The Joke Thread

robtcorl · 02-22-2021, 06:03 PM - **16 Likes**

Breaking news.
Man shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.
Surgeons revealed he is fully recovered.

**StiffLegged** · 02-23-2021, 02:54 PM - **11 Likes**

**fuzzyphotos** · 02-23-2021, 07:52 PM - **3 Likes**

There is no cure for stupidity.....

But we can check for it.

Jean Poitiers · 02-24-2021, 01:34 PM - **8 Likes**

From FB ... enough said

Attached Images

View Picture EXIF

robtcorl · 02-25-2021, 05:40 AM - **9 Likes**

Got my wife some of that new Gorilla glue chapstick.

She's speechless.

**clackers** · 02-25-2021, 10:01 PM - **7 Likes**

"A drunk man enters a church and begins to stumble from pew to pew as a priest at the back of the room observes and feels compassion for him.

The drunk finally makes it to the confessional box, enters and sits down. The priest sees this as his moment to help this poor lost soul and enters the confessional from the back. He sits and waits quietly for the man to pour out his sins.

There is silence for several minutes, so finally the priest coughs and says, "Son, can I help you?"

After a pause, the drunk says, "Yeah. You got any paper on your side?"

Jean Poitiers · 02-28-2021, 02:22 AM - **4 Likes**

A new challenge is sweeping through France!

" Join the three-day challenge without alcohol ... the 29th, 30th & 31st of February "

Attached Images

View Picture EXIF

Last edited by Jean Poitiers; 03-01-2021 at 10:44 AM.

robtcorl · 03-01-2021, 07:17 AM - **9 Likes**

35mmfilmfan · 03-03-2021, 05:11 AM - **2 Likes**

The worms crawl in, and the worms crawl out
The ones that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in, and your teeth fall out
Your brains come trickling down your snout -

Be merry, my friends, be merry.

normhead · 03-03-2021, 06:38 AM - **1 Like**

The worms crawl in the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They turn your stomach a slimy green
and puffs come out like whipping cream

The worms seem to have their very own poetic fan club.

**carabez** · 03-03-2021, 07:57 AM - **7 Likes**

May be previous posted...

**WPRESTO** · 03-03-2021, 10:26 AM - **3 Likes**

FYI, V-A-V the comment by Betty White above concerning application of glue to your hair. Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit.

Two things come to mind:
1) if she had won the suit, cinder-block makers would need to apply a warning about not swimming while carrying their product.
2) It might have been safer if the glue company had put on the following warning: "Not for use by idiots."

robtcorl · 03-04-2021, 05:23 AM

Originally posted by WPRESTO

Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit.

I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes.
Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair?

**WPRESTO** · 03-04-2021, 05:33 AM

Originally posted by robtcorl

I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes.
Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair?

Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow

bigdavephoto · 03-04-2021, 08:23 AM - **1 Like**

Originally posted by WPRESTO

Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow

About the woman and McDonalds, part of what you said is a myth. I looked into it one day because I was board and curious.

The woman was with her grandson, her grand son was driving. This also happened in the 70's before cars had cup holders. They went through the drive through and she did place the cup of coffee between her legs. The boy turned into a parking space bumping the curb causing the lid to pop off and splash onto her. She was wearing cotton sweat pants and she could not unbuckle and get out of the car fast enough.

They went to the hospital and she ended up with 2ed and 3rd degree burns. She contacted that McD not the corporation and asked them to pay for the hospital bills and ,of course they refused. So she had to file a lawsuit.

During the investigation into the case, her lawyer found out that the health department had given that McD's several warnings about the temperature of the coffee. Apparently, the coffee is to be served between 160 and 170 degrees. That franchise was serving the coffee at 200+ degrees.

We all know, she won her case. This is where it gets funny. The original hospital bills she wanted the franchise to pay was less then $20,000. As I think about it, the bills might have been less then $10,000. In the end, that franchise had to pay the woman $700,000 dollars and all that franchise had to do was turn down the coffee machine which would have prevented all of this from happening.

03-03-2021, 07:57 AM - 7 Likes	#3746
carabez Site Supporter Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: Cinco de Mayo Photos: Gallery Posts: 793	May be previous posted... Last edited by carabez; 03-03-2021 at 02:40 PM. Reason: Disapear from attachements

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Where is the annual Pentax FF April fool joke?	LFLee	Pentax Full Frame	27	04-04-2014 03:48 AM
Misc Batman : The Killing Joke	6BQ5	Post Your Photos!	7	02-24-2014 01:58 PM
Joke Thread!	Gooshin	General Talk	327	10-23-2012 08:59 PM
Political Joke Thread	Parallax	General Talk	42	04-20-2012 06:42 AM

02-22-2021, 06:03 PM - 16 Likes	#3736
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Breaking news. Man shot 200 times with an upholstery gun. Surgeons revealed he is fully recovered.

