[WPRESTO]

A group of ladies formed a crochet and macrame club. They called themselves "The Knotty Hookers."

[Unregistered User 8]

And God said unto John, " Come forth and thee shall be given eternal life."






John came fifth, and won a toaster.

[bxf]

Come forth and thee shall be given eternal life

I'm not sure I heard properly, but I think he said "thou", not "thee".

[bertwert]

DND (Department of National Defence) - Delegate 'n Disappear

[gifthorse]

A group of ladies formed a crochet and macrame club. They called themselves "The Knotty Hookers."

A local group of women who rescue wild burros.

[Unregistered User 8]

Two photographers are in the men’s room at the urinal. One guy is a Canonian and the other a Nikonian.
The Nikon guy finishes his business first. He simply zips his fly and heads for the door.
As he was leaving, the Canon guy turns his head towards him and says “ Excuse me, Canon photographers wash our hands when we are finished urinating.”
The Nikon guy says ” I understand, but us Nikon guys don’t pee on our hands.”


Top ten reasons to date a photographer:

1. They work well in the dark
2. They’re used to funny smells
3. They make things develop
4. They work well on many settings
5. They know how to focus
6. They can make big things look small and small things look big
7. They work well from many different angles
8. They zoom in and out. And in and out and in and out and in and out…
9. They shoot in many different locations
10. They can find the beauty in anything

St Peter and Lucifer were at the gates admiring the clouds when the subject got onto photography.
They couldn’t agree on whether Heaven or Hell had the best photographers, so they decided to arrange a photo contest.
St Peter rubbed his hands with glee and Lucifer demanded to know why he was looking so smug.
“ Well,” said St Peter, “in Heaven we have all the best photographers.”
Lucifer slowly raised his head, grinned and replied “Ah, but we have all the judges…”

[clackers]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him: "Bill, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on CityLink. Please be careful."

"Hell," replied Bill, "It's not just one car, there are hundreds of the idiots!"

[rechmbrs]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him: "Bill, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on CityLink. Please be careful."

"Hell," replied Bill, "It's not just one car, there are hundreds of the idiots!"

Are you inferring that senior citizen drivers are a problem? I'll have you know that I haven't driven on the sidewalk since Sunday. I have a good memory too but when did dpreview have a joke thread and Clarkers respond to it.

RONC

[WPRESTO]

Just heard about a group of young women who opened a pirate-themed saloon at a marina. They call it "The Filthy Oars."

[DW58]

Two young hillbillies went deer hunting for the first time.

One shoots a very nice buck and after dressing it out they each grab one of the deer's hind legs and start dragging it back.

One hour later they come upon a more seasoned hunter who tells them if they grab the deer by the antlers it will be easier to drag.

They take his advise and after another two hours they stop to rest.

One chimes in and says " That guy was right. It's much easier dragging it this way."

The other says " I agree. But we're getting farther away from the truck."

---------- Post added 08-23-17 at 09:31 AM ----------

Another hunting joke.

Two hunters get hopelessly lost in the mountains. After a couple of hours of wandering around in circles they stop to form a plan.

One says " I heard that if you get lost you should shoot three times into the air. This signals to others that someone needs help."

They agree that this is their best option so one of them shoots three times into the air. After an hour the other shoots three times into the air. They continue this throughout the day.

As the sun is setting one says " I sure hope someone shows up soon. We're almost out of arrows."

[clackers]

Are you inferring that senior citizen drivers are a problem? I'll have you know that I haven't driven on the sidewalk since Sunday. :

(Laughs)

when did dpreview have a joke thread and Clarkers respond to it.

Some would say all of DPR is a joke, Ron!

[rechmbrs]

(Laughs)



Some would say all of DPR is a joke, Ron!

Now if I could teach my spellchecker to use Clackers correctly.

I have to drive on sidewalks because some young types don't know how to park those extra long pickups. Six wheels, four doors, and full length bed and they park in compact only spaces! Two or three.

RONC ;}]

[clackers]

some young types don't know how to park those extra long pickups. Six wheels, four doors, and full length bed and they park in compact only spaces! ]

Yes, I'm going to have to cope with all the different habits when my wife and I visit the States again next year.

For the first couple of days, it will likely be me adjusting to driving on the other side of the road!

[DAZ]

I decided to go see the eclipse. As it was predicted that so many people would be going to see this eclipse I decided to go 2 days early so I could be rested on the day of the eclipse. After driving most of the day I finally set up camp just before the sun was setting. Too tired to do almost anything else I crawled into my sleeping bag and looked up at my tent thinking I would at least have all day tomorrow to relax and rest.

In the middle of the night as the wind was lightly blowing across my face I looked up and saw the most glorious sight. It was so dark I could not see my hand in front of my face but I could see the sky was full of stars. I could see the Milky Way and all the constellations.

With all the awe-inspiring splendor above me, one and only one all-encompassing question came to my mind. Where did my tent go?































The answer, to this important and relevant question, was the gentle breeze had blown the tent flap back that I’d forgotten to zipper and my head was hanging out the door.

DAZ

[rechmbrs]

Yes, I'm going to have to cope with all the different habits when my wife and I visit the States again next year.

For the first couple of days, it will likely be me adjusting to driving on the other side of the road!

Don't worry about which side you drive on. It seems like your choice now. Get a good (bad) lawyer and and the horde which was coming at you will be found in the wrong because you were politically correct when you waved your hand not your middle finger as the horde was.
RONC