The Joke Thread

rubenr · 01-09-2020, 04:17 PM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by BigDave

So a mushroom decides to throw a party an invites all of his friends. No one shows up. In frustration he says, "Hey I can't understand why no one came! I'm a fungi!"

---------- Post added 01-09-20 at 05:22 PM ----------

Why did the photographer get arrested?
He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

torashi · 01-09-2020, 05:36 PM - **11 Likes**

A graphic joke for ya:

torashi · 01-09-2020, 05:53 PM - **2 Likes**

In honor of the 2000th post, here's to remembering some Y2K madness 20 years ago:

35mmfilmfan · 01-11-2020, 11:54 AM - **1 Like**

When you've done the best you can
But the muck has hit the fan
The day may not be a total loss :

The flying muck might hit the boss.

bxf · 01-13-2020, 12:26 PM - **8 Likes**

**dipo 1** · 01-13-2020, 01:11 PM - **2 Likes**

A few bumper stickers we would like to see, more to come.

Jesus loves you........but everyone else thinks your a jerk.

Impotence. Natures way of saying 'No hard feelings.'

Your proctologist called...they found your head.

bertwert · 01-13-2020, 01:25 PM - **11 Likes**

If a man says he's going to fix something, he will, and he doesn't need reminding every six months!

35mmfilmfan · 01-14-2020, 11:25 AM - **2 Likes**

I fill my day with living,
With sleep, I fill my night.
I live each day as if my last -

One day I'll get it right.

**clackers** · 01-16-2020, 12:02 AM - **8 Likes**

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

She worries he might be a 'player', but when they get back to his place, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with tons of teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the middle shelf, and huge bears along the top shelf.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. The passion builds, and he lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they make hot, steamy love. After an intense night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, and asks coyly, "How was it?"

The guy smiles at her and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

**dipo 1** · 01-16-2020, 08:45 AM - **3 Likes**

Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film

jack002 · 01-16-2020, 08:47 AM

Originally posted by dipo 1

Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film

I've told this one before.

What college is named for the road it's on?
Tulane University

Liney · 01-16-2020, 02:06 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by dipo 1

Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film

Wasn't there a put down by one Hollywood actress to another way back when movies were young that went "She has a photographic memory, pity she never got it developed..."

35mmfilmfan · 01-16-2020, 11:51 PM

Quote from Groucho (I think as Captain Spaulding) - 'The native girls were overexposed but under-developed'.

35mmfilmfan · 01-17-2020, 12:02 AM - **4 Likes**

If this has appeared before, apologies.

Friend of mine phoned the Police to report he had been the victim of Identity Theft. Police officer asked for details, saying 'Who's Calling ?'

My friend said 'I wish I knew.'

jack002 · 01-17-2020, 08:55 AM - **1 Like**

I came home one day to find all my stuff was replaced by an exact replica. I said to my roommate, can you believe this? All this stuff is an exact replica. He said......

Do I know you?

01-16-2020, 12:02 AM - 8 Likes	#2004
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. She worries he might be a 'player', but when they get back to his place, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with tons of teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the middle shelf, and huge bears along the top shelf. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. The passion builds, and he lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they make hot, steamy love. After an intense night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, and asks coyly, "How was it?" The guy smiles at her and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf." Last edited by clackers; 01-16-2020 at 06:21 PM.

01-16-2020, 08:45 AM - 3 Likes	#2005
dipo 1 Site Supporter Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 374	Photog joke maybe Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film

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01-09-2020, 04:17 PM - 2 Likes	#1996
rubenr Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Guatemala City Photos: Albums Posts: 337	Originally posted by BigDave So a mushroom decides to throw a party an invites all of his friends. No one shows up. In frustration he says, "Hey I can't understand why no one came! I'm a fungi!" ---------- Post added 01-09-20 at 05:22 PM ---------- Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

01-09-2020, 05:36 PM - 11 Likes	#1997
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	A graphic joke for ya:

01-09-2020, 05:53 PM - 2 Likes	#1998
torashi Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Medellín Posts: 1,322	In honor of the 2000th post, here's to remembering some Y2K madness 20 years ago:

01-11-2020, 11:54 AM - 1 Like	#1999
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,322	When you've done the best you can But the muck has hit the fan The day may not be a total loss : The flying muck might hit the boss.

01-13-2020, 12:26 PM - 8 Likes	#2000
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660

01-13-2020, 01:11 PM - 2 Likes	#2001
dipo 1 Site Supporter Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 374	A few bumper stickers we would like to see, more to come. Jesus loves you........but everyone else thinks your a jerk. Impotence. Natures way of saying 'No hard feelings.' Your proctologist called...they found your head.

01-13-2020, 01:25 PM - 11 Likes	#2002
bertwert Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Golden, BC Posts: 15,173 Original Poster	If a man says he's going to fix something, he will, and he doesn't need reminding every six months!

01-14-2020, 11:25 AM - 2 Likes	#2003
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,322	I fill my day with living, With sleep, I fill my night. I live each day as if my last - One day I'll get it right.

01-16-2020, 08:47 AM	#2006
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	Originally posted by dipo 1 Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film I've told this one before. What college is named for the road it's on? Tulane University

01-16-2020, 02:06 PM - 1 Like	#2007
Liney Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 1,237	Originally posted by dipo 1 Everyone has a photographic memory.......some just don't have any film Wasn't there a put down by one Hollywood actress to another way back when movies were young that went "She has a photographic memory, pity she never got it developed..."

01-16-2020, 11:51 PM	#2008
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,322	Quote from Groucho (I think as Captain Spaulding) - 'The native girls were overexposed but under-developed'.

01-17-2020, 12:02 AM - 4 Likes	#2009
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,322	If this has appeared before, apologies. Friend of mine phoned the Police to report he had been the victim of Identity Theft. Police officer asked for details, saying 'Who's Calling ?' My friend said 'I wish I knew.'

01-17-2020, 08:55 AM - 1 Like	#2010
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	I came home one day to find all my stuff was replaced by an exact replica. I said to my roommate, can you believe this? All this stuff is an exact replica. He said...... Do I know you?

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