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07-15-2018, 03:07 AM - 8 Likes   #916
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A group of men are getting changed in the changing room of a rather select gentlemans club, when a mobile phone rings. One man pick it up and said "Hello?" the rest of the men heard one side of the conversation which went something like this:

"Yes i know what you're talking about"
"Well how much is it? 20 thousand?"
"Well for that price why not get two"
"Yes, two"
"Well I'm sure there is somewhere you can put the second one?"
"Yes the other one could be at the weekend country house"
"If you think there needs to be another new BMW get one"
"Why bother with a 5 series, just go for a 7 series.."
"Anything for you....bye"!

The man disconnected the call and looked at the mobile phone. He then looked around the other men who had been listening intently to the conversation

"Anyone know who's phone this is?"

07-22-2018, 05:26 AM - 2 Likes   #917
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Wife says to her husband during a love making session: " Oh darling, please say dirty things to me !! "




Husband: " The bathroom, and the kitchen floor. "
07-27-2018, 10:10 AM - 5 Likes   #918
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad I finally had to take his bike away.
07-27-2018, 10:29 AM - 7 Likes   #919
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I couldn’t believe that the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.

07-27-2018, 10:38 AM - 1 Like   #920
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If you saw a drowning person and you were to choose between saving them or capturing the moment, what aperture will you use?

07-27-2018, 10:45 AM - 7 Likes   #921
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https://xkcd.com/1014/

07-27-2018, 03:02 PM - 10 Likes   #922
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Want to see if your wife or your dog loves you best?

Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour, then see which one is most glad to see you.
07-27-2018, 03:29 PM   #923
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QuoteOriginally posted by torashi Quote
If you saw a drowning person and you were to choose between saving them or capturing the moment, what aperture will you use?
Hmmmnnn....tough one....F8.

07-28-2018, 04:19 AM - 1 Like   #924
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QuoteOriginally posted by lesmore49 Quote
Hmmmnnn....tough one....F8.
The question was asked before, and the correct answer is : be sure the lens is WR because the subject might be heedlessly splashing.
07-28-2018, 10:42 PM   #925
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As Nelly would sing: It's getting dark in here, so drop off all your jokes…

07-29-2018, 01:05 AM   #926
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QuoteOriginally posted by torashi Quote
If you saw a drowning person and you were to choose between saving them or capturing the moment, what aperture will you use?
I would do both save them in raw+jpeg and use f/4
07-29-2018, 11:01 AM   #927
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QuoteOriginally posted by torashi Quote
Sometimes XKCD just "gets it"
07-29-2018, 03:05 PM - 3 Likes   #928
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QuoteOriginally posted by robtcorl Quote
Want to see if your wife or your dog loves you best?

Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour, then see which one is most glad to see you.
Dang Bob. I have coffee coming out of my nose.
07-29-2018, 04:50 PM - 5 Likes   #929
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Two elderly women had been friends for many decades.

Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.

One day, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me … I know we've been friends a long time but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought but can't remember it! Please tell me."

Her friend glared at her for a long time, then sighed: "How soon do you need to know?"
07-30-2018, 02:17 PM - 3 Likes   #930
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When does a joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes a parent.


.... I'll show myself out.
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