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03-28-2021, 04:58 PM - 5 Likes   #3826
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03-28-2021, 05:00 PM   #3827
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That image would also be appropriate for the "diagonals" thread.
03-30-2021, 09:45 AM - 11 Likes   #3828
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Some odds & ends ...
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03-30-2021, 01:33 PM - 9 Likes   #3829
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A man was injured in a bizarre Peek-a-boo accident.

He’s in ICU.

03-30-2021, 10:15 PM - 13 Likes   #3830
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"A man walked into a Melbourne supermarket with his zipper down.

A lady cashier walked up to him and said, ‘Your barracks door is open,’

This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went away looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up to him and said, ‘Your fly is open.’

He zipped up and finished his shopping.

He then intentionally got in the checkout line being served by that lady, planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see the soldier standing at attention?’

The lady thought for a moment and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags!’"
03-31-2021, 12:59 AM - 6 Likes   #3831
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From a galaxy far, far away ...
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03-31-2021, 03:35 AM - 16 Likes   #3832
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It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering!

03-31-2021, 04:27 AM - 3 Likes   #3833
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QuoteOriginally posted by clackers Quote
"A man walked into a Melbourne supermarket with his zipper down.

A lady cashier walked up to him and said, ‘Your barracks door is open,’

This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went away looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up to him and said, ‘Your fly is open.’

He zipped up and finished his shopping.

He then intentionally got in the checkout line being served by that lady, planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see the soldier standing at attention?’

The lady thought for a moment and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags!’"
The variation on that joke I’m familiar with involves a garage door,sleek red sports car and an old banger with two flat tyres!

Last edited by timb64; 04-07-2021 at 09:43 AM.
03-31-2021, 08:28 AM - 14 Likes   #3834
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03-31-2021, 08:39 AM - 16 Likes   #3835
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My contribution for today.
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04-01-2021, 05:54 AM - 8 Likes   #3836
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04-01-2021, 08:40 AM - 2 Likes   #3837
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French April 1st tradition ... local press news story

In the newspaper today, a story about the project to plant trees along the runaway of the local airport in order to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and increase shade for the passengers ... not really a bad idea.

Centre Presse : Des arbres sur l'a

Translation => "The Friends of the Green association, responsible for reforestation,
informs us of a project to plant 230 plane trees on the Biard airport site.
The association wants to get involved with the unwavering desire to offset carbon dioxide(CO2)
emissions linked to human activity. So what could be easier than planting trees where space permits,
in this case on the site of an airport?
The project is pharaonic. The 230 plane trees will be planted every 20 m, at a distance of 10 m
on either side of the 2,350 m long Biard airport runway. The Friends of the Green see only advantages.
In addition to being guarantors of biodiversity, the trees of the airport, distributed on each side of the tarmac,
will precisely materialize the runway for a pilot, even suffering from myopia, to the point of going without lighting
at night during landing. So much energy savings. It will be enough for the pilot to aim well for the alley drawn
by the two rows of trees. In summer, the trees will protect passengers waiting for a flight from the sun.
At the end of autumn, the broad leaves characteristic of the plane tree will cover the runway,
offering the unique spectacle in Europe of a runway coated in shades of yellow.
Planting will begin in November at Sainte-Catherine, when all wood is taking root.
Planting will be provided by the company Désairbats, a specialist in green spaces."

Last edited by Jean Poitiers; 04-01-2021 at 08:46 AM.
04-01-2021, 09:23 AM - 4 Likes   #3838
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I gave my wife a book "How to Save Money"... now I don't smoke, I ride a bike to work, I lost 5 kilograms...
04-01-2021, 09:57 AM   #3839
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QuoteOriginally posted by robtcorl Quote
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So true. So sad.
04-02-2021, 06:47 AM - 2 Likes   #3840
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April Fools Day is over, everything on the internet is true again!!
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