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08-19-2018, 06:40 AM - 3 Likes   #1021
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Dear IRS:

Your publication has become too long and confusing. Reading it is arduous and understanding it impossible. It has also become far too expensive. I can no longer afford to spend so much money and get so little in return. Therefore, I am cancelling my subscription. Delete my name from your mailing list. Do not attempt to contact me in person, by EMAIL or by phone. I have posted "no solicitors" signs, labeled your communications as "junk mail," and registered on the "do not call" list.

08-19-2018, 10:49 AM - 1 Like   #1022
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Dear IRS:

Your publication has become too long and confusing. Reading it is arduous and understanding it impossible. It has also become far too expensive. I can no longer afford to spend so much money and get so little in return. Therefore, I am cancelling my subscription. Delete my name from your mailing list. Do not attempt to contact me in person, by EMAIL or by phone. I have posted "no solicitors" signs, labeled your communications as "junk mail," and registered on the "do not call" list.
Funnily enough a very similar approach seems to work for big corporations like Amazon,Starbucks,etc in the UK

(Careful or we'll stray into forbidden territory!)
08-19-2018, 05:00 PM   #1023
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QuoteOriginally posted by WPRESTO Quote
Dear IRS:

Your publication has become too long and confusing. Reading it is arduous and understanding it impossible. It has also become far too expensive. I can no longer afford to spend so much money and get so little in return. Therefore, I am cancelling my subscription. Delete my name from your mailing list. Do not attempt to contact me in person, by EMAIL or by phone. I have posted "no solicitors" signs, labeled your communications as "junk mail," and registered on the "do not call" list.
Did you notice the black GMC Suburbans following you? Hubcaps have IRS in the middle engraved and filled with diamonds. Seems they are using face recognition to track you. Wonder where they got your picture?

How can you be guilty with a mug like that?

TONC
08-20-2018, 04:59 PM - 4 Likes   #1024
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This little Jewish old man has come down with some illness. He is worried, so he seeks out the best doctor in New York. He has the necessary consultations and treatments, all is taken care of, and he is presented with a $1000 invoice.

The old man looks at the bill and says to the doctor, "you know, $1000 may not be much to you, but for me, an old pensioner, it's a lot of money". The doctor thinks a moment and replies, "OK, let's make it $800".

The old man then says "doctor, I appreciate the gesture, but considering my measly monthly income, $800 is still a substantial sum". The doctor says, "OK, let's make it $600".

The old man says "thank you, doctor, but you do realize that for someone like me, even $600 is not chicken feed". So the doctor, annoyed, says "so can you pay $300?"

The old man replies "oh, bless you, doctor. But I must say that even $300 is an amount that takes me a fair bit of time to accumulate". The doctor, now completely pissed off, says "OK, you win. Let's write off the entire amount, and everything is free. But tell me, when you came to me, you knew that I was one of the most expensive doctors in New York, so why did you choose me?"

The old man replies "when it comes to my health, money is no object".

08-20-2018, 09:58 PM - 3 Likes   #1025
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Q. What did the mountain climber call his son?

A. Cliff!

Last edited by clackers; 08-20-2018 at 11:26 PM.
08-21-2018, 01:19 AM - 3 Likes   #1026
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08-21-2018, 01:50 AM - 4 Likes   #1027
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Q.What do you call a bloke without a spade?

A.Douglas

08-21-2018, 01:57 AM - 2 Likes   #1028
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Q. What do you call a bloke in a tree?

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08-21-2018, 02:15 AM - 3 Likes   #1029
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Q.What do you call a bloke in a bog?

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08-21-2018, 03:27 AM - 2 Likes   #1030
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An 80 year old man goes to the doctor because he has pain in one of his legs. The doctor does a thorough examination, but find nothing unusual.

The doctor tells the old man he cannot find anything wrong, and adds "you have to remember, Mr. Goldstein, this leg is already 80 years old".

Goldstein replies "and my other leg is what, 10 years younger?"
08-21-2018, 03:42 AM - 3 Likes   #1031
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08-21-2018, 03:43 AM - 1 Like   #1032
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08-21-2018, 04:41 AM - 2 Likes   #1033
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Q.What do you call a bloke holding an invoice?

A.Bill

---------- Post added 08-21-18 at 12:42 PM ----------

Q.What do you call a female lawyer?

A.Sue.
08-21-2018, 06:03 AM - 2 Likes   #1034
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese

08-21-2018, 06:05 AM   #1035
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese

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