The Joke Thread

**WPRESTO** · 12-04-2019, 02:53 PM - **4 Likes**

Bad spellers lof the word UNTIE!

torashi · 12-04-2019, 05:58 PM - **3 Likes**

How does a mermaid clean her tail?

She uses tide.

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:01 PM - **6 Likes**

Bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today.
I don't know what he laced them with.
But I was tripping all day…

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:04 PM - **3 Likes**

How do you call a dog that can perform magic?

A labracadabrador.

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:07 PM - **2 Likes**

What's the loudest pet you can have?

A trumpet.

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:10 PM - **1 Like**

Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because he had a great fall.

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:12 PM - **2 Likes**

Two peanuts walk down a shady street.

One was a salted.

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:15 PM - **2 Likes**

What did the police officer yell to his bellybutton?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

torashi · 12-04-2019, 06:20 PM - **1 Like**

So, my girlfriend got into this new tropical diet…

there's so much stuff at her house now, it's enough to make a mango crazy.

timb64 · 12-05-2019, 12:35 AM

Originally posted by torashi

What's the loudest pet you can have?

A trumpet.

Have you been at the Xmas crackers early,Torashi?

**StiffLegged** · 12-05-2019, 06:20 AM - **2 Likes**

I wondered who my kids were sending those jokes to, and now I know.

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association.

torashi · 12-05-2019, 07:01 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by timb64

Have you been at the Xmas crackers early,Torashi?

I didn't know about that tradition. Had to look it up, so here's one from a list I found of the worst Christmas cracker jokes:

- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
- A Christmas quacker.

torashi · 12-05-2019, 07:11 AM

Originally posted by StiffLegged

I wondered who my kids were sending those jokes to, and now I know.

Burn?

Here's a sick burn (if you like Star Wars):

jack002 · 12-05-2019, 08:17 AM

How can you tell if Santa is really a pirate?

He says YO HO HO

35mmfilmfan · 12-05-2019, 08:52 AM - **1 Like**

What do you get if you baste Roast Pork with (read carefully) Duck Fat ?

Quackling

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12-04-2019, 02:53 PM - 4 Likes	#1831
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,106	Bad spellers lof the word UNTIE!

12-04-2019, 05:58 PM - 3 Likes	#1832
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	How does a mermaid clean her tail? She uses tide.

12-04-2019, 06:01 PM - 6 Likes	#1833
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with. But I was tripping all day…

12-04-2019, 06:04 PM - 3 Likes	#1834
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	How do you call a dog that can perform magic? A labracadabrador.

12-04-2019, 06:07 PM - 2 Likes	#1835
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	What's the loudest pet you can have? A trumpet.

12-04-2019, 06:10 PM - 1 Like	#1836
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.

12-04-2019, 06:12 PM - 2 Likes	#1837
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Two peanuts walk down a shady street. One was a salted.

12-04-2019, 06:15 PM - 2 Likes	#1838
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	What did the police officer yell to his bellybutton? YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

12-04-2019, 06:20 PM - 1 Like	#1839
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	So, my girlfriend got into this new tropical diet… there's so much stuff at her house now, it's enough to make a mango crazy.

12-05-2019, 12:35 AM	#1840
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by torashi What's the loudest pet you can have? A trumpet. Have you been at the Xmas crackers early,Torashi?

12-05-2019, 06:20 AM - 2 Likes	#1841
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,617	I wondered who my kids were sending those jokes to, and now I know. What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association.

12-05-2019, 07:01 AM - 1 Like	#1842
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by timb64 Have you been at the Xmas crackers early,Torashi? I didn't know about that tradition. Had to look it up, so here's one from a list I found of the worst Christmas cracker jokes: - What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? - A Christmas quacker.

12-05-2019, 07:11 AM	#1843
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	Originally posted by StiffLegged I wondered who my kids were sending those jokes to, and now I know. Burn? Here's a sick burn (if you like Star Wars):

12-05-2019, 08:17 AM	#1844
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	How can you tell if Santa is really a pirate? He says YO HO HO

12-05-2019, 08:52 AM - 1 Like	#1845
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	What do you get if you baste Roast Pork with (read carefully) Duck Fat ? Quackling