The Joke Thread

torashi · 05-23-2019, 09:58 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $15,000 ring..

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special. Price is immaterial.

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $140,000' the jeweller said. "It's the famous Azure Blue which belonged to a Maharajah."

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. Seeing this, the old man said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir ...There's no money in that account!'

'''I know,' said the old man... 'But let me tell you about my weekend.'"

This is no joke. It's precious life advice.

Liney · 05-24-2019, 10:54 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by MarkJerling

A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”

Did Roman medics refer to Intravenous drips as "Fours"?

Is that the time....?

bxf · 05-25-2019, 03:09 AM

Originally posted by WPRESTO

At first I thought I imagined one finger of each hand so the Roman was going to ask for ten beers.

That would be a binary 3.

torashi · 05-25-2019, 08:49 AM

Originally posted by bxf

That would be a binary 3.

You forgot to cross them in your mind.

bxf · 05-25-2019, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by WPRESTO

At first I thought I imagined one finger of each hand so the Roman was going to ask for ten beers.

Originally posted by torashi

You forgot to cross them in your mind.

That would look like an attempt at exorcism or something like that

Racer X 69 · 05-25-2019, 01:15 PM - **1 Like**

One finger from each hand would be 11.

torashi · 05-25-2019, 03:35 PM

Originally posted by bxf

That would look like an attempt at exorcism or something like that

Or just the hand sign to crucify someone.

torashi · 05-25-2019, 03:49 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

One finger from each hand would be 11.

Try joining them in an X pattern. Ten beers.

Racer X 69 · 05-25-2019, 03:52 PM

Originally posted by torashi

Try joining them in an X pattern. Ten beers.

There you go.

torashi · 05-25-2019, 03:58 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

There you go.

Yeah, remember they didn't understand Arabic numerals, which are in fact Indian, if I'm not mistaken…

So, where are all the dad jokes?

**clackers** · 05-30-2019, 03:19 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by torashi

So, where are all the dad jokes?

"People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician."

Glad to be of service, Torashi!

**WPRESTO** · 05-30-2019, 05:02 AM - **6 Likes**

Originally posted by clackers

"People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician."

Glad to be of service, Torashi!

Ohmy goodness. Give me a breaker. Switch to other puns before my fuse runs out, something to spark a filament of laughter if you have the capacity. Ample time to make a connection. You take the LED. etc. etc. etc. My son and I exchange such quips for about 30 minutes during an auto trip. Wife and daughter were moaning and screaming.

jack002 · 05-30-2019, 06:34 AM - **2 Likes**

One more pun about electricity? How could I resist!

Tako Kichi · 05-30-2019, 06:41 AM - **1 Like**

Current opinions on subject matter seem biased but they could flip-flop at any time and then we wouldn't know if we were coming or going, a bit AC/DC in fact.

robtcorl · 05-30-2019, 08:07 AM - **3 Likes**

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It’s a complex complex complex.

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05-23-2019, 09:58 PM - 1 Like	#1381
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by MarkJerling A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $15,000 ring.. The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special. Price is immaterial. At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $140,000' the jeweller said. "It's the famous Azure Blue which belonged to a Maharajah." The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. Seeing this, the old man said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir ...There's no money in that account!' '''I know,' said the old man... 'But let me tell you about my weekend.'" This is no joke. It's precious life advice.

05-24-2019, 10:54 PM - 2 Likes	#1382
Liney Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 1,237	Originally posted by MarkJerling A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.” Did Roman medics refer to Intravenous drips as "Fours"? Is that the time....?

05-25-2019, 03:09 AM	#1383
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Originally posted by WPRESTO At first I thought I imagined one finger of each hand so the Roman was going to ask for ten beers. That would be a binary 3.

05-25-2019, 08:49 AM	#1384
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by bxf That would be a binary 3. You forgot to cross them in your mind.

05-25-2019, 01:03 PM	#1385
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Originally posted by WPRESTO At first I thought I imagined one finger of each hand so the Roman was going to ask for ten beers. Originally posted by torashi You forgot to cross them in your mind. That would look like an attempt at exorcism or something like that

05-25-2019, 01:15 PM - 1 Like	#1386
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,073	One finger from each hand would be 11.

05-25-2019, 03:35 PM	#1387
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by bxf That would look like an attempt at exorcism or something like that Or just the hand sign to crucify someone.

05-25-2019, 03:49 PM - 1 Like	#1388
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by Racer X 69 One finger from each hand would be 11. Try joining them in an X pattern. Ten beers.

05-25-2019, 03:52 PM	#1389
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,073	Originally posted by torashi Try joining them in an X pattern. Ten beers. There you go.

05-25-2019, 03:58 PM - 1 Like	#1390
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by Racer X 69 There you go. Yeah, remember they didn't understand Arabic numerals, which are in fact Indian, if I'm not mistaken… So, where are all the dad jokes?

05-30-2019, 03:19 AM - 3 Likes	#1391
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Originally posted by torashi So, where are all the dad jokes? "People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician." Glad to be of service, Torashi!

05-30-2019, 05:02 AM - 6 Likes	#1392
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	Originally posted by clackers "People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician." Glad to be of service, Torashi! Ohmy goodness. Give me a breaker. Switch to other puns before my fuse runs out, something to spark a filament of laughter if you have the capacity. Ample time to make a connection. You take the LED. etc. etc. etc. My son and I exchange such quips for about 30 minutes during an auto trip. Wife and daughter were moaning and screaming.

05-30-2019, 06:34 AM - 2 Likes	#1393
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	One more pun about electricity? How could I resist!

05-30-2019, 06:41 AM - 1 Like	#1394
Tako Kichi Veteran Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: SW Ontario, Canada (ex-pat Brit) Posts: 1,296	Current opinions on subject matter seem biased but they could flip-flop at any time and then we wouldn't know if we were coming or going, a bit AC/DC in fact.

05-30-2019, 08:07 AM - 3 Likes	#1395
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.