[mkgd1]

I understand that and generally hate the idea of anything being off limits for humour,just expressing an opinion in this instance.To answer my question,what would your take on 9/11 humour be?

No problem with that either. Guess I'm not easily offended.

"Without freedom of speech, I might be in the swamp" Song: Motorpsycho Nightmare, Album: Another Side of Bob Dylan, 1964

---

Last edited by mkgd1; 08-28-2020 at 10:57 AM.

[MarkJerling]

To get us back on topic. (And if anyone would like to start a thread on whether something is funny or not, please do so, but let's quit it in the joke thread.)

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

[robtcorl]

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper said, "Why would anyone name a drink Bob?"

[jeallen01]

Correction on behalf of Rob!

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper said, "Why would anyone name a drink called Bob?"

[lesmore49]

A screwdriver walks into a bar....

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The screwdriver responds, "You have a drink named Stanley?"

[lesmore49]

A guy walks into a bar and he leans over and says to the bartender, "Hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something so amazing that I can guarantee you've never seen it before?"

The bartender says, "Okay, but it had better be good."

The man reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He sets the hamster down on the bar. It scurries about, jumps off the end, turns a perfect somersault in midair, and lands on the piano. He then begins to dance across the keys, playing the piano beautifully. The bartender says, "Wow! That was truly incredible! Have a beer."

The man finishes his beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, if I show you something else that is so amazing I can guarantee you've never seen before, will you give me another free beer?"

"If it's as amazing as that hamster, then sure," the bartender replies.

So the man reaches into his other coat pocket and pulls out a frog. He sets the frog down on the bar, and the frog begins to sing beautifully. The bartender is again amazed, and the man earns another beer.

As the man is drinking his beer, a guy at the other end of the bar walks over and says, "What a performer! I'll give you $500 for that frog."

The first man says, "It’s a deal!" and sells the guy his frog. The bartender shakes his head slowly. "Not that it's any of my business, mind you, but that was a real, live singing frog. Why would you sell it for only $500? You could have made millions off of it."

The man says, "Nah, don't worry. The hamster's also a ventriloquist."

[Digitalis]

I think this does need to be addressed.

I have watched the Chernobyl HBO series, and I thought it was excellent*. There are several factual elements that show took liberties with for the sake of telling a dramatic story. And for the record: yes the lives lost in that accident were completely avoidable and the ignorance that caused those losses rather horrifying.

Having recently “enjoyed” (if that’s the right word) the Chernobyl TV series I’ve very mixed feelings about it as the subject for a joke.

This coming from the person who liked pepperberry farm's comment "I personally lick all exposed surfaces of my camera bodies and lenses, primarily to provide proof of ownership" In response to a thread expressing concerns that coronavirus could hitch a ride on secondhand goods.

You liked a joke about a virus that has killed thousands and affected the lives billions. And you have mixed feelings about a nonsensical** joke I made about Chernobyl?



Let's get back to jokes:

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The light bulb has to want to change.



* Allegedly the Russian government didn't like that show and how it made the USSRs leadership look incompetent, so they produced their own version which blamed the American CIA for causing the disaster.


** The nonsensical part of the joke is that particles emitted during radioactive decay aren't microwaves at all, microwaves are at a drastically lower level of energy compared to α, β and γ particles. Realistically, the only thing a cardboard box heavily contaminated with radiation could accomplish is make your food completely unfit for consumption.

---

Last edited by Digitalis; 08-30-2020 at 06:31 PM. Reason: formatting was a mess.

[lesmore49]

Q. How do dog catchers get paid? A. By the pound!

[lesmore49]

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

[timb64]

I think this does need to be addressed.


I have watched the Chernobyl HBO series, and I thought it was excellent*. There are several factual elements that show took liberties with for the sake of telling a dramatic story. And for the record: yes the lives lost in that accident were completely avoidable and the ignorance that caused those losses rather horrifying.




This coming from the person who liked pepperberry farm's comment "I personally lick all exposed surfaces of my camera bodies and lenses, primarily to provide proof of ownership" In response to a thread expressing concerns that coronavirus could hitch a ride on secondhand goods.


You liked a joke about a virus that has killed thousands and affected the lives billions. And you have mixed feelings about a nonsensical** joke I made about Chernobyl?

Let's get back to jokes:

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The light bulb has to want to change.



* Allegedly the Russian government didn't like that show and how it made the USSRs leadership look incompetent, so they produced their own version which blamed the American CIA for causing the disaster.


** The nonsensical part of the joke is that particles emitted during radioactive decay aren't microwaves at all, microwaves are at a drastically lower level of energy compared to α, β and γ particles. Realistically, the only thing a cardboard box heavily contaminated with radiation could accomplish is make your food completely unfit for consumption.

Fair point,well made I accept the shame of being hypocrite of the month!

[WPRESTO]

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper said, "Why would anyone name a drink Bob?"

I am particularly fond of the cocktail called a "grasshopper" and on the rare special occasions that I indulge in an alcoholic drink - about three times per annum - it is commonly my first request. More often than not, the bartender has never heard of the drink, or does not have the ingredients. The best one I had was in an old Montana RR station, converted to a restaurant, where the 'tender used mint sherbet in addition to cream = thick, icy cold and very refreshing.

[Pedrodelta]

My friend's car had been playing up for a day or two so he took it to his local garage repair shop for a diagnosis. The mechanic informed him that the engine was running at a high temperature and had tested positive for C.V. - Corrosion Virus. The mechanic said there was no need to worry though as he had treated the engine with an anti C.V. fluid that also contained a special additive which would allow Bill Gates to monitor its health from now on....

[35mmfilmfan]

OK, here we go :

What is the feminine of Cocktail ?










Hentail

[Liney]

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The light bulb has to want to change.

We had a joke that used to follow around from project to project depending on how things were going that went

"How many program managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

<insert project name> have redefined the term "dark" and concluded that the absence of light is not necessarily a detrimental effect, and that in the fullness of time when the cost benefit analysis concludes that a paradigm shift from "dark" to a state which could be described as "light" is profitable and appropriate then the management will initiate the transition from one state to another..."

[Parallax]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

It can't be done. That's a hardware problem.