02-23-2021, 02:54 PM - 11 Likes	#3737
StiffLegged Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2018 Photos: Gallery Posts: 4,620

02-23-2021, 07:52 PM - 3 Likes	#3738
fuzzyphotos Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Jan 2016 Photos: Albums Posts: 313	There is no cure for stupidity..... But we can check for it.

02-25-2021, 05:40 AM - 9 Likes	#3740
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Got my wife some of that new Gorilla glue chapstick. She's speechless.

02-25-2021, 10:01 PM - 7 Likes	#3741
clackers Otis Memorial Pentaxian Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Melbourne Photos: Albums Posts: 16,397	"A drunk man enters a church and begins to stumble from pew to pew as a priest at the back of the room observes and feels compassion for him. The drunk finally makes it to the confessional box, enters and sits down. The priest sees this as his moment to help this poor lost soul and enters the confessional from the back. He sits and waits quietly for the man to pour out his sins. There is silence for several minutes, so finally the priest coughs and says, "Son, can I help you?" After a pause, the drunk says, "Yeah. You got any paper on your side?"

03-01-2021, 07:17 AM - 9 Likes	#3743
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606

03-03-2021, 05:11 AM - 2 Likes	#3744
35mmfilmfan Pentaxian Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 4,329	The worms crawl in, and the worms crawl out The ones that crawl in are lean and thin The ones that crawl out are fat and stout Your eyes fall in, and your teeth fall out Your brains come trickling down your snout - Be merry, my friends, be merry.

03-03-2021, 06:38 AM - 1 Like	#3745
normhead Pentaxian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Near Algonquin Park Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 40,451	The worms crawl in the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout They turn your stomach a slimy green and puffs come out like whipping cream The worms seem to have their very own poetic fan club.

03-03-2021, 10:26 AM - 3 Likes	#3747
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,108	FYI, V-A-V the comment by Betty White above concerning application of glue to your hair. Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit. Two things come to mind: 1) if she had won the suit, cinder-block makers would need to apply a warning about not swimming while carrying their product. 2) It might have been safer if the glue company had put on the following warning: "Not for use by idiots."

03-04-2021, 05:23 AM	#3748
robtcorl Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Photos: Gallery Posts: 11,606	Originally posted by WPRESTO Apparently her witticism was in response to a woman who did put some hi-tech super glue on her hair, and of course could not get it out, then sued the glue maker because the warning does say do not ingest, do not get in your eyes, do not get on your skin, but it does not specifically say don't use on your hair. Thankfully she lost the lawsuit. I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes. Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair?

03-04-2021, 05:33 AM	#3749
WPRESTO Loyal Site Supporter Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Massachusetts Photos: Gallery \| Albums Posts: 59,108	Originally posted by robtcorl I hadn't heard about her suing, and Snopes says she considered it, but didn't. If one is to believe Snopes. Is a Woman Suing Gorilla Glue After She Put It in Her Hair? Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow

03-04-2021, 08:23 AM - 1 Like	#3750
bigdavephoto Pentaxian Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: East central Indiana Photos: Gallery Posts: 893	Originally posted by WPRESTO Could be that the lawyer she approached actually had sense enough to avoid wasting his/her time. I got the story third or fourth hand. Thing is the woman who bought coffee at a McD's drive through, placed the container between her knees and drove away, spilling the coffee and burning her private places, then sued because the cup did not warn that the coffee was hot, and won, for really big money. She was elderly, had been drinking coffee for decades but never realized it could be hot enough to burn your skin, and her high school driving instructor never told her never to hold something scalding hot between your knees when operating a vehicle. It's a wonder she did not sue the latter. Please note my sign-off bellow About the woman and McDonalds, part of what you said is a myth. I looked into it one day because I was board and curious. The woman was with her grandson, her grand son was driving. This also happened in the 70's before cars had cup holders. They went through the drive through and she did place the cup of coffee between her legs. The boy turned into a parking space bumping the curb causing the lid to pop off and splash onto her. She was wearing cotton sweat pants and she could not unbuckle and get out of the car fast enough. They went to the hospital and she ended up with 2ed and 3rd degree burns. She contacted that McD not the corporation and asked them to pay for the hospital bills and ,of course they refused. So she had to file a lawsuit. During the investigation into the case, her lawyer found out that the health department had given that McD's several warnings about the temperature of the coffee. Apparently, the coffee is to be served between 160 and 170 degrees. That franchise was serving the coffee at 200+ degrees. We all know, she won her case. This is where it gets funny. The original hospital bills she wanted the franchise to pay was less then $20,000. As I think about it, the bills might have been less then $10,000. In the end, that franchise had to pay the woman $700,000 dollars and all that franchise had to do was turn down the coffee machine which would have prevented all of this from happening.