[lesmore49]

An eight year old went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Kid to Work Day".

As they were walking around, the young girl started crying and getting cranky. Her father asked what was wrong with her.

As the staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly: "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

Very good. You know how to present a joke, your timing and delivery...excellent.

[clackers]

Very good. You know how to present a joke, your timing and delivery...excellent.

Thanks, Les, obviously this is a gag I found on the Internet but I'll usually cut words and contract sentences to make it 'tighter'. It's not a novel, I reckon there should be rapid progress to the punchline.

[Liney]

For all you veterans out there, why is leaving the military like sex?

The closer you get to discharge the more excited you get.......

[robtcorl]

A guy asked his wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She said "I'd take half and leave you."
He said "Good, I won twelve dollars, here's six, stay in touch."

[35mmfilmfan]

A gentleman, desirous of partaking liquid refreshment, entered a public house.

Whilst quaffing his foaming pint of ale, he espied, displayed upon the wall behind the bar, a notice.

It reads 'Upon verification, the proprietors of this establishment will pay the sum of £50 to any person who can make the donkey laugh'.

He enquires of the bartender the whereabouts of this beast, and is directed along a passage to a pasture at the rear of the establishment.

Sure enough, there stands the donkey.

Very soon, those within the bar hear the donkey - it vocalises ' hee hee hee haw, hee hee hee haw'.

The traveller returns to the bar to consume the remainder of his pint, and holds out his hand for the promised payment.

The bartender, with a grimace upon his face that some might have mistaken for a smile, proffers the largesse, but before relinquishing his hold, enquires :

'Pardon me, sir, but how did you achieve this feat, that none before you have managed, try as they might ?'

'Oh, twas easy !', replies the traveller. 'I merely informed the beast that I was better equipped than he was.'

He pocketed the money, and left.

Some two weeks later, the traveller returned to the bar. Little had changed, except that the notice now read :

'Upon verification, the proprietors of this establishment will pay the sum of £100 to any person who can make the donkey cry'.

Nothing loath, the traveller returned to the pasture whence he had previously located the noble beast of burden. Very soon, those within the bar heard :

'Boo hoo hoo haw, boo hoo hoo hoo haw' as the donkey broke down in tears.

Returning to the bar, the traveller was accosted by a group of patrons, who demanded to know what this stranger had done that none of them could manage.

'Simple,' said the traveller.

'This time, I showed him.'

[clackers]

A gentleman, desirous of partaking liquid refreshment,

Genuine question, 35mmfilmfan, d'ya reckon the wordiness helped/hindered/didn't affect the gag?

[Racer X 69]

A gentleman, desirous of partaking liquid refreshment, entered a public house.

Whilst quaffing his foaming pint of ale, he espied, displayed upon the wall behind the bar, a notice.

It reads 'Upon verification, the proprietors of this establishment will pay the sum of £50 to any person who can make the donkey laugh'.

He enquires of the bartender the whereabouts of this beast, and is directed along a passage to a pasture at the rear of the establishment.

Sure enough, there stands the donkey.

Very soon, those within the bar hear the donkey - it vocalises ' hee hee hee haw, hee hee hee haw'.

The traveller returns to the bar to consume the remainder of his pint, and holds out his hand for the promised payment.

The bartender, with a grimace upon his face that some might have mistaken for a smile, proffers the largesse, but before relinquishing his hold, enquires :

'Pardon me, sir, but how did you achieve this feat, that none before you have managed, try as they might ?'

'Oh, twas easy !', replies the traveller. 'I merely informed the beast that I was better equipped than he was.'

He pocketed the money, and left.

Some two weeks later, the traveller returned to the bar. Little had changed, except that the notice now read :

'Upon verification, the proprietors of this establishment will pay the sum of £100 to any person who can make the donkey cry'.

Nothing loath, the traveller returned to the pasture whence he had previously located the noble beast of burden. Very soon, those within the bar heard :

'Boo hoo hoo haw, boo hoo hoo hoo haw' as the donkey broke down in tears.

Returning to the bar, the traveller was accosted by a group of patrons, who demanded to know what this stranger had done that none of them could manage.

'Simple,' said the traveller.

'This time, I showed him.'

A joke I have known, heard and told, many times, in American English.

You've done it justice here. Good show mate!

Genuine question, 35mmfilmfan, d'ya reckon the wordiness helped/hindered/didn't affect the gag?

I think he delivered it well.

[clackers]

I think he delivered it well.

There we go!

[35mmfilmfan]

Hi, Clackers, Racer69,

Thanks for the comments. My intention was to turn what can be a fairly short humorous tale into more of a 'Shaggy Donkey' story - most people will have guessed the punch line (or kicker - donkey ? kick ? Oh, forget it) before the end. I also heard this joke when I first started work, more than 50 years ago, and told it almost as I heard it (although cleaned up a little !) in memory of those who introduced me to humour I had not heard on the radio. I have been known, when telling it myself, to introduce much more circumstantial detail regarding the pub and the participants, but decided to spare the current audience that extended experience.

Cheers, all

Tony

[35mmfilmfan]

For all you veterans out there, why is leaving the military like sex?

The closer you get to discharge the more excited you get.......

Apparently applies to jail as well ...

[clackers]

I have been known, when telling it myself, to introduce much more circumstantial detail regarding the pub and the participants, but decided to spare the current audience that extended experience.

I can imagine you spinning it out even longer at the pub between drinks, Tony!

[35mmfilmfan]

I can imagine you spinning it out even longer at the pub between drinks, Tony!

Only if other people are buying !!!!!

[blumoon722]

[IMG]53469180_363150020939678_4495167850654203904_n [IMG]

[35mmfilmfan]

'And on the tombstone, Dan,
Inscribe "Here lies a Lawyer and an Honest Man" '

'This cannot be done, your pardon I crave -
Two men cannot be buried in the same grave'.

[clackers]

'And on the tombstone, Dan,
Inscribe "Here lies a Lawyer and an Honest Man" '

'This cannot be done, your pardon I crave -
Two men cannot be buried in the same grave'.

Love it, Tony!