[Racer X 69]

I was chatting to a guy at a friend's BBQ and discovered he was worth around 14 million dollars and he told me this amazing story of how he became so rich.

Basically, he was not particularly good at school but he was good with his hands. So, he left school at 15 with no formal qualifications. He knew he was not going to get an office job so he'd have to get out and do some physical work. He had a bit of pocket money saved up, so he bought an old munted Series Landrover and spent some months fixing it up and sold it for a profit. He used that money to buy another and so on. He did this over and over for the next 35 years, buying, repairing and selling many Landrovers. He moved on to Defenders, both 90's and 110's. Later, he branched out into Range Rovers and Discoveries, both series 1 and 2.

Even during the really bad times he kept at it working long hours sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days on end, all in pursuit of his goal.

Then his uncle died and left him $14,000,000.

True story...
A photographer friend ended up worth 1.5 million. I asked him how he did it. He worked catalogues like Eatons, Canadian tire etc, had six employees worked hard... then he sold his studio for 1.5 million. Now he rents studio space when he needs it 6 weeks a year, has one employee, has a tethered line straight to his editor. They do all the work he used to do in 6 weeks and party the rest of the year. Plus he has 1.5 million in the bank.

Then there was the Saskatchewan farmer who won the lottery. They asked him what he'd do with the money. 'I'll just keep farming until it's all gone."

The surest way to make a small fortune in racing is to start with a large one.

True story.

[Jean Poitiers]

Joining up and will translate a few of the better ones that I know ... and many in French won't translate well. Too bad ("tant pis").

What do you call someone who speaks three languages? ... trilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks two languages? ... bilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks one language? ... French.

[timb64]

Joining up and will translate a few of the better ones that I know ... and many in French won't translate well. Too bad ("tant pis").

What do you call someone who speaks three languages? ... trilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks two languages? ... bilingual.

What do you call someone who speaks one language? ... French.

Ha,ha

It reminds me of a conversation I had with a taxi driver in SE Asia. He asked what was most English peoples' second language. I replied a lot of them struggle with one!

[normhead]

The wisdom of Casey Stengel.... I can't post them all.
Casey Stengels' Baseball Phrases

[dipo 1]

In regard to the ape hangers

---------- Post added 03-08-20 at 01:06 PM ----------

Sorry wrong one but also very true

[Parallax]

Dont know this is the right place this, maybe skhould have been tkhe SLR THREAD

That's why I started doing my own processing when I was in High school. I wanted to know how bad my pictures were right away.

[camera_nut]

How does a man know his wife used his car? The gas gauge is on "E" and the radio is on a country music station.

[Jean Poitiers]

My 9th grade daughter told this one at the dinner table last week ...

A pirate and his parrot walk into a bar. The pirate orders a beer and the parrot says, a "Coke".

The bartender sevres the beer and says, "We don't serve Coke."

The next day the pirate and parrot go into the same bar. The pirate orders a beer and the parrot says, a "Coke".

The bartender sevres the beer and says, "I told you yesterday, we don't serve Coke."

The third day, the pirate and parrot go into the same bar. The pirate orders a beer and the parrot says, a "Coke".

The bartender sevres the beer and says, "If you ask for a Coke again, I am going to nail you to that cross on the wall."

The fourth day, the pirate and parrot go into the same bar. The pirate orders a beer and the parrot says, a "Coke".

The bartender grabs the parrot and nails him to the cross.

The parrot then turns his head toward Christ and says, "So you ordered a Coke, too"

[Kunzite]

The above joke reminds me of:

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "do you have any grapes?"
"No", said the barman; "this is a bar, we don't serve grapes - try the convenience store down the street".
The duck leaves, but next day the story repeats - "do you have any grapes?"
"As I said yesterday, we don't have grapes here".
Once again, the duck leaves just to return the next day, and the next, and the next - to the barman's exasperation: "do you have any grapes?"
"Look here, if you keep asking for grapes I'll nail your beak to the counter!"
"Do you have nails?" promptly asks the duck.
"No?"
"Good. Do you have any grapes?"

[bertwert]

And the above joke brought this song into my head...

You Tube

You Tube

[Dieseler]

And ape hangers are dangerous.

Maybe just a case of bad BO? Saves on deodorant!

[Parallax]

Okay, a bit of humor from the South Dakota:

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant gardens.


50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Sioux Falls sunbathe.


40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Aberdeen drive with the windows down.


32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Pierre gets thicker.


20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Huron throw on a flannel shirt.


15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Chamberlain have the last cookout before it gets cold.


Zero:
People in Miami all die.
South Dakotans close the windows.


10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Yankton get out their winter coats.


25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Sioux Falls are selling cookies door to door.


40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Okay, a bit of hyperbole there. It would have to get MUCH colder than that.)
People in Watertown let the dogs sleep indoors.

[lesmore49]

Okay, a bit of humor from the South Dakota:

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant gardens.


50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Sioux Falls sunbathe.


40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Aberdeen drive with the windows down.


32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Pierre gets thicker.


20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Huron throw on a flannel shirt.


15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Chamberlain have the last cookout before it gets cold.


Zero:
People in Miami all die.
South Dakotans close the windows.


10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Yankton get out their winter coats.


25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Sioux Falls are selling cookies door to door.


40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Okay, a bit of hyperbole there. It would have to get MUCH colder than that.)
People in Watertown let the dogs sleep indoors.

Good one. A buddy went to the Daytona 500 to watch the race one year. He lives on the prairies in Western Canada, directly north (shares border) of North Dakota. It gets very cold out here on the lone (northern) prairie in the winter.

One day during practice he was sitting in the stands watching the action. It was around 45 F. He had thrown on a flannel shirt over his T-shirt and was comfortable. There were a number of Florida residents who were wearing parkas, gloves, etc.

After awhile, some of them asked him wasn't he freezing...he said no...this is warm spring weather where I come from. He wasn't kidding.

I do sometimes think...maybe it would be nice to live somewhere during the winter, where the weather right now is about 65 F, no ice/snow on the streets and the ability to wear just a golf shirt , jeans and light shoes and be comfortable. .

[BigDave]

What do you call someone who speaks one language? ... French

This joke ending works for Americans (USA) also!

[Liney]

Okay, a bit of humor from the South Dakota:

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in South Dakota plant gardens.


50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Sioux Falls sunbathe.


40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Aberdeen drive with the windows down.


32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Pierre gets thicker.


20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Huron throw on a flannel shirt.


15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Chamberlain have the last cookout before it gets cold.


Zero:
People in Miami all die.
South Dakotans close the windows.


10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Yankton get out their winter coats.


25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Sioux Falls are selling cookies door to door.


40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Okay, a bit of hyperbole there. It would have to get MUCH colder than that.)
People in Watertown let the dogs sleep indoors.

There was something similar with place names in Scotland but it has another few verses, one was around it being 80 below zero (and in this case it was Centigrade not this Farenheit nonsense} and people from Shetland putting a cardigan on and thinking about having a night in front of the fire, and absolute zero (273 below zero} "Hell freezes over, Scotland fans support England in the world cup....."