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02-12-2019, 08:00 PM - 13 Likes   #1291
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A bloke is caught by a ranger eating a roasted swamp wallaby and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a protected animal is an offence?"

Man: "Your honour, I'll explain what happened. It ran into my 4WD and was really hurt. I put it out of its misery and thought, it's roadkill, and my bad, reckoned it's part of nature not to waste anything. It was a mistake, and I would not do anything like it again."

The judge listens to the tale and rules that the man is not guilty. "Accidents happen, and you recognize that you shouldn't have done what happened next. Well, now that we're done with all that, just between you and me, I admit that I am curious to know, what does swamp wallaby taste like?"

"Well, your honour, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe is maybe kind of between a platypus and a wedge tailed eagle."

02-12-2019, 10:30 PM - 1 Like   #1292
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
A bloke is caught by a ranger eating a roasted swamp wallaby and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:

Judge: "Do you know that eating a protected animal is an offence?"

Man: "Your honour, I'll explain what happened. It ran into my 4WD and was really hurt. I put it out of its misery and thought, it's roadkill, and my bad, reckoned it's part of nature not to waste anything. It was a mistake, and I would not do anything like it again."

The judge listens to the tale and rules that the man is not guilty. "Accidents happen, and you recognize that you shouldn't have done what happened next. Well, now that we're done with all that, just between you and me, I admit that I am curious to know, what does swamp wallaby taste like?"

"Well, your honour, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe is maybe kind of between a platypus and a wedge tailed eagle."

Thnx Clackers, very humorous. As they say, "Aussies have all the fun." TT
02-13-2019, 05:50 AM   #1293
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
A bloke is caught by a ranger eating a roasted swamp wallaby...
The ranger should have known better...

OR

Was the ranger still holding the wallaby as he was chasing the bloke?

02-13-2019, 11:39 AM   #1294
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QuoteOriginally posted by bxf Quote
The ranger should have known better...

OR

Was the ranger still holding the wallaby as he was chasing the bloke?

He was a good multitasker, wasn't he?


Last edited by clackers; 02-13-2019 at 03:22 PM.
02-14-2019, 02:08 PM - 7 Likes   #1295
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After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had,
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.

As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear.

She said; "Who Was That Guy?”
02-14-2019, 06:08 PM - 2 Likes   #1296
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QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had,
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.

As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear.

She said; "Who Was That Guy?”
He's
"COLDFINGER
He's the man, the man with the Minus touch
A spider's touch
Such a Cold finger
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don't go in ....."

He stores his gloves in a freezer while his "MedTec" Elvira draws a pint of my blood.


RONC
02-15-2019, 09:29 AM   #1297
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QuoteOriginally posted by rechmbrs Quote
He's
"COLDFINGER
He's the man, the man with the Minus touch
A spider's touch
Such a Cold finger
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don't go in ....."

He stores his gloves in a freezer while his "MedTec" Elvira draws a pint of my blood.


RONC
02-15-2019, 01:46 PM   #1298
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QuoteOriginally posted by Tako Kichi Quote

If no one knew who this guy was, how do they know he was using his finger? (

TT

By the way, the word is; Midus Touch. King Midus, who everything he touched turned to gold.

TT

02-15-2019, 05:24 PM - 4 Likes   #1299
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Chinese Sick Leave

Ho Chow calls into work and say, "Hey, I no come to work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt, I no come to work."

The boss says, "You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Ho Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon....You got nice house."
02-15-2019, 05:36 PM   #1300
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QuoteOriginally posted by Tonytee Quote
If no one knew who this guy was, how do they know he was using his finger? (



TT



By the way, the word is; Midus Touch. King Midus, who everything he touched turned to gold.



TT
It's actually Midas.

His food, his daughter, all turned to gold. It's another tale that warns about being careful for what one wishes for.

02-15-2019, 06:14 PM   #1301
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QuoteOriginally posted by Tonytee Quote
If no one knew who this guy was, how do they know he was using his finger? (

TT

By the way, the word is; Midus Touch. King Midus, who everything he touched turned to gold.

TT
This guy has the Minus touch like in minus Centigrade! Just to hear him put on the near frozen latex glove will give one the shivers. No Gold from his touch.
RONC
02-15-2019, 11:09 PM - 3 Likes   #1302
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QuoteOriginally posted by MarkJerling Quote
After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had,
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.

As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear.

She said; "Who Was That Guy?”
A bloke goes to the doctor with an ailment that required a suppository, and the doctor started his treatment while he was still in the surgery.

The next day he asked his wife for assistance in inserting the next suppository. He dropped his trousers and best over the kitchen table while his wife donned the rubber gloves and lubricated her finger. As she inserted the suppository he husband yelped and jumped.

"I'm sorry dear, was I too rough?"

"No dear, I just remembered that when the doctor did that he had both hands on my shoulders...."
02-17-2019, 12:02 PM - 4 Likes   #1303
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02-20-2019, 07:33 AM - 3 Likes   #1304
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Trivia

Did we ever find out what the knights in white sat in?

Sex is great, but have you ever finally removed a popcorn kernel shell from your gums after 10 hours...?
02-21-2019, 02:34 PM   #1305
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This thread
Construction Equipment - Page 2 - PentaxForums.com
reminds me of a pun

What do you call a person who listens to political speeches?





A BULLDOZER
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