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01-09-2019, 05:16 PM   #1276
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Thanks, Bob, non'-Americans may never have seen her, but for some who've seen SNL on a cable channel or whatever, she"s been parodied many times.



01-10-2019, 10:19 AM   #1277
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
Thanks, Bob, non'-Americans may never have seen her, but for some who've seen SNL on a cable channel or whatever, she"s been parodied many times.
case in point

Baba Wawa, SNL
01-20-2019, 04:46 PM - 9 Likes   #1278
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A woman is at a wake for her beloved husband, talking to an old friend.

'It's tragic really that Alf died because no one knew his blood type.' the widow said.

'I'll never forget the inspirational last words he whispered to me: 'Be positive.'
01-23-2019, 03:29 PM - 6 Likes   #1279
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01-27-2019, 05:55 AM - 4 Likes   #1280
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Collected my brother in law’s dogs from the kennels today and this was on the wall

01-27-2019, 08:54 AM   #1281
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QuoteOriginally posted by timb64 Quote
Collected my brother in law’s dogs from the kennels today and this was on the wall
about spit my coffee out!
01-30-2019, 09:04 AM - 2 Likes   #1282
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I crossed a dog with a chicken and got a free range rover
01-30-2019, 08:34 PM - 8 Likes   #1283
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A young realtor was pushing hard to sell an apartment to an old codger.

After highlighting its many features, he ended his routine with: "Remember, Mr Brown, this is an investment for the future."

"Listen, young man," said Mr Brown wearily, "At my stage of life I don't even buy green bananas."


Last edited by clackers; 01-30-2019 at 09:36 PM.
02-01-2019, 01:36 PM - 1 Like   #1284
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Good one, Clackers.

On the topic of aging
[if you don't know US television, please jump to the next post now]

Vanna White is getting old. She's glad she can still move her vowels
02-05-2019, 05:25 AM - 7 Likes   #1285
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The Gregorian calendar

02-05-2019, 09:11 AM   #1286
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QuoteOriginally posted by bxf Quote
The Gregorian calendar
Took me a moment to get it. Groan.

- Craig
02-09-2019, 08:44 AM - 1 Like   #1287
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One of my favorites

Q: I hear you work at (insert your employer's name here).
Do many people work there?

A: Oh, about 50%.


Sadly not so much a joke but more an apt description of some of my jobs...

Chris
02-09-2019, 08:13 PM - 1 Like   #1288
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If we're going for the old ones:

Whats a greek urn?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
about 700 euros a month
02-11-2019, 05:12 PM - 3 Likes   #1289
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One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."

`Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."
"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
02-11-2019, 05:17 PM - 3 Likes   #1290
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First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."
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