[timb64]

LANCE PERCIVAL - 'Shame And Scandal In The Family' - 1965 45rpm - YouTube

The vocal equivalent of “blacking up”- from a very different age

[ehrwien]

Why did the legally blind man fall into the well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

[jack002]

There are people who can only count to ten. They should make a 12 step program for that
I was asked if turtles get homesick, I said yes, very slowly
I read magazines periodically
Typesetters think they can justify anything
An accountant and librarian got married and had a bookie
People are rioting because they have to walk down stairs. Try to deescalate the situation
People who charge too much for a toupee are called scalpers
Some day they will pass a law you can't take down any more statues. They'll call it...... the statue of limitations
No one ever proposes a toast to burned bakeries
What is it called when a old man who puts tires on for a living wants to stop working?
Why doesn't Vin Diesel drive a TRUCK?
If two vegans travel in a parallel path, they never meat
Do arachnophobes go to Spiderman movies?
Do people keep drug dealers on speeddial?

[timb64]

A senior general (think of Stephen Fry as General Melchett) is visiting a field hospital during the First World War. He comes into a ward and approaches the first bed, where the soldier struggles to come to attention, lying down.
"At ease," says the general. "Why are you here?"
"Piles, sir. Chronic piles. Can't walk sir on account of the piles."
"I see" says the general. "What treatment are you being given?"
"Wire brush and Vim*, sir. Wire brush and Vim,morning and evening."
"Jolly good. jolly good. And what do you want most in life?"
"I want to get better so I can go out and kill the Hun for King and Country, sir."
"First rate. Carry on." And the general goes to the next bed.

"At ease," says the general to the next chap. "Why are you here?"
"Crabs sir. Chronic infestation of crabs."
"I see," says the general, easing away a little. "What treatment?"
"Wire brush and Vim,sir. Morning and evening, wire brush and Vim."
"Excellent. First class. And what do you most want in life?"
"I want to get well so I can kill hundreds of the bosche, sir."
"That's the spirit," and the general moves on to the third bed.

"At ease," says the general. "What are you in hospital for?"
"Laryngitis, sir." He croaks.
"Yes, good, good. What treatment?"
"Wire brush and Vim, sir. Morning and evening, wire brush and Vim."
"That's the spirit. And what do you desire most in life?"
"To get my hands on the wire brush and Vim before those two dirty b........"

*Vim was a very abrasive cleaning powder,think a combination of talcum powder,sand and bleach!

---

Last edited by timb64; 08-03-2020 at 04:03 AM.

[Racer X 69]

Good one. So, how do you say it? We say "Wooster-sauce"

WoooStah, sounds a bit like rooster, emphasis on the s for the second syllable, finished in ah, rather than r. and shure for the third syllable.

WoooSta-shure sauce.

[FreeSpirit9]

Woosta-sheer sauce

[bertwert]

*Vim was a very abrasive cleaning powder,think a combination of talcum powder,sand and bleach!

And there I was, thinking of text editors...

[WPRESTO]

WoooStah, sounds a bit like rooster, emphasis on the s for the second syllable, finished in ah, rather than r. and shure for the third syllable.

WoooSta-shure sauce.

WAR - chester - sheye - yer sawz

[StiffLegged]

WoooSta-shure sauce.

Woosta-sheer sauce

WAR - chester - sheye - yer sawz

There you have it: several nations divided by a common language, all wrong.

Wooster Sauce.

[bertwert]

Actually, it's just called Lea and Perrins.

[Jean Poitiers]

From one of my favorite FB feeds ... the "Easy Conspiracies" page




Translation ⇒ Danger !!! The Japanese are obligated to have hair like a Bar Code in order to be scanned by the 5G antennas of Bill Gates !!! Say NO to the new world order !!!

[WPRESTO]

From one of my favorite FB feeds ... the "Easy Conspiracies" page




Translation ⇒ Danger !!! The Japanese are obligated to have hair like a Bar Code in order to be scanned by the 5G antennas of Bill Gates !!! Say NO to the new world order !!!

As I've suggested earlier, eventually we'll all have a bar code tattooed on our forearm soon after birth. That will serve everything = our SS number, our bank account #, our driver's license #, our Selective Service #, our credit card # = just hold it up to the scanner at checkout or up to the camera above the monitor when ordering on line and payment is electronically transferred from your virtual bank account to theirs. A thief can only get your money by skinning you alive.

[robtcorl]

Youtu.be

Youtu.be

[StiffLegged]

Bob, you're confusing the location, Worcestershire, with the condiment, Worcestershire Sauce. Different! But why stick to the Lea and Perrin conundrum? Ask an Arizonan to pronounce Mogillon Rim, ask a Texan to drill for oil in the Gulf, ask an Englishman how he pronounces his surname of Cholmondeley, a Scotsman where to find Kirkcudbright or defy a Welshman not to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

And that's just for starters!

[slartibartfast01]

Bob, you're confusing the location, Worcestershire, with the condiment, Worcestershire Sauce. Different! But why stick to the Lea and Perrin conundrum? Ask an Arizonan to pronounce Mogillon Rim, ask a Texan to drill for oil in the Gulf, ask an Englishman how he pronounces his surname of Cholmondeley, a Scotsman where to find Kirkcudbright or defy a Welshman not to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

And that's just for starters!

Not to mention Culzean Castle, Milngavie and Cowpen in Northumberland. Not sure I understand why Worcestershire is different to Worcestershire Sauce though.