The Joke Thread

sasastro · 11-27-2019, 01:54 AM - **6 Likes**

Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?

Because they take up too mushroom

jack002 · 11-27-2019, 08:12 AM - **4 Likes**

I was told not to tell jokes this Thanksgiving
I said I can't just quit cold turkey

35mmfilmfan · 11-27-2019, 01:34 PM - **3 Likes**

Are jam makers conservationists ?

timb64 · 11-27-2019, 01:53 PM

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

Are jam makers conservationists ?

Or preservationists?

jack002 · 11-27-2019, 01:58 PM

Do they meet at Jellystone park?

disconnekt · 11-27-2019, 02:23 PM

Originally posted by jack002

Do they meet at Jellystone park?

If they do, they're gonna have to be kept chill while they jam out to music

Racer X 69 · 11-28-2019, 03:54 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by bobD

@Racer X 69...converting feet to meters ...(metres)

B.Kliban !!

Yes!

One of my favorite cartoonists.

35mmfilmfan · 11-28-2019, 12:55 PM

Originally posted by timb64

Or preservationists?

In the UK, posh (i.e. expensive) jam is known as 'Conserve'. Look up Wilkinsons of Tiptree.

timb64 · 11-28-2019, 05:12 PM

Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan

In the UK, posh (i.e. expensive) jam is known as 'Conserve'. Look up Wilkinsons of Tiptree.

Highgrove Royal Gardens sell an organic preserve gift box, I don't think you can get much more posh than that

Highgrove Organic Preserve Gift Box

bobD · 11-28-2019, 08:13 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

Yes!

One of my favorite cartoonists.

30 odd years ago when I moved in with the soon to be #1 Wifelet I was mightily impressed by her Kliban collection.....

We still take them off the shelf and chuckle an evening away.

Surprising the shared phrases and in-jokes we ascribe to them....

Like watching a glutton when dining out and our eyes meeting knowing we're both thinking the same thing....

"Never eat anything bigger than your head!"

Or the distant sound of someone diy hammering.....one of us will say .."whack your Porcupine"

timb64 · 11-28-2019, 11:41 PM

Originally posted by bobD

30 odd years ago when I moved in with the soon to be #1 Wifelet I was mightily impressed by her Kliban collection.....

We still take them off the shelf and chuckle an evening away.

Surprising the shared phrases and in-jokes we ascribe to them....

Like watching a glutton when dining out and our eyes meeting knowing we're both thinking the same thing....

"Never eat anything bigger than your head!"

Or the distant sound of someone diy hammering.....one of us will say .."whack your Porcupine"

I'll bite.I'm being very nosey but I'm intrigued by your reference to #1 Wifelet. Is that because there is more than one or you anticipate her shortly becoming ex-MrsD?

Racer X 69 · 11-29-2019, 12:32 AM

Originally posted by timb64

I'll bite.I'm being very nosey but I'm intrigued by your reference to #1 Wifelet. Is that because there is more than one or you anticipate her shortly becoming ex-MrsD?

For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2).

1.0 lasted 3.5 years.

2.0, 23 years last September and counting.

So it took me two versions to get the right code, eh?.

timb64 · 11-29-2019, 02:24 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2).

1.0 lasted 3.5 years.

2.0, 23 years last September and counting.

So it took me two version to get the right code, eh?.

That's almost exactly the same as my experience.

**WPRESTO** · 11-29-2019, 04:57 AM - **4 Likes**

Originally posted by timb64

That's almost exactly the same as my experience.

Not ours. First 50 years done. Next 50 expected to be as good.

Tako Kichi · 11-29-2019, 10:00 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Racer X 69

For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2).

1.0 lasted 3.5 years.

2.0, 23 years last September and counting.

So it took me two version to get the right code, eh?.

Sounds familiar.

1.0 lasted 8 years.

2.0 has managed 27 years this coming December 5th!

11-29-2019, 12:32 AM	#1782
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by timb64 I'll bite.I'm being very nosey but I'm intrigued by your reference to #1 Wifelet. Is that because there is more than one or you anticipate her shortly becoming ex-MrsD? For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2). 1.0 lasted 3.5 years. 2.0, 23 years last September and counting. So it took me two versions to get the right code, eh?. Last edited by Racer X 69; 11-29-2019 at 10:13 AM.

