Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a container of whiskey.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup..
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in whiskey . . . . . . Dead .
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
An old guy was sitting in the back, quickly raised his hand and said . . .
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't get worms!"
That pretty much ended the service!
---------- Post added 11-15-17 at 11:39 PM ----------
An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey.
He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden,
but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad
because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie
---------- Post added 11-16-17 at 12:27 AM ----------
Originally posted by AggieDad Com'on
Rupert. That's not a joke. It happens at least once every deer season.
But speaking of Aggie jokes (and in this part of Texas, who doesn't), here's one about a student taking a test.
Seems this Aggie was taking a true/false test (probably poli-sci) and was using a quarter to help with the answers. The professor looked on amused as the Ag would flip the coin, mark an answer; flip the coin, mark an answer; and so on. Finally he finished the test and put his head down and took a bit of a rest.
After about 5 minutes, he woke up, picked up his quarter and went back to page one of the test. He again started flipping the coin. Sometimes he would change an answer, and sometimes he would let it stand.
The professor could't figure out what he was doing, so finally, when his curiosity got the better of him, he went back and asked his student what the heck was going on. "Well Professor," said the Ag, "I'm checking my work."
I am sorry to say that in the less politically correct times of the 1950s when I grew up in Philadelphia, these were called Polak jokes. But they definitely are (and always have been) Aggie jokes as any Texan can tell you.
I will bet that you did not know that Texas is the reason that the United States was unable to go over to the Metric System. The reason being that in Texas, everything is measured by a "Crapload". Say, Bubba, you must have there, meeebeee, three or four craploads of firewood, there. True story. Just ask any Texan after he has had four or five Lonestars, in a chilled mug, of course.
Tonytee