The Joke Thread

**blumoon722** · 10-30-2020, 12:50 PM - **4 Likes**

This ad was on Facebook Marketplace today:
$145
Pentax K1000 camera
Tampon 70-210mm lens
UV lens
Tampon adaptors
Vintage Flash
Fliteline camera bag

timb64 · 10-30-2020, 01:04 PM

Originally posted by blumoon722

This ad was on Facebook Marketplace today:
$145
Pentax K1000 camera
Tampon 70-210mm lens
UV lens
Tampon adaptors
Vintage Flash
Fliteline camera bag

A well known member of PF has a Tampon lens too!

Liney · 10-31-2020, 02:09 AM - **6 Likes**

Back to old jokes with a filthy punchline

Grandad was at his sons house playing wth his grandson in the back garden. The grandson is looking down at something on the grass and grandad asks him what he is looking at. The grandson points to a worm and asks grandad "what's that"?

Grandad explains that it is a worm, a very wiggly creature who live underground in a hole. Grandad says to his grandson that it can be very difficult to get the worm back in its hole, but if he can thing of a way to achieve that grandad would give grandson a dollar.

Grandson thinks for a minute then runs back into the house. He reappears a coouple of minute later with his mums hairspray, lays the worm out flat on the ground and gives it a good spray. The worm is then stiff and allows the grandson to pick up the stiff worm and slide it back into its hole.

Grandad is very impressed and takes a dollar out of his pocket and gives it to grandson.

The next day grandad comes round to visit grandson again, and gives him five dollars from grandma....

35mmfilmfan · 10-31-2020, 02:21 AM - **4 Likes**

Useful stuff, hairspray - turns flies into gliders.

robtcorl · 10-31-2020, 05:46 AM - **6 Likes**

Originally posted by Liney

The next day grandad comes round to visit grandson again, and gives him five dollars from grandma....

Reminds me of the story about an old guy who got firm for the first time in years.
He threw back the covers on the bed to show his wife and asked her what he should do with it.
She said "Why don't you wash it while you have the wrinkles out if it."

Parallax · 10-31-2020, 06:13 AM - **7 Likes**

Two five-year-olds were playing one day and one said "Yesterday I found a condom on the veranda".
The other one said "Really? What's a veranda?"

normhead · 10-31-2020, 07:36 AM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by timb64

A well known member of PF has a Tampon lens too!

Anyone who has spell check on their computer can have a Tampon lens. They are rated both for optical excellence, and absorbency.

robtcorl · 10-31-2020, 08:48 AM - **4 Likes**

I'm surprised spell check doesn't change Pentax to Tampax.

normhead · 10-31-2020, 08:55 AM - **4 Likes**

Originally posted by robtcorl

I'm surprised spell check doesn't change Pentax to Tampax.

AW Tampax cameras and Tampon lenses, for photographers who want the most protection from the elements on heavy flow days.

timb64 · 10-31-2020, 01:21 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by normhead

AW Tampax cameras and Tampon lenses, for photographers who want the most protection from the elements on heavy flow days.

And you can roller skate,play tennis or dance the night away!

robtcorl · 10-31-2020, 02:58 PM

Reverend Jim at his finest.

Youtu.be

bxf · 10-31-2020, 03:03 PM - **3 Likes**

Good picture.

Parallax · 10-31-2020, 03:12 PM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by timb64

And you can roller skate,

Not in a buffalo herd.............

You Tube

robtcorl · 11-01-2020, 06:11 AM - **6 Likes**

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age),
but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.

Parallax · 11-02-2020, 08:56 AM - **7 Likes**

With self-driving vehicles becoming more prevalent I suspect it won't be long before somebody writes a country-western song about his truck leaving him.

10-31-2020, 03:03 PM - 3 Likes	#3282
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Good picture. Attached Images

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10-30-2020, 12:50 PM - 4 Likes	#3271
blumoon722 Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 424	This ad was on Facebook Marketplace today: $145 Pentax K1000 camera Tampon 70-210mm lens UV lens Tampon adaptors Vintage Flash Fliteline camera bag

10-30-2020, 01:04 PM	#3272
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by blumoon722 This ad was on Facebook Marketplace today: $145 Pentax K1000 camera Tampon 70-210mm lens UV lens Tampon adaptors Vintage Flash Fliteline camera bag A well known member of PF has a Tampon lens too!

10-31-2020, 02:09 AM - 6 Likes	#3273
Liney Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 1,237	Back to old jokes with a filthy punchline Grandad was at his sons house playing wth his grandson in the back garden. The grandson is looking down at something on the grass and grandad asks him what he is looking at. The grandson points to a worm and asks grandad "what's that"? Grandad explains that it is a worm, a very wiggly creature who live underground in a hole. Grandad says to his grandson that it can be very difficult to get the worm back in its hole, but if he can thing of a way to achieve that grandad would give grandson a dollar. Grandson thinks for a minute then runs back into the house. He reappears a coouple of minute later with his mums hairspray, lays the worm out flat on the ground and gives it a good spray. The worm is then stiff and allows the grandson to pick up the stiff worm and slide it back into its hole. Grandad is very impressed and takes a dollar out of his pocket and gives it to grandson. The next day grandad comes round to visit grandson again, and gives him five dollars from grandma....

10-31-2020, 02:21 AM - 4 Likes	#3274
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,312	Useful stuff, hairspray - turns flies into gliders.

10-31-2020, 05:46 AM - 6 Likes	#3275
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by Liney The next day grandad comes round to visit grandson again, and gives him five dollars from grandma.... Reminds me of the story about an old guy who got firm for the first time in years. He threw back the covers on the bed to show his wife and asked her what he should do with it. She said "Why don't you wash it while you have the wrinkles out if it."

10-31-2020, 06:13 AM - 7 Likes	#3276
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	Two five-year-olds were playing one day and one said "Yesterday I found a condom on the veranda". The other one said "Really? What's a veranda?"

10-31-2020, 07:36 AM - 3 Likes	#3277
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,448	Originally posted by timb64 A well known member of PF has a Tampon lens too! Anyone who has spell check on their computer can have a Tampon lens. They are rated both for optical excellence, and absorbency.

10-31-2020, 08:48 AM - 4 Likes	#3278
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	I'm surprised spell check doesn't change Pentax to Tampax.

10-31-2020, 08:55 AM - 4 Likes	#3279
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,448	Originally posted by robtcorl I'm surprised spell check doesn't change Pentax to Tampax. AW Tampax cameras and Tampon lenses, for photographers who want the most protection from the elements on heavy flow days.

10-31-2020, 01:21 PM - 1 Like	#3280
timb64 Pentaxian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: /Situation : Doing my best to avoid idiots! Photos: Gallery Posts: 9,510	Originally posted by normhead AW Tampax cameras and Tampon lenses, for photographers who want the most protection from the elements on heavy flow days. And you can roller skate,play tennis or dance the night away!

11-01-2020, 06:11 AM - 6 Likes	#3284
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers. 'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.' The pharmacist fainted.

11-02-2020, 08:56 AM - 7 Likes	#3285
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,332	With self-driving vehicles becoming more prevalent I suspect it won't be long before somebody writes a country-western song about his truck leaving him.

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