The Joke Thread

**steamloco76** · 12-30-2020, 04:50 PM - **6 Likes**

Did you know that actor Raymond Burr had a younger brother who lived in Oregon?
He was a lumberjack for Weyerhaeuser. His name was Tim, Tim Burr..

Martin Stu · 12-31-2020, 12:54 AM - **3 Likes**

A wealthy man in Monte Carlo has squandered all his fortune into roulette. He left the casino and walked sadly along the road. And suddenly an inner voice says to him:

"All is not lost yet, not all ... You have left your deceased mother's ring on your hand. Come back and play again."

The man returned, entered the hall and an inner voice told him:

- "Put it on black." The man took off the ring and put it on black. The roulette spun. Dropped red. And an inner voice said:

- "Oh my God, how wrong I was!"

SimonC · 12-31-2020, 08:20 AM - **10 Likes**

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

Chetverovod · 12-31-2020, 08:45 AM - **3 Likes**

Russian cyberfarm on Mars

Youtu.be

SimonC · 01-01-2021, 01:56 AM - **2 Likes**

I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.

35mmfilmfan · 01-01-2021, 05:46 AM - **4 Likes**

just accidentally dropped a Vivitar 283 down the loo -

Talk about a flash in the pan.

Parallax · 01-01-2021, 07:06 AM - **15 Likes**

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t
the correct response.

bxf · 01-01-2021, 04:18 PM - **10 Likes**

Auld lang syne

**WPRESTO** · 01-02-2021, 04:18 AM

Originally posted by bxf

Auld lang syne

Spot-on timing for that post.

Jean Poitiers · 01-02-2021, 07:24 AM - **8 Likes**

From the other side of the pond ...

Alien 1: " What are they celebrating? "

Alien 2: " Their planet made an orbit around the sun. "

Alien 1: " I said that they were very stupid. "

35mmfilmfan · 01-02-2021, 03:53 PM - **3 Likes**

Originally posted by WPRESTO

Spot-on timing for that post.

Allan Sherman :

'I know a man, his name is Lang,
He has a Neon sign -
Now Mr. Lang is very old,
So they call it 'Old Lang's Sign'.'

Or The Who :

'Meet the New Year -
Same as the Old Year'.

Martin Stu · 01-03-2021, 04:55 AM - **3 Likes**

The kid Indian asks his mother:

- Why is my sister called Rising Sun?

- Because she was conceived at dawn.

- Why is the youngest named Blue Flower?

- Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers.
Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions!

Jean Poitiers · 01-03-2021, 07:40 AM - **12 Likes**

" Remember to update your money today "

**steamloco76** · 01-03-2021, 08:50 AM - **2 Likes**

Originally posted by Martin Stu

The kid Indian asks his mother:

- Why is my sister called Rising Sun?

- Because she was conceived at dawn.

- Why is the youngest named Blue Flower?

- Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers.
Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions!

This joke works so much better when it isn’t quite so forum friendly.

35mmfilmfan · 01-03-2021, 11:07 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by steamloco76

This joke works so much better when it isn’t quite so forum friendly.

Careful - or the next bucket of water will be for you !

12-31-2020, 12:54 AM - 3 Likes	#3587
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	A wealthy man in Monte Carlo has squandered all his fortune into roulette. He left the casino and walked sadly along the road. And suddenly an inner voice says to him: "All is not lost yet, not all ... You have left your deceased mother's ring on your hand. Come back and play again." The man returned, entered the hall and an inner voice told him: - "Put it on black." The man took off the ring and put it on black. The roulette spun. Dropped red. And an inner voice said: - "Oh my God, how wrong I was!" Last edited by Martin Stu; 01-01-2021 at 12:38 PM.

01-01-2021, 04:18 PM - 10 Likes	#3593
bxf Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lisbon area Posts: 1,660	Auld lang syne Attached Images

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12-30-2020, 04:50 PM - 6 Likes	#3586
steamloco76 Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Pennsylvania Photos: Gallery Posts: 2,710	Did you know that actor Raymond Burr had a younger brother who lived in Oregon? He was a lumberjack for Weyerhaeuser. His name was Tim, Tim Burr..

12-31-2020, 08:20 AM - 10 Likes	#3588
SimonC Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Trearddur Bay, Isle of Anglesey Posts: 466	My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

01-01-2021, 01:56 AM - 2 Likes	#3590
SimonC Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Trearddur Bay, Isle of Anglesey Posts: 466	I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.

01-01-2021, 05:46 AM - 4 Likes	#3591
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,338	just accidentally dropped a Vivitar 283 down the loo - Talk about a flash in the pan.

01-01-2021, 07:06 AM - 15 Likes	#3592
Parallax Senior Moderator Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South Dakota Photos: Gallery Posts: 19,333	Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.

01-02-2021, 04:18 AM	#3594
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,138	Originally posted by bxf Auld lang syne Spot-on timing for that post.

01-02-2021, 03:53 PM - 3 Likes	#3596
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,338	Originally posted by WPRESTO Spot-on timing for that post. Allan Sherman : 'I know a man, his name is Lang, He has a Neon sign - Now Mr. Lang is very old, So they call it 'Old Lang's Sign'.' Or The Who : 'Meet the New Year - Same as the Old Year'.

01-03-2021, 04:55 AM - 3 Likes	#3597
Martin Stu Pentaxian Join Date: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,115	The kid Indian asks his mother: - Why is my sister called Rising Sun? - Because she was conceived at dawn. - Why is the youngest named Blue Flower? - Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers. Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions!

01-03-2021, 08:50 AM - 2 Likes	#3599
steamloco76 Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Pennsylvania Photos: Gallery Posts: 2,710	Originally posted by Martin Stu The kid Indian asks his mother: - Why is my sister called Rising Sun? - Because she was conceived at dawn. - Why is the youngest named Blue Flower? - Because he was conceived in a meadow of cornflowers. Enough! Stop pestering me with Torn Elastic questions! This joke works so much better when it isn’t quite so forum friendly.

01-03-2021, 11:07 AM - 1 Like	#3600
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,338	Originally posted by steamloco76 This joke works so much better when it isn’t quite so forum friendly. Careful - or the next bucket of water will be for you !