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11-27-2019, 01:54 AM - 6 Likes	#1771
sasastro Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2019 Location: Suffolk, UK Photos: Albums Posts: 849	Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares? Because they take up too mushroom

11-27-2019, 08:12 AM - 4 Likes	#1772
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	I was told not to tell jokes this Thanksgiving I said I can't just quit cold turkey

11-27-2019, 01:34 PM - 3 Likes	#1773
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Are jam makers conservationists ?

11-27-2019, 01:53 PM	#1774
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan Are jam makers conservationists ? Or preservationists?

11-27-2019, 01:58 PM	#1775
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	Do they meet at Jellystone park?

11-27-2019, 02:23 PM	#1776
disconnekt Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: SoCal/I.E. Photos: Albums Posts: 1,699	Originally posted by jack002 Do they meet at Jellystone park? If they do, they're gonna have to be kept chill while they jam out to music

11-28-2019, 03:54 AM - 3 Likes	#1777
Racer X 69 Moderator Man With A Camera Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Great Pacific Northwet, in the Land Between Canada and Mexico Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 28,067	Originally posted by bobD @Racer X 69...converting feet to meters ...(metres) B.Kliban !! Yes! One of my favorite cartoonists.

11-28-2019, 12:55 PM	#1778
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	Originally posted by timb64 Or preservationists? In the UK, posh (i.e. expensive) jam is known as 'Conserve'. Look up Wilkinsons of Tiptree.

11-28-2019, 05:12 PM	#1779
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by 35mmfilmfan In the UK, posh (i.e. expensive) jam is known as 'Conserve'. Look up Wilkinsons of Tiptree. Highgrove Royal Gardens sell an organic preserve gift box, I don't think you can get much more posh than that Highgrove Organic Preserve Gift Box

11-28-2019, 08:13 PM - 1 Like	#1780
bobD Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Waikikamukau Photos: Albums Posts: 1,248	Originally posted by Racer X 69 Yes! One of my favorite cartoonists. 30 odd years ago when I moved in with the soon to be #1 Wifelet I was mightily impressed by her Kliban collection..... We still take them off the shelf and chuckle an evening away. Surprising the shared phrases and in-jokes we ascribe to them.... Like watching a glutton when dining out and our eyes meeting knowing we're both thinking the same thing.... "Never eat anything bigger than your head!" Or the distant sound of someone diy hammering.....one of us will say .."whack your Porcupine"

11-28-2019, 11:41 PM	#1781
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by bobD 30 odd years ago when I moved in with the soon to be #1 Wifelet I was mightily impressed by her Kliban collection..... We still take them off the shelf and chuckle an evening away. Surprising the shared phrases and in-jokes we ascribe to them.... Like watching a glutton when dining out and our eyes meeting knowing we're both thinking the same thing.... "Never eat anything bigger than your head!" Or the distant sound of someone diy hammering.....one of us will say .."whack your Porcupine" I'll bite.I'm being very nosey but I'm intrigued by your reference to #1 Wifelet. Is that because there is more than one or you anticipate her shortly becoming ex-MrsD?

11-29-2019, 02:24 AM - 1 Like	#1783
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by Racer X 69 For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2). 1.0 lasted 3.5 years. 2.0, 23 years last September and counting. So it took me two version to get the right code, eh?. That's almost exactly the same as my experience.

11-29-2019, 04:57 AM - 4 Likes	#1784
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,106	Originally posted by timb64 That's almost exactly the same as my experience. Not ours. First 50 years done. Next 50 expected to be as good.

11-29-2019, 10:00 AM - 1 Like	#1785
Tako Kichi Veteran Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: SW Ontario, Canada (ex-pat Brit) Posts: 1,296	Originally posted by Racer X 69 For me it is Mrs. Racer 1.0 (Wifelet #1) and Mrs Racer 2.0 (Wifelet #2). 1.0 lasted 3.5 years. 2.0, 23 years last September and counting. So it took me two version to get the right code, eh?. Sounds familiar. 1.0 lasted 8 years. 2.0 has managed 27 years this coming December 5th!