[MarkJerling]

4. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or squeeze your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- feline attendance is not required.

4. To you, my pets are animals. To me, they are my adopted offspring who just happen to be short and hairy, who walk on all fours and who don’t speak clearly.

Very true!

[Parallax]

We celebrate March 17th in commemoration of St. Patrick's great and noble deed in driving the Norwegians out of Ireland.

It seems that centuries ago many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time and food was scarce.

The Norwegians were eating almost all of the fish caught in the ocean, leaving the Irish with nothing but potatoes.

St. Patrick, taking matters into onto his own hands, like most Irishman, decided all the Norwegians had to go. Secretly he organized the IRATION (Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians). Irish members of the IRATION sabotaged all the power plants in hopes the fish in Norwegian refrigerators would spoil, forcing the Norwegians to a cooler climate where their fish would keep. The fish spoiled all right, but the Norwegians, as everyone knows to this day, thrive on spoiled fish. Faced with failure, the Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of the night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian intruders, but as everybody knows, this is how lutefisk was introduced to the Norwegians, and how they thrived on the lye soaked smelly fish.

Matters became even worse for the Irish when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop to make lefse. Poor St. Patrick was at his wits end. Finally, on March 17, he blew his top and told the Norwegians to "go to hell" -- and it worked, because all the Norwegians left Ireland and went to Minnesota.

[Liney]

That will give one a brazilian.

Ouch.

For a while it was quite the thing for gentlemen to get a procedure known as a "back, sack and crack".

I never was a gentleman....

[MarkJerling]

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.

When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replies.

"What kind of a name is that?" asks the cowboy.

"Well," says the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," says the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," replies the bartender.

[MarkJerling]

Maybe has been posted here before....

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, hey?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

[MarkJerling]

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV which reads: "Insurance agent. Ask about our Whole-Life packages."

[35mmfilmfan]

Saw a Covid-19 T-shirt today. Said on it 'If you can read this, you are too close ! Back Off !!!'

At least, I think it said 'Back' - I wasn't close enough to see clearly.

[robtcorl]

[WPRESTO]

I figured how to make strangers keep their distance.

[Jean Poitiers]

In case you have not seen the latest & greatest offering ... New K is out!

[WPRESTO]

WOW! But I thought only two lenses were needed for 3D. Is this the first camera to photograph the fourth dimension? I know, it's designed for instantaneous pixel shift, or maybe the lenses are angled so you can get instantaneous panorama, or maybe instantaneous HDR, instantaneous focus shift, or instantaneous exposure bracketing??? Must be something clever.

[Parallax]

Is this the first camera to photograph the fourth dimension?

It's about time.
The 5th Dimension was photographed years ago.

[jeallen01]

An up-to-date version of one of those 1950s-60s 8mm home-movie camera with wide-angle "normal" and telephoto lenses on a turret - Pentax was always "ahead of the game" in some areas!

[WPRESTO]

An up-to-date version of one of those 1950s-60s 8mm home-movie camera with wide-angle "normal" and telephoto lenses on a turret - Pentax was always "ahead of the game" in some areas!

Wait a minute - - Pentax is resurrecting 1950-60 design and that means it's "ahead of the game?" I think that Leitz made a multi-lens turret. There were others, including an SLR equipped with one. Easy to hand hold at eye level as an RB67

[Racer X 69]

What does an angry pepper do when confronted?

It gets jalapeno face!