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**WPRESTO** · 09-21-2018, 01:43 PM - **2 Likes**

Accountant to client: I can save you a bundle on taxes if you're willing to risk a little jail time.

Man to tax agent: You mean I have to pay taxes on money that I've already spent?

Tax agent to man called in for an audit: Relax, The worst that could happen to you already did.

Lady driver to highway patrol man: How could I drive 75 miles an hour when I've only been on the road for ten minutes?

**Tonytee** · 09-22-2018, 04:04 AM

Originally posted by serothis

If you poured that beer into a wooden cup would it become a "log"er?

---------

If Thailand ever got into a war we would have to call them the Empire because all their pilots would be thai fighters

Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars?

TT

**WPRESTO** · 09-22-2018, 05:22 AM

Originally posted by Tonytee

Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars?

TT

In the the very first "Star Wars" movie, the heroes flew in craft called "X-wing fighters" and the villains, The Empire, flew pod-like craft called "tie-fighters," hence the homonyms "tie" and "Thai."

bxf · 09-22-2018, 11:56 AM

Originally posted by normhead

The Germans capture a Britisdh officer during WWII. They are interrogating but all he says is "Tick, tick tick."
The German interrogator finally loses it and says "we have ways of making you tock.

Forgive me, but I feel compelled to make a slight modification:

"Ve haf vays to make you tok"!

Sounds more appropriate, no?

normhead · 09-23-2018, 10:01 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by bxf

Forgive me, but I feel compelled to make a slight modification:

"Ve haf vays to make you tok"!

Sounds more appropriate, no?

I'm a quarter German, Tess is half German, we always thought we'd run for the local Council with the slogan "Vee, Haf a Vision for Vhitney."

**Tonytee** · 09-23-2018, 11:25 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by WPRESTO

Accountant to client: I can save you a bundle on taxes if you're willing to risk a little jail time.

Man to tax agent: You mean I have to pay taxes on money that I've already spent?

Tax agent to man called in for an audit: Relax, The worst that could happen to you already did.

Lady driver to highway patrol man: How could I drive 75 miles an hour when I've only been on the road for ten minutes?

Those are good ones. This is a true story. Many years ago when I was working for a Tax Preparer, I had one client come in who had been on unemployment for the better part of the year. He actually asked me how much will he be getting for a refund. It is comical, but unfortunately very true.

TT

jack002 · 09-24-2018, 06:50 AM

Originally posted by serothis

If you poured that beer into a wooden cup would it become a "log"er?

---------

If Thailand ever got into a war we would have to call them the Empire because all their pilots would be thai fighters

That would be a SIN

rechmbrs · 09-24-2018, 10:34 PM

Don't know if this is a joke or not but if you use Roman numerals, Pentax K-1 mk ll is Pentax Kill

! Look out

!

RONC

torashi · 09-25-2018, 05:56 AM

Originally posted by rechmbrs

Don't know if this is a joke or not but if you use Roman numerals, Pentax K-1 mk ll is Pentax Kill

! Look out

!

RONC

It's a stretch. It would be Kiii… ki do you love me? Are you riding?
Say you’ll never ever leave from beside me
‘Cause I want ya, and I need ya
And I’m down for you always.
Now we just need a KB to continue the lyrics.

serothis · 09-25-2018, 09:33 AM

Originally posted by Tonytee

Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars?

TT

Originally posted by WPRESTO

In the the very first "Star Wars" movie, the heroes flew in craft called "X-wing fighters" and the villains, The Empire, flew pod-like craft called "tie-fighters," hence the homonyms "tie" and "Thai."

I'm not that old am I?

Originally posted by jack002

That would be a SIN

It's a bit of a tangent, but I guess a wooden beer stein would impart too much flavor and mask the flavor of the beer.

torashi · 09-25-2018, 10:26 AM

Originally posted by serothis

I'm not that old am I?

It's a bit of a tangent, but I guess a wooden beer stein would impart too much flavor and mask the flavor of the beer.

Well, beer used to be stored in wooden barrels, so no fear of wood there. I bet if you go looking for it, you can find a small brewery somewhere doing something with wood, like it is done with scotch and other spirits. If not, there's your marketing idea.

torashi · 09-25-2018, 10:32 AM

And for the sake of it, here's some Hägar for ya!

serothis · 09-25-2018, 11:01 AM

Originally posted by torashi

Well, beer used to be stored in wooden barrels, so no fear of wood there. I bet if you go looking for it, you can find a small brewery somewhere doing something with wood, like it is done with scotch and other spirits. If not, there's your marketing idea.

Wine is stored in barrels but I can't say I've ever seen a wooden wine...cup? Chalice? Goblet?

timb64 · 09-25-2018, 03:08 PM - **1 Like**

A man approaches an old lady on a park bench with a dog sitting at her feet. "Is your dog friendly?" He enquires
"Oh,yes" Replies the old dear.
The man goes to pet the dog and nearly gets his hand bitten off.
"I thought you said your dog was friendly" he muttered
"That's not my dog" replied the lady.

Kunzite · 09-26-2018, 12:57 AM

Originally posted by Jim Dandy

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill.

"Here come the elephants over the hill."

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill, wearing sunglasses.

Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the giraffes coming over the hill?

"You fooled me once with your disguises..."

09-24-2018, 10:34 PM	#1133
rechmbrs Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Conroe, TX USA Posts: 423	K-1 mk ll Don't know if this is a joke or not but if you use Roman numerals, Pentax K-1 mk ll is Pentax Kill ! Look out ! RONC

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09-21-2018, 01:43 PM - 2 Likes	#1126
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,144	Accountant to client: I can save you a bundle on taxes if you're willing to risk a little jail time. Man to tax agent: You mean I have to pay taxes on money that I've already spent? Tax agent to man called in for an audit: Relax, The worst that could happen to you already did. Lady driver to highway patrol man: How could I drive 75 miles an hour when I've only been on the road for ten minutes?

09-22-2018, 04:04 AM	#1127
Tonytee Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2012 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 21,543	Originally posted by serothis If you poured that beer into a wooden cup would it become a "log"er? --------- If Thailand ever got into a war we would have to call them the Empire because all their pilots would be thai fighters Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars? TT

09-22-2018, 05:22 AM	#1128
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,144	Originally posted by Tonytee Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars? TT In the the very first "Star Wars" movie, the heroes flew in craft called "X-wing fighters" and the villains, The Empire, flew pod-like craft called "tie-fighters," hence the homonyms "tie" and "Thai."

09-22-2018, 11:56 AM	#1129
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Originally posted by normhead The Germans capture a Britisdh officer during WWII. They are interrogating but all he says is "Tick, tick tick." The German interrogator finally loses it and says "we have ways of making you tock. Forgive me, but I feel compelled to make a slight modification: "Ve haf vays to make you tok"! Sounds more appropriate, no?

09-23-2018, 10:01 AM - 2 Likes	#1130
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	Originally posted by bxf Forgive me, but I feel compelled to make a slight modification: "Ve haf vays to make you tok"! Sounds more appropriate, no? I'm a quarter German, Tess is half German, we always thought we'd run for the local Council with the slogan "Vee, Haf a Vision for Vhitney."

09-23-2018, 11:25 AM - 1 Like	#1131
Tonytee Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2012 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 21,543	Originally posted by WPRESTO Accountant to client: I can save you a bundle on taxes if you're willing to risk a little jail time. Man to tax agent: You mean I have to pay taxes on money that I've already spent? Tax agent to man called in for an audit: Relax, The worst that could happen to you already did. Lady driver to highway patrol man: How could I drive 75 miles an hour when I've only been on the road for ten minutes? Those are good ones. This is a true story. Many years ago when I was working for a Tax Preparer, I had one client come in who had been on unemployment for the better part of the year. He actually asked me how much will he be getting for a refund. It is comical, but unfortunately very true. TT

09-24-2018, 06:50 AM	#1132
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	Originally posted by serothis If you poured that beer into a wooden cup would it become a "log"er? --------- If Thailand ever got into a war we would have to call them the Empire because all their pilots would be thai fighters That would be a SIN

09-25-2018, 05:56 AM	#1134
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by rechmbrs Don't know if this is a joke or not but if you use Roman numerals, Pentax K-1 mk ll is Pentax Kill ! Look out ! RONC It's a stretch. It would be Kiii… ki do you love me? Are you riding? Say you’ll never ever leave from beside me ‘Cause I want ya, and I need ya And I’m down for you always. Now we just need a KB to continue the lyrics.

09-25-2018, 09:33 AM	#1135
serothis Veteran Member Join Date: May 2016 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 538	Originally posted by Tonytee Duh!!! I must be on a slow bell this morning. I do not get it. Something to do with Star Wars? TT Originally posted by WPRESTO In the the very first "Star Wars" movie, the heroes flew in craft called "X-wing fighters" and the villains, The Empire, flew pod-like craft called "tie-fighters," hence the homonyms "tie" and "Thai." I'm not that old am I? Originally posted by jack002 That would be a SIN It's a bit of a tangent, but I guess a wooden beer stein would impart too much flavor and mask the flavor of the beer.

09-25-2018, 10:26 AM	#1136
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by serothis I'm not that old am I? It's a bit of a tangent, but I guess a wooden beer stein would impart too much flavor and mask the flavor of the beer. Well, beer used to be stored in wooden barrels, so no fear of wood there. I bet if you go looking for it, you can find a small brewery somewhere doing something with wood, like it is done with scotch and other spirits. If not, there's your marketing idea.

09-25-2018, 10:32 AM	#1137
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	And for the sake of it, here's some Hägar for ya!

09-25-2018, 11:01 AM	#1138
serothis Veteran Member Join Date: May 2016 Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 538	Originally posted by torashi Well, beer used to be stored in wooden barrels, so no fear of wood there. I bet if you go looking for it, you can find a small brewery somewhere doing something with wood, like it is done with scotch and other spirits. If not, there's your marketing idea. Wine is stored in barrels but I can't say I've ever seen a wooden wine...cup? Chalice? Goblet?

09-25-2018, 03:08 PM - 1 Like	#1139
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,514	A man approaches an old lady on a park bench with a dog sitting at her feet. "Is your dog friendly?" He enquires "Oh,yes" Replies the old dear. The man goes to pet the dog and nearly gets his hand bitten off. "I thought you said your dog was friendly" he muttered "That's not my dog" replied the lady.

09-26-2018, 12:57 AM	#1140
Kunzite Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Romania Posts: 15,132	Originally posted by Jim Dandy What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill. "Here come the elephants over the hill." What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill, wearing sunglasses. Nothing, he didn't recognize them. What did Tarzan say when he saw the giraffes coming over the hill? "You fooled me once with your disguises..."

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