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bxf · 07-05-2020, 04:30 PM - **13 Likes**

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender asks the rabbit "what are you doing here?"

Rabbit replies "I have no idea. It's all because of autocorrect".

Unregistered User 8 · 07-05-2020, 09:45 PM - **6 Likes**

A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the sex worker just laughs and says, " Well what did you expect for ten bucks?.................. Lobster? "

**clackers** · 07-05-2020, 11:56 PM - **10 Likes**

Two Irishmen, Sean and Pat, fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them. “Hang on, I have an idea,” says Pat. He goes next door to the butcher’s shop and comes out with one large sausage. “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left for booze!” says Sean. “Don’t worry, just follow me,” Pat replies.

He goes into the pub and orders two pints of Guinness. “Now you’ve lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!” cries Sean. Pat replies with a smile, “Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!” They down their drinks. “Okay, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth,” orders Pat.

Said and done, the barman notices them, goes berserk and throws them out. They continue this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Sean says, “Pat, I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m wasted and me knees are killin’ me!”

“How do you think I feel?” says Pat. “I lost the sausage in the third pub.”

35mmfilmfan · 07-08-2020, 01:27 AM - **3 Likes**

Now that the UK pubs are open again (YIPPEE !!!!!), I have of course been doing as much as I can to ensure that alcohol is not consumed by those who cannot handle it. In a pub the other night, got talking to a chap called Leslie - we touched on work, lockdown, etc, I then asked about his family, and he told me he had an identical twin.

I asked his twin's name, and he replied 'Same as mine'.

I asked if that did not lead to confusion, and he replied 'No, not really. She usually wears a dress'.

Last edited by 35mmfilmfan; 07-08-2020 at 01:28 AM. Reason: Mis-spelled 'a'

jack002 · 07-08-2020, 08:39 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by bxf

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender asks the rabbit "what are you doing here?"

Rabbit replies "I have no idea. It's all because of autocorrect".

Any real punster can roll with that.
The rabbit ordered beer, because he likes the hops
A car pulled up and told the rabbit to hop in.
The rabbit puns multiply.....

ChristianRock · 07-08-2020, 11:40 AM - **4 Likes**

I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4...

timb64 · 07-08-2020, 11:42 AM

Originally posted by ChristianRock

I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4...

Hmmmm......setup?!

ChristianRock · 07-08-2020, 11:43 AM

Originally posted by timb64

Hmmmm......setup?!

Probably. But still funny...

lesmore49 · 07-08-2020, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by ChristianRock

I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4...

.

Unregistered User 8 · 07-09-2020, 12:36 AM - **5 Likes**

The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste.

bxf · 07-09-2020, 01:06 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by pjv

The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste.

I wouldn't know...

Unregistered User 8 · 07-09-2020, 01:11 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by bxf

I wouldn't know...

I was only stating what I had been told......................................................really I was.......................

jack002 · 07-09-2020, 08:46 AM

Originally posted by pjv

The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste.

I've said that for years

**Perfessor5646** · 07-13-2020, 09:58 AM - **7 Likes**

My eldest son sent me this after I sold off all my black guns to get back into photography.

Liney · 07-13-2020, 08:32 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by Perfessor5646

My eldest son sent me this after I sold off all my black guns to get back into photography.

Because it's a Nikon?

Should only be handled under adult supervision....

I was sure I added a thermometer joke but it appears to have been removed....

07-13-2020, 09:58 AM - 7 Likes	#2864
Perfessor5646 Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2018 Location: Louisville, KY Photos: Albums Posts: 605	My eldest son sent me this after I sold off all my black guns to get back into photography. Attached Images

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07-05-2020, 04:30 PM - 13 Likes	#2851
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender asks the rabbit "what are you doing here?" Rabbit replies "I have no idea. It's all because of autocorrect".

07-05-2020, 09:45 PM - 6 Likes	#2852
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the sex worker just laughs and says, " Well what did you expect for ten bucks?.................. Lobster? "

07-05-2020, 11:56 PM - 10 Likes	#2853
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	Two Irishmen, Sean and Pat, fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them. “Hang on, I have an idea,” says Pat. He goes next door to the butcher’s shop and comes out with one large sausage. “Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left for booze!” says Sean. “Don’t worry, just follow me,” Pat replies. He goes into the pub and orders two pints of Guinness. “Now you’ve lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!” cries Sean. Pat replies with a smile, “Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!” They down their drinks. “Okay, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth,” orders Pat. Said and done, the barman notices them, goes berserk and throws them out. They continue this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Sean says, “Pat, I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m wasted and me knees are killin’ me!” “How do you think I feel?” says Pat. “I lost the sausage in the third pub.”

07-08-2020, 01:27 AM - 3 Likes	#2854
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,342	Now that the UK pubs are open again (YIPPEE !!!!!), I have of course been doing as much as I can to ensure that alcohol is not consumed by those who cannot handle it. In a pub the other night, got talking to a chap called Leslie - we touched on work, lockdown, etc, I then asked about his family, and he told me he had an identical twin. I asked his twin's name, and he replied 'Same as mine'. I asked if that did not lead to confusion, and he replied 'No, not really. She usually wears a dress'. Last edited by 35mmfilmfan; 07-08-2020 at 01:28 AM. Reason: Mis-spelled 'a'

07-08-2020, 08:39 AM - 2 Likes	#2855
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	Originally posted by bxf A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender asks the rabbit "what are you doing here?" Rabbit replies "I have no idea. It's all because of autocorrect". Any real punster can roll with that. The rabbit ordered beer, because he likes the hops A car pulled up and told the rabbit to hop in. The rabbit puns multiply.....

07-08-2020, 11:40 AM - 4 Likes	#2856
ChristianRock Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: People's Republic of America Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 9,912	I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4...

07-08-2020, 11:42 AM	#2857
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,514	Originally posted by ChristianRock I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4... Hmmmm......setup?!

07-08-2020, 11:43 AM	#2858
ChristianRock Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: People's Republic of America Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 9,912	Originally posted by timb64 Hmmmm......setup?! Probably. But still funny...

07-08-2020, 12:12 PM	#2859
lesmore49 Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Western Canada Posts: 12,350	Originally posted by ChristianRock I hope this wasn't your fancy new camera... or that DFA*85 1.4... .

07-09-2020, 12:36 AM - 5 Likes	#2860
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste.

07-09-2020, 01:06 AM - 2 Likes	#2861
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Originally posted by pjv The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste. I wouldn't know...

07-09-2020, 01:11 AM - 2 Likes	#2862
Unregistered User 8 Closed Account Join Date: Mar 2015 Photos: Gallery Posts: 8,694	Originally posted by bxf I wouldn't know... I was only stating what I had been told......................................................really I was.......................

07-09-2020, 08:46 AM	#2863
jack002 Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Missouri Photos: Albums Posts: 727	Originally posted by pjv The only real difference between oral and rectal thermometers is the taste. I've said that for years

07-13-2020, 08:32 PM - 1 Like	#2865
Liney Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 1,237	Originally posted by Perfessor5646 My eldest son sent me this after I sold off all my black guns to get back into photography. Because it's a Nikon? Should only be handled under adult supervision.... I was sure I added a thermometer joke but it appears to have been removed....

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