LOL

[Tonytee]

Here is one for ya. What do sperm cells and lawyers have in common? They both stand about a million to one chance of actually turning into a human being. )

Tonytee

[MarkJerling]

While we're on the topic of lawyer jokes: What's the difference between A Mississippi Mud Fish and a Lawyer?

The one is a bottom dwelling, scum sucking invertebrate, and the other is a fish.

[ivanvernon]

Question: Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep instead of the traditional 6 feet?

Answer: Because deep down lawyers are really good people.

[Parallax]

Young boy: "Dad, did you know that in some countries you don't know who your wife is until you get married?"

Dad: "It's like that everywhere, son."

[bxf]

Two mathematicians sit at an outdoor cafe. As they sip their drinks, they notice a person enter the house across the way. A few minutes later, they notice two people leave the house across the way.

After a moment, one mathematician turns to the other and says: "Now if someone else enters the house, it'll be empty again."

---------- Post added 12-05-16 at 19:50 ----------

What does Saddam and General Custer have in common?
Both were wondering where the hell all those Tomahawks came from...

---------- Post added 12-05-16 at 19:51 ----------

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

[p38arover]

"The problem lies in the unique design of the Texas
quarter, which was created by a Texas A&M grad student," Shackleford said.
"Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together
keeps jamming the coin-operated devices."

It won't be problem here, soon. The govt. is dropping the 5 cent coin, it costs 6 cents to make. We dumped the 1 and 2 cent coins years ago.

[Parallax]

It won't be problem here, soon. The govt. is dropping the 5 cent coin, it costs 6 cents to make. We dumped the 1 and 2 cent coins years ago.

The same problem here with the penny; but we aren't smart enough to eliminate it.