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bertwert · 02-17-2018, 10:54 AM - **3 Likes**

Knock Knock

Who's there?

O. J.

O. J. who?

You can be on the jury then.

**clackers** · 02-18-2018, 09:16 PM

A reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. He sees a Bedouin pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge. The reporter stops and says, "Do you need some help?"

The owner tells him the camel won't budge but he's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's private parts with the bricks.

The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert.

The owner lifts his robe and says, "You'll have to do me now, I've got to catch that SOB!"

**WPRESTO** · 02-19-2018, 09:37 AM - **5 Likes**

When is one hug enough? Only when you rearrange the letters.

Unregistered User 8 · 02-23-2018, 12:46 AM - **5 Likes**

On his 65th birthday, my grandfather announced that for better health, he was going to walk 5 miles a day, every day of the week.

He turned 97 today.

We don't know where he is.

**WPRESTO** · 02-25-2018, 07:05 PM - **2 Likes**

We returned to the lawyer a few days after explaining what we wanted in our will to sign the papers. He set the document before us, reached out offering a pen and asked with a smile: "Who goes first?"

**clackers** · 02-27-2018, 03:37 AM - **2 Likes**

A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pygmy standing beside it.

Amazed, he asked "Did you kill that?!"

The pygmy said, "Yes."

The hunter asked, "How could a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?"

"I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"

"There are seventy of us." was the reply.

MarkJerling · 03-01-2018, 05:23 AM - **3 Likes**

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.

They called the blonde waitress over ready to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper."

But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: " Oh, sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

robtcorl · 03-01-2018, 07:07 AM

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch

Originally posted by MarkJerling

Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch

It was funny the first time Mark, not so much the second.

I get those double posts pretty often now too.

MarkJerling · 03-01-2018, 07:11 AM

Originally posted by robtcorl

It was funny the first time Mark, not so much the second.

I get those double posts pretty often now too.

Odd!

jeallen01 · 03-01-2018, 08:51 AM

Originally posted by robtcorl

...I get those double posts pretty often now too.

Me too, but possibly only from certain people (including Mark)

Tako Kichi · 03-01-2018, 09:25 AM

I've been seeing double posts from some people recently too but oddly enough in the case above I only see one post with the Mensa joke from Mark

robtcorl · 03-01-2018, 11:10 AM

Originally posted by Tako Kichi

I've been seeing double posts from some people recently too but oddly enough in the case above I only see one post with the Mensa joke from Mark

I think Mark deleted one, that's what I do when I have a double.

MarkJerling · 03-01-2018, 12:13 PM

Originally posted by robtcorl

I think Mark deleted one, that's what I do when I have a double.

You're onto me Bob!

robtcorl · 03-02-2018, 12:37 PM - **4 Likes**

A tourist from the city passed a farmhouse and saw a pig with a wooden leg. He went to the farmer and asked him about the pig.
The farmer said, "Oh, this is a great pig! There's no pig like him anywhere! Once, when I was plowing a field, the tractor tipped over and pinned my leg to the ground. This pig saw me and went to the house to get my wife. He saved my life!
"Another time, my wife and I were asleep in the house when a fire started. This pig woke us up and got us out of the house before it burned down. He saved me again! He's a wonderful pig!"

"But how did he get the wooden leg?", asked the tourist.
"Oh," said the farmer, "a pig like that, you don't eat all at once!"

Unregistered User 8 · 03-03-2018, 09:44 PM - **1 Like**

Married 42 years, Brian and Jennifer were at the breakfast table.

Jennifer - " Do you still love me Brian? "

Brian - " I love you as much as you love me, darling."

Jennifer - " Perhaps we should divorce then."

02-18-2018, 09:16 PM	#767
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	A reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. He sees a Bedouin pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge. The reporter stops and says, "Do you need some help?" The owner tells him the camel won't budge but he's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's private parts with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert. The owner lifts his robe and says, "You'll have to do me now, I've got to catch that SOB!" Last edited by clackers; 02-22-2018 at 04:41 AM.

03-01-2018, 08:51 AM	#775
jeallen01 Pentaxian Join Date: May 2008 Location: London, UK Posts: 1,697	Double posts Originally posted by robtcorl ...I get those double posts pretty often now too. Me too, but possibly only from certain people (including Mark)

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02-17-2018, 10:54 AM - 3 Likes	#766
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,172 Original Poster	Knock Knock Who's there? O. J. O. J. who? You can be on the jury then.

02-19-2018, 09:37 AM - 5 Likes	#768
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	When is one hug enough? Only when you rearrange the letters.

02-23-2018, 12:46 AM - 5 Likes	#769
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	On his 65th birthday, my grandfather announced that for better health, he was going to walk 5 miles a day, every day of the week. He turned 97 today. We don't know where he is.

02-25-2018, 07:05 PM - 2 Likes	#770
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	We returned to the lawyer a few days after explaining what we wanted in our will to sign the papers. He set the document before us, reached out offering a pen and asked with a smile: "Who goes first?"

02-27-2018, 03:37 AM - 2 Likes	#771
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pygmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked "Did you kill that?!" The pygmy said, "Yes." The hunter asked, "How could a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" "I killed it with my club." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" "There are seventy of us." was the reply.

03-01-2018, 05:23 AM - 3 Likes	#772
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local café. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds. The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the blonde waitress over ready to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper." But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: " Oh, sorry about that." She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

03-01-2018, 07:07 AM	#773
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by MarkJerling Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch Originally posted by MarkJerling Several of the Mensa members went out for lunch It was funny the first time Mark, not so much the second. I get those double posts pretty often now too.

03-01-2018, 07:11 AM	#774
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	Originally posted by robtcorl It was funny the first time Mark, not so much the second. I get those double posts pretty often now too. Odd!

03-01-2018, 09:25 AM	#776
Tako Kichi Veteran Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: SW Ontario, Canada (ex-pat Brit) Posts: 1,296	I've been seeing double posts from some people recently too but oddly enough in the case above I only see one post with the Mensa joke from Mark

03-01-2018, 11:10 AM	#777
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by Tako Kichi I've been seeing double posts from some people recently too but oddly enough in the case above I only see one post with the Mensa joke from Mark I think Mark deleted one, that's what I do when I have a double.

03-01-2018, 12:13 PM	#778
MarkJerling Moderator Site Supporter Join Date: May 2012 Location: Wairarapa, New Zealand Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 20,423	Originally posted by robtcorl I think Mark deleted one, that's what I do when I have a double. You're onto me Bob!

03-02-2018, 12:37 PM - 4 Likes	#779
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	A tourist from the city passed a farmhouse and saw a pig with a wooden leg. He went to the farmer and asked him about the pig. The farmer said, "Oh, this is a great pig! There's no pig like him anywhere! Once, when I was plowing a field, the tractor tipped over and pinned my leg to the ground. This pig saw me and went to the house to get my wife. He saved my life! "Another time, my wife and I were asleep in the house when a fire started. This pig woke us up and got us out of the house before it burned down. He saved me again! He's a wonderful pig!" "But how did he get the wooden leg?", asked the tourist. "Oh," said the farmer, "a pig like that, you don't eat all at once!"

03-03-2018, 09:44 PM - 1 Like	#780
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	Married 42 years, Brian and Jennifer were at the breakfast table. Jennifer - " Do you still love me Brian? " Brian - " I love you as much as you love me, darling." Jennifer - " Perhaps we should divorce then."

The Joke Thread